Hello.. and how on earth do you stay sane when clearing debt?

dianadors

You have to totally change your mindset and your lifestyle. We got into camping for weekend breaks away and then decided that 2 weeks camping can be a great holiday - for next to nothing cost. (and they havebeen some of our best holidays ever!).

The key to our success was to make it much more fun than spending. We now have a much better social life and go out far more now - by using the freebies site and sourcing other free nights out. We regularly go to the cinema (about twice a week) with freeby tickets and my friend and I are going to a fashion show this week - with a free buffet and free wine! We literally would turn up to the opening of an envelope - if it was free and had a free tea included! We recently went to an open house event on a local new build housing estate as they were struggling to sell the houses. We met friends there and drunk a couple of bottles of free wine and had a Hog Roast sandwich or two. We have also been to a Car Park opening (which was the best party EVER! Wayne Hemingway was there and a local very expensive eatery did the food.)
Ive had free spa days, free makeovers and free make up. One year I got all my Christmas presents for free - and they were amazing! We have free days/weekends out at Motor racing events. Almost all of these have been from this site.

Its dangerous to look at others lives and be envious of all their "Trappings of wealth" Sometimes all is not what it seems. Frugal is the new "loadsamoney" . Its trendy and can be fun and is fab when you reach your goal.

Horseunderwater

We have always had very little spare cash as our incomes are relatively low - but we earn too much to get any work tax/child tax credit help.
I now have a disease that is incurable and as it is causing me problems, I am unable to work at the moment. So I am looking at little things like buying a stand by plug that operates by remote for TV/Freeview box and I have one on an extension lead so that is not on as it was. I did this a while back. You can buy them on Ebay cheaply. I am also going to totally turn off my heating during the day and only have it on when rest of family is present. All bulbs are energy savers. I don't buy expensive cleaners and use old home made stuff like soda crystals added to dishwashing and washing machine loads. Clears drains and machines at same time and it get undies stain free. Combine it with basic laundry liquid and add warm water and pop in a spray bottle and you get a bathroom kitchen cleaner as good as any shop bought one for a fraction of cost. A bottle of value/basic cola for 20p will clean a toilet, get a burned pan back from the dead. Vinegar will clean glass and can be used in dishwasher instead of rinse aid and it can also be used as a fabric softener. No the clothes do not smell of it.
If you have a mortgage, can you re do it at a lower rate without penalty? Can you move some credit cards to a 0% long term deal. I just got a surprise that I was able to move a 34.9% card debt to 0% for 21 months. So if I pay what I paid on other card I will effectively clear the debt to almost nothing by time limit of deal is up. Thereby saving £1100 interest or thereabouts.
We do not have holidays, these days. Last family one 2006 and I caught a serious chest infection there and ended up in hospital for a week.
There are some bills that can be managed better by paying up front on a prepay meter for gas and electric. If you have a debt with them, go that way and they will take some for debt each week and the rest goes for usage. We did that in 2005 and I still do it that way. infact I now top up my card/key on a USB device from home, so do not have to drive to a shop to do a top up. Another saving.
Learn about use by dates and buy stuff on last day of sale, freeze it and bulk cook it and then portion it into ready meals that you have made. Check petrol/diesel prices and get to know which are likely to be cheaper, but do not go out of way to go to them. Sometimes paying 1p is cheaper than driving 5 miles + to save a penny.
Pack up own lunches and take a flask.
Also put all bills into 2 categories. Rent/mortgage TV licence and Council tax are the bills you must pay. Followed by Water and gas elect and food and all insurances. Do you need a mobile phone that does it all, or could you get pay/go and spend far less. I still have £11 left on mine as I use it as a phone and nothing else voiucher paid for 5 months ago. Do you own anything, that still works, but which you no longer use, sell it.
Finally if your partner will not work and expects you to finance her, stop doing it and help her get her money in order and get her to give you help either in actual housework or she gets a job.
Can you use another way to get to work that is less expensive, say a bus multi ride ticket? When adversity really hits, you can and do manage. I am having to. I am trying to open up another income generator, but it all takes time.
There are so many ways to get there.
Frances

JustinCredibleGillespie

AngryDog wrote: »

Thanks Justin I think I pretty much made my decision last night. got home from work and again very little had been done. She had found time to surf the web and was doing just that when I got home.
I had to go out, came home and i think she had put some of her clothes away.

Hopefully next week I'll have a post saying "Now a single man" lol.

Hey AngryDog. How are things? I'll keep my eye out for any updates on your progress. Well done to u also Freelancegirl

JCG

HairyHandofDartmoor

I do understand how hard it is Freelancegirl, but I admire you for sticking with it for so long. At least you only have one year to go. I did well for a couple of years, paid off half of our debts and then fell off the wagon after a couple of years. Our debts are now higher than they were to begin with and now it's a recession it's going to be much harder to pay them off. Stick with it and let me be a painful lesson to you!

mildredalien

It is very depressing isn't it? I'm in the relatively fortunate position that my debts are 'manageable' and I can make minimum repayments easily, so I have been able to have holidays and treat myself from time to time. Although finding the balance between getting my debts paid off and having a life is not easy! It's so tempting to just keep spending (not creating more debt, just spending my earnings) on holidays and clothes and nice things as technically I can afford them. Then I think about how much more disposable income I would have without my credit card payments....

Angrydog, I was in a similar position with my ex-boyfriend who didn't work for the majority of our relationship. I paid almost all the bills and general expenses on a pretty crappy wage myself, took out loans to cover his debts and racked up more of my own debt to cover our living expenses. Needless to say it did not end well!! It's hard not to get a little down about debt that was built up in the context of a rubbish relationship, hehe, but have to live and learn!

sunshinegirl66

I have been going through similar problemns as a lot of people have on here and we are about half way there now. I will be very glad when it has all been cleared and my advice to anyone would be to try and avoid credit cards if possible.As we are on a limited budget due to being retired it makes things a little tight but we will have great satis faction to be debt free by October 2015.:j

Happytogetdebtfree wrote: »

Hi there first off i started calling mine negative wealth after i read firewalkers thread and that gave me a whole new outlook on things more positive, i started out with 77k of negative wealth and im looking to be free of all that by deceber 2012 its a mass achievement, i dont look at anyone and feel jealous what i think is yes i have paid lots on negative wealth and hindsights a great thing but if we hadnt of had this learning journey would we be thinking different? i know when its all paid off il be building some savings and il be having a luxurious holiday no expense spared and it will be all paid for ... everyday we are getting somewhere everyday we learn new things and ideas that we can pass on to our children i want this learning curve to be of some value for me it means il be inclined to pay my mortgage off sooner rather than later il keep savings il plan for the future il buy now and pay now and i wont need a never never card i find the balance in life and i enjoy the ride

sunshinegirl66

Dear freelance Girl i have read your story and i'm new on here too.I can't wait to be debt free either as it feels like a daily struggle.Holidays are impossible but as long as we have our health things are manageable.I regret being in debt at our age as pensioners but things happen and what's done is done, so we just have to be positive and complete the task ahead.:j

FreelanceGirl wrote: »

Hi everyone! I've been lurking for some time and thought I'd say hello and introduce myself. I'm a seriously bad person with money. Or I was! When I left university 11 years ago, I had a lot of debt and then because my first job only paid £10K, I struggled and lived beyond my means.

I was a victim of 'consolidation' and 'payment protection plans' and got myself into a right mess... at one point with a £28,000 loan!?! Not to mention the credit cards I had.

When I met my husband, he really helped me out. That was eight years ago and today, that £28,000 loan is gone! There are no more credit cards. And all that remains is a £9,000 loan between the two of us plus an overdraft. Not forgetting student loans of course.

Although we've still got £17,000 odd debt between us, I feel like we're finally getting somewhere. But it's taken eight years and a lot of blood, sweat and tears.

We've probably paid off £15,000 over the past year! We both run our own businesses and mine's finally doing well. Although it's swings and roundabouts with freelancing. I just lost a few clients so my income's dropped again but hey ho! You've got to make hay while the sun shines and all that. Gotta whack any extra cash onto savings.

At this rate, we think we'll be debt-free by next summer.

But it's killed us. It really has. How does everyone else cope? I find it so depressing sometimes, seeing friends with mortgages and friends going on expensive holidays... buying new clothes, etc.

Not that we haven't been away on holiday. But we've got no savings yet and don't own a house... yet. I feel like we've been slogging away for so long and getting nowhere.

Does anyone else get down? Feel like they're getting nowhere and just paying off debts all the time?

Anyway, hope I'm ok posting this. Thanks
FG



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paulmapp8306

Directly to the Question - yes its natural.

To put you at easy, Ive under debt management for 11 years paying off £44,000 worth of debt - while raising a family and being the only parent in work.

We have had no money for treats, holidays - even days out and had to budget to the penny. My kids are now 8 and 6 - and the debt is down to £18000. Thankfully I have a lump some coming in 20 months time and will finally be debt free. Its a long hard road, and depression gets you at times - but you just keep going. It gets easier with time too as you get used to it, and one day you'll be free.

I guess the saving grace - if there is one - is that being in debt management, all my debts have 0% interest, so im only paying off the initial capital and interest built up before entering the plan.

ampafc

AngryDog - you need to man up imo.

This person you are living with is clearly a lazy waster. Tell her to get a job, or at least contribute by way of carrying out household chores, otherwise she is out. Time to stop looking for sympathy, and take firm action!

Barebear

Dealing with debt is a horrible rollercoaster. I have detested most of my time, from the addictive times when I would withdraw £60 from any of my credit cards just to go out with my friends, to the realisation that I had sunk to a low of £20K plus unsecured debt. Begging companies to give me more debt and the despair and anger because they wouldn't give me more!

Looking back, I learned to deal with money the very very hard way. I got no financial education from parents or school other than the old chestnut "if you earn £1 and spend £1.01, you're in trouble".

My rollercoaster is just slowing down so that I can get off and I feel sick! When I get off (debt free), I'll run as fast as I can to those fairground gates and never look back.

The good thing about the debt situation is that it's exponential. It takes sooooo much out of you and your pocket, but the nearer you get to that elusive £0 level both in debt and savings, the quicker you can deal with things as they crop up. After going through that £0 mark, I will be able to save much more than I could pay off in debt, so I expect to save much quicker than I have been reducing my debt.

Having a plan, recording each penny spent on repaying is essential to your sanity!

Well done on the work done so far! All the very best to you both in your next phase!!!