Secondary School Child - Home Alone

sooty&sweep

Hi

My son starts secondary school next year and he'll be 11 1/2 by the time he starts.
At the moment I work 5 days a week and finish at 3pm on 3 days and pick them up from school. The other two days they go into after school club.
The secondary school I'm considering finishes at 2.50pm so I wouldn't be able to pick him up. There is a bus that has a stop very close to our house and so I was planning that he'd get the bus home and let himself in and he'd be on his own for an hour or so a couple of night a week. I had also planned to get him a mobile phone so he'd be able to contact me and me him.
I'm not entirely comfortable with this but to a certain extent I've been putting it down to my nerves about losing alot of control when he goes to secondary school. I'd also got the impression from talking to others that this is fairly common.

I've just got a booklet home today from school published by the Safeguarding Children Board. It states that a child under the age of 13 shouldn't be left at home alone. They do state that its not the law but what they believe to be good practise.
So to take it a stage further should I be allowing him to travel home from school alone ?

I'm just wondering what others do ?
To my knowledge secondary schools don't have after school clubs.

Thanks
Jen

Gillyx

I was left to get breakfast and get myself out to school in the morning, and let myself in at night, start dinner for my parents and I when I got home from school, the minute I started secondary school. I was 12 in the September, started school in the August. They both left between 7.30 and 8 o clock in the morning and would be home between 6 and 6.30 at night. I managed fine, I think it comes down to the individual and how they can cope with it.

JBD

Personally I would allow him to make his own way home and to be indoors on his own as well.Ignore the booklet you have been sent home. As long as he is aware of basic rules [not opening the door, not cooking chips in the chip pan] then I see no reason why an average 11 year shouldn't be capable of looking after himself for this amount of time.
Of course it is a different matter if a child has special needs, but not for the majority of cases.

thegirlintheattic

Don't think that an hour will do any harm. Give him the basic safety talk and ban him from cooking. Maybe see if there is a trustworthy neighbour who is usually in that you could tell your DS to go to if he has any problems.

If you are still worried most school libraries will be open for 30 mins or so after school or sent him to the public library if nearby. He can get his homework done and not be home alone.

j.e.j.

A youngster of secondary school age should be ok for an hour or two. You might want to be there maybe for the first week or two as it'll be a new school but after that he should be fine!

balletshoes

If you trust him and consider him to be a fairly sensible child, I think him getting the bus home and being home for an hour by himself a couple of times a week will be fine.

I'm sure you've thought of it already, but practise with him getting home, make sure he knows how to keep his house key safe, and fully discuss not answering the door/phone etc etc, set down the rules early.

moomoomama27

I wouldn't. I was only just letting DD walk to school and back by that age, and didn't leave her alone until she was about 12 1/2, and even now at 14 it's for no more than an hour.

I'm an anxious parent, and I know I'm over protective, but I would kind of agree with age 13 as a general rule. but if you feel your child is mature enough, that's your decision, as long as it's not just for convenience, but because they are able to handle the responsbility.

CH27

Is there a neighbour who you trust for him to go to in an emergancy?

My son let himself in after school once he started high school but I had a neighbour who could help in an emergancy.
I'm now on look out for a child who has just started but she's fine.

Debbie_A_3

You know your own son better than anyone else. Some 11-year old children are responsible and would be just fine. Others need to be kept under "close supervision" - or else.

General literature can only give general advice, and it will always err on the side of caution. Do what you think is best, though bear in mind that should "something go wrong" then you will have to explain yourself. That said, my 11-year old lets himself in several afternoons after school.

Debbie

Spendless

Mine has just started Secondary at 11.5. I finish at 3, get back by 3.30 and am in the school playground picking up his 8yo sister at 3.30ish. DS finishes at 3.10 and gets home whilst I'm still in the playground. He has his own door key. TBH I found a huge difference in my son being 10.5 and turning 11. Don't let that booklet give you the jitters, you know your son and his boundaries and whether he's responsible. Here there isn't any term-time care for yr 7+ kids, with the exception of, if you can get a childminder you're already using to keep a place.

I had to work till 5pm some evenings the other week and my DS was fine. I left him a set of instructions of which the 1st one read, 'Phone mum at work on xxxx; and then
'you ARE allowed to use microwave, toaster.
You are NOT allowed to use cooker and then I left it on the table with the remote control on top of it so he was bound to find it. :rotfl:


What some other parents do, if they live out of catchment is get the older child to meet them in the playground where they'll be collecting their younger one. I don't know if that's an option for you to consider?

mrshappy

I let my son make his own way home from school and in to the house at 11 and a half when he started high school. Most days he was home alone for about 45 minutes before I got in. Like others have said I think it's wise to set down some ground rules, no cooking, don't answer the phone or door, no friends in etc. He was fine and to be honest I felt that the little bit of responsibility he was given then has helped his all round level of responsibility and maturity. He knew that being able to be home alone was a privilege which could be withdrawn if appropriate and he would have to walk to my work (local) and wait for me to finish if he did something which broke the trust I had given. He is now almost 15 and we have had no incidents which have caused me any concern. He also knew that he could phone me at work, phone my parents or contact a neighbour if he needed to.
After saying all that, you know your child better than anyone else and whether or not he can be trusted to be home alone.