Hello.. and how on earth do you stay sane when clearing debt?

Happytogetdebtfree

True we always feel better if we assume people are still in the credit bubble... sorry to hear this angrydog hopefully it will be resolved either way something needs to be discussed heres more hugs xx

rictus123

Yeh sometimes slowing down for a couple of days can help get your focus back and realise whats important. Id rather have good health and some debt than bad health that cant be helped and no debt.

AngryDog

psychopathbabble wrote: »

Angrydog, I get sidetracked and have been on holidays more than once in the last couple of years... I think I'd just crumble and give up if I never had anything to look forward to. Angrydog, hope you come to a suitable conclusion for both of you x

Holidays dont really bother me so much you know? Im quite a home body lol. I have very little in the way of vices (I havent been to a pub for over a year!).

Thanks, its disappointing the lack of support I get from her. Im also having to pay 2 of her debts as well. We've just moved house and its all still a bit all over. I can guarantee that very little will have been done by the time I get home from work. I know I will be doing stuff to the house tonight after a full days work.

Happytogetdebtfree wrote: »

sorry to hear this angrydog hopefully it will be resolved either way something needs to be discussed heres more hugs xx

Well, its coming to a head - people seem to think I'm being taken for a mug. Its annoying, cos I know on my own I can be debt free in a few years lol. Thank you

JustinCredibleGillespie

AngryDog wrote: »

Holidays dont really bother me so much you know? Im quite a home body lol. I have very little in the way of vices (I havent been to a pub for over a year!).

Thanks, its disappointing the lack of support I get from her. Im also having to pay 2 of her debts as well. We've just moved house and its all still a bit all over. I can guarantee that very little will have been done by the time I get home from work. I know I will be doing stuff to the house tonight after a full days work.



Well, its coming to a head - people seem to think I'm being taken for a mug. Its annoying, cos I know on my own I can be debt free in a few years lol. Thank you

Hey AngryDog. I just want to offer you some support. I too had a partner that I let take me for a fool, I paid her debt, I paid all the billsm I carried her for 7 whole years. I ended up having to file for bankruptcy in September. She lied to me a lot! She'd hide all the clothes she purchased with catalogues etc and didn't pay for. She really dragged me down. The only comfort I have is that she is financially linked to me via the Credit Reference Agencies. If i'm bankrupt so is she!

In my opinion thats the very least she deserves. So, chin up! Do what you have to do to make your life better. Don't allow anyone to leech off you. Your hard working and be proud. Clear your debts and give that GF of yours the ole HEAVE HO. You'll feel better for it. Make it a New Years resolution to sort out all aspects of the your life that ''isnt working''.

All the Best :beer:

AngryDog

JustinCredibleGillespie wrote: »

Hey AngryDog. I just want to offer you some support. I too had a partner that I let take me for a fool, I paid her debt, I paid all the billsm I carried her for 7 whole years. I ended up having to file for bankruptcy in September. She lied to me a lot! She'd hide all the clothes she purchased with catalogues etc and didn't pay for. She really dragged me down. The only comfort I have is that she is financially linked to me via the Credit Reference Agencies. If i'm bankrupt so is she!

In my opinion thats the very least she deserves. So, chin up! Do what you have to do to make your life better. Don't allow anyone to leech off you. Your hard working and be proud. Clear your debts and give that GF of yours the ole HEAVE HO. You'll feel better for it. Make it a New Years resolution to sort out all aspects of the your life that ''isnt working''.

All the Best :beer:

Hi Justin,

Wow, I think your situation was alot worse than mine, but I can see the relavances! Im not sure she leaches from me, but shes happy to let me spend money and not any of her own. I've always worked since leaving school and sure I've not always been the best with money but I've always got by. My ex fleeced me a bit but thats old news lol.

I feel very guilty which is why I havent ended it, as she didnt come from much, and by my ending it I'm going to put her back into not much, but then I guess I need to be happy as well? I could easily be debt free in 2 to 3 years should my creditors accept F&FS offers as I'd be saving a fortune compared to what I have now (which is just enough to pay £5 a month to my creditors) (c/tax would go down etc) and I'd be able to save lump sums to pay off etc..

I hope you're sorted and feeling better about things Justin!

JustinCredibleGillespie

AngryDog wrote: »

Hi Justin,

Wow, I think your situation was alot worse than mine, but I can see the relavances! Im not sure she leaches from me, but shes happy to let me spend money and not any of her own. I've always worked since leaving school and sure I've not always been the best with money but I've always got by. My ex fleeced me a bit but thats old news lol.

I feel very guilty which is why I havent ended it, as she didnt come from much, and by my ending it I'm going to put her back into not much, but then I guess I need to be happy as well? I could easily be debt free in 2 to 3 years should my creditors accept F&FS offers as I'd be saving a fortune compared to what I have now (which is just enough to pay £5 a month to my creditors) (c/tax would go down etc) and I'd be able to save lump sums to pay off etc..

I hope you're sorted and feeling better about things Justin!

You have worked hard since leaving school and for what? I walked out on my ''situation'' 3 years ago! It was bad, debt was a big part of it. By sending your GF back to where she came from, maybe, that'll be the wake up call for her to do better for herself and you can meet again in another ''path'' when she realises life is tough, it's not all about hand outs.

I felt alot of guilt when I ended the relationship. I still call it a relationship although we were married. It wasn't a marriage to me, a marriage is about team work and helping each other. Not one burdening the other with their debts and repayments. TBH AngryDog, Guilt is all I felt. I actually met my current partner 2 weeks after my 'marriage' ended. A bit soon I know, however, I didn't realise then that I had met the person I had dreamt up in my head for all those years I struggled to pay debts and bills. I wanted an equal partnership.

Fast forward 3 yrs, I am still in that very happy relationship with someone who knows the values of things that we have (Not material wise). We are on a mission to better our lives and have everything we want to have without turning to credit and having any debts. We persevere and save for the things we both want. We don't constantly live in each others pockets either.

I have hope that you'll also have your LBM in other aspects of your life and where you see yourself in 5 years time. I am only 25 and I assume your young yourself. I never thought I could do it, I seen myself waking up everyday for life and sluggin my guts out at work to come back to a messy house and a lazy Girlfriend. Them days are now over. :T

Sorry for long post.

I wish you all the best

AngryDog

JustinCredibleGillespie wrote: »

You have worked hard since leaving school and for what? I walked out on my ''situation'' 3 years ago! It was bad, debt was a big part of it. By sending your GF back to where she came from, maybe, that'll be the wake up call for her to do better for herself and you can meet again in another ''path'' when she realises life is tough, it's not all about hand outs.

Debt is certainly getting in the way for me. We've talked and if we end it, then there is no going back. We've lived together since August 2009, in that time she has worked for 6 months (only because I got her temp work where I work). Other than that shes never worked since we've been living together. I know things are tough work wisie, but i've always believed that there are usually some jobs out there that someone with little experience can do.

JustinCredibleGillespie wrote: »

I felt alot of guilt when I ended the relationship. I still call it a relationship although we were married. It wasn't a marriage to me, a marriage is about team work and helping each other. Not one burdening the other with their debts and repayments. TBH AngryDog, Guilt is all I felt. I actually met my current partner 2 weeks after my 'marriage' ended. A bit soon I know, however, I didn't realise then that I had met the person I had dreamt up in my head for all those years I struggled to pay debts and bills. I wanted an equal partnership.

Fast forward 3 yrs, I am still in that very happy relationship with someone who knows the values of things that we have (Not material wise). We are on a mission to better our lives and have everything we want to have without turning to credit and having any debts. We persevere and save for the things we both want. We don't constantly live in each others pockets either.

I'd hardly call what I have a relationship now - I go home, we have tea, watch tv, go to bed. its like 2 people sharing a house. Guilt is all thats keeping me with her. Very true, I dont feel like I am in a partnership. It doesnt matter how soon it is, if your life improves then its soon enough! I am happy that you've met someone who values you, and gives you the partnership you wanted. Its good that they're not materialistic My gf isnt either, but doesnt understand the value of money. Its good you both understand the value of money. I have to justify something before I buy it - ie a cd or something, if I dont need it, I rarely buy it.

JustinCredibleGillespie wrote: »

I have hope that you'll also have your LBM in other aspects of your life and where you see yourself in 5 years time. I am only 25 and I assume your young yourself. I never thought I could do it, I seen myself waking up everyday for life and sluggin my guts out at work to come back to a messy house and a lazy Girlfriend. Them days are now over. :T

Sorry for long post.

I wish you all the best

Thank you, I hope so too! I think I've sorta had it, I just cant do anything about it (more like bring myself to do anything about it). I've downsized my house etc to save money so thats all in the right direction. I am 30 so got a few years on you yet lol. I see the same things. Lazy gf, messy house, no equality etc.

No need to apologise for the long post I wish you happy times for the future with your partner

JustinCredibleGillespie

You too AngryDog you too

Keep up the hard work and it'll pay off, whatever you decide, you'll know whats best for YOU. It's 'you' that you need to think of and what kind of life you want for 'yourself'. You'll meet someone with the same values. Just give it time.

As the old saying goes.... ''How are you going to meet the 'right one' if you cant let go of the 'wrong one' .........................

Best of luck on your journey

I'll keep my eye out for any updates on your posts.;)

AngryDog

Thanks Justin I think I pretty much made my decision last night. got home from work and again very little had been done. She had found time to surf the web and was doing just that when I got home.
I had to go out, came home and i think she had put some of her clothes away.

Hopefully next week I'll have a post saying "Now a single man" lol.

FreelanceGirl

Hello AngryDog and hello everyone else. Goodness - I went away to slog my guts off for another week and come back to all these replies. Thanks for the words of encouragement. AngryDog - I feel your pain but there are always people who are worse off and we have to count our blessings.

Holidays aren't cracked up to what they should be. All that travelling and hassle, sunburn and sand. Not fun! Could you at least go camping or do something like that? There's nothing quite like the outdoors.

I think holidays are great though because it's about the lifestyle you lead and frame of mind we have whilst away. If you can try and adopt that same thinking at home, then perhaps you could enjoy the same benefits. I know I'm probably not being much help but you'll get there! You'll pay off those debts one day. Just keep happy.

As for everyone else, you're all too kind. I get so down sometimes. It's normal I suppose. I love the idea of 'having a life' and that's exactly what I plan to do next year. We're already saving a fund for a holiday somewhere. It's giving me focus and keeping me happy.

Thanks guys.