Children's birthday party invites - how do you handle it when you have too many ?

property.advert

Your child is in a new school and with nigh on 30 kids in the class, the stark reality of a potential 20 plus weekend birthday invitations is dawning on you. How do you handle it ?

Already we've knocked back one as it was just too short notice but quite honestly, they are coming in fast and furious already and I can't imagine trying to go to all.

Yet a simple no thanks doesn't seem enough.

So how do / did you manage it ?

Janepig

DD and DS are in classes of 30 and 34 respectively. With DD she's now in year 4 and the number of parties has dried up considerably, with just her best friends inviting her and vice versa. But DS, being in the older half of his year, is right in the middle of his party season and it will last until March. He's been to 3 parties since going back to school, two were on consecutive days in the same venue! He's got another one on Saturday, and I know that October is generally silly season for parties in his class.

Anyway, in his first year in school I think he went to all the parties he was invited to, but last year, after a while I had a gutsfull of his behaviour and that of his classmates, and some of his classmates' parents who were unwilling/unable to tell their precious offspring off when they were out of order. I would just text back or see the relevant parent and tell them that I couldn't make it. No questions asked. Why would "no" not be enough? Are you talking about 30 birthdays spread throughout the whole year, or, like me, 34 in six months?

Jx

HalfPint

a " sorry dd/ds can't attend your party, we already have something on that day/time"etc etc usually does the trick.


my ds's birthday starts of a spate of partys, all within a matter of weeks. I've explained that he cannot invite everyone and that also he cannot go to every one he get's invited to...plus, i've had to explain why some of his friends say "you're on my invite list" then doesn't get an invite.

simples lol

HP

Janepig

HalfPint wrote: »

plus, i've had to explain why some of his friends say "you're on my invite list" then doesn't get an invite.

simples lol

HP

God, that's the worst thing ever! DD has been so upset when she's been left out of sleepovers for friends' birthdays. Because they do say in school "oh you're invited, you're invited" etc.. but then their parents say they can only have two friends or whatever. Much much worse than worrying about saying no to too many invites!!

Jx

victory

Janepig wrote: »

God, that's the worst thing ever! DD has been so upset when she's been left out of sleepovers for friends' birthdays. Because they do say in school "oh you're invited, you're invited" etc.. but then their parents say they can only have two friends or whatever. Much much worse than worrying about saying no to too many invites!!

Jx

Yes I remember my son's crestfallen face after realising that he had been 'invited' at school but when it came to the actual invitations going out, he did not get one, oh the poor boy, then comes the I am your mum and these are the reasons why this could be and he listens, shrugs his shoulders and says 'but I am not going am I mum?' Oh the pain.

gratefulforhelp_2

Why doesn't a "no thanks" do?

CH27

property.advert wrote: »

Your child is in a new school and with nigh on 30 kids in the class, the stark reality of a potential 20 plus weekend birthday invitations is dawning on you. How do you handle it ?

Already we've knocked back one as it was just too short notice but quite honestly, they are coming in fast and furious already and I can't imagine trying to go to all.

Yet a simple no thanks doesn't seem enough.

So how do / did you manage it ?

You accept the ones you can make & say no thankyou to the ones you can't.
Why is no thanks not enough:huh:
I don't see what there is to get stressed about.

balletshoes

property.advert wrote: »

Your child is in a new school and with nigh on 30 kids in the class, the stark reality of a potential 20 plus weekend birthday invitations is dawning on you. How do you handle it ?

Already we've knocked back one as it was just too short notice but quite honestly, they are coming in fast and furious already and I can't imagine trying to go to all.

Yet a simple no thanks doesn't seem enough.

So how do / did you manage it ?

I can't say I've ever had a problem with this, even when my DD was in reception and year 1, when inviting the whole class of 30plus to your party was considered normal (not for us, though).

If my DD got an invitation, I'd check if we were free to take her, then ask her if she wanted to go. If we were and she did, she went. If either of the first 2 was a No, she didn't go, and we RSVPd saying she wasn't going. If I saw the parents in the school playground I'd say thanks for the invitation, and sorry she couldn't make it.

mum26

We are in the middle of getting rsvp's for our twins party next week, we've invited the whole class (under 20 children though ) as it's our two's first proper party and they have been invited to lots over the years, it's at an odd time as I booked it quite late so a few can't make it / don't want to travel at that time which is no problem at all, the main thing from my point of view is just getting an answer either way so I can plan party bags etc.

When one of mine can't make it to a friend's party we just let them know, if they are a close, good friend I may send them to school with a small present anyway but that is a rare occurance. As soon as they hit 9 parties get much smaller and it's the done thing to just have a few to go to the cinema etc.

the_cat

Most parents ask far more children than they would really like to attend because they don't want to leave some out/cause upset/make things difficult for their own child etc

I was always highly delighted if a few couldn't make it .........:o Was it just me then?

mrs_marty

My children are in very large classes too; and I quickly developed a plan of when the invite came in, I didn't say anything to my DD. Later on I would ask her, see such and such do you play with them much at school, if the answer was no then they didn't go to the party. My theory is they don't play often together then really they aren't that friendly. Then we just rsvp back a no.

I apply the same logic to my own children's parties that it's small and really only the children that they play with go to clubs etc with, so the last few years it has been small parties of 6 and attending the same back.