Protecting inheritance money?

worksmarter

Over the last year or so, my mother-in-law and sister-in-law have been putting increasing pressure on my wife to give them money.

Contrary to my wishes, my wife has given into (most) of their demands and has given thousands of pounds from our joint bank account, which we have managed to cover as we both have jobs (but no kids)

What I am really worried about now is that I will be receiving a bit of inheritance money following the death of one of my relatives and I am wondering what I should to to safeguard this money, without damaging our marriage?

Armchair23

I'd just put the money into a savings account, ISA or something similar that is in your name only.
If your wife objects you can say 'well the money was left to me by Aunty Irene, Grandad etc not to both of us,and I think it's what they would have wanted'.
You can always say well if we really need it for something we both need like a new car then I can always withdraw it.
Frankly if your wife is giving jointly earned money away without your consent, you'd be crazy to do anything else.

Tish_P

An ISA is a good idea. There's no such thing as a joint ISA as I understand it, so there could be no objection to its being in your name alone.

JC9297

Apart from the issue with your inheritance I think you have a big problem if your wife thinks it is OK to give your money to her family against your wishes and that's what you need to focus on, rather than just putting the money in a safe place.

onlyroz

Could you offset the money against your mortgage?

CapJ

Putting the inheritance in your own account is no problem just do it. As long as you tell your wife it exists then I can't see the problem. I would also suggest you make it clear to your wife that 1) You don't want other people knowing about it 2) You think your relative would have wanted you to spend the money on the two of you as a couple (or invent whatever purpose you want for the money). This might help mitigate problems in the future.

Separately you need to close all joint accounts with your wife. You need to agree who is paying what bills and where surpluses are going as well as how much spending money you each have. If you wife wants to give money to her mother and sister out of her spending money then fair enough. But at the moment that is not what she is doing and she has shown she can't be trusted with your money. She needs to earn that trust back - and you need to be clear with her about this.

If this doesn't work, i.e. if she gives more than spending money so you have to cover her / there is a savings shortfall, the next step is for you to manage her money, having her salary paid into your account with her spending money transferred into her account.

If she balks at one of the above steps you need to be talking marriage counselling and / or trial separation. I really think you have problems with your marriage if your wife has taken your money and given it to family against your wishes and if you don't resolve it, it will probably get worse. Mum and Sister know that your wife is now a soft spot and they can continue to leech money off her.

CH27

worksmarter wrote: »

Over the last year or so, my mother-in-law and sister-in-law have been putting increasing pressure on my wife to give them money.

Contrary to my wishes, my wife has given into (most) of their demands and has given thousands of pounds from our joint bank account, which we have managed to cover as we both have jobs (but no kids)

What I am really worried about now is that I will be receiving a bit of inheritance money following the death of one of my relatives and I am wondering what I should to to safeguard this money, without damaging our marriage?

Why are they pressuring her?
Are they struggling? Are they blackmailing her?
I would remove all your money from joint accounts & open new ones in your sole name.

Emmzi

who put the money *in* the joint bank account, you or the missus?

claire16c

why on earth is your wife doing this? You are worried about your marriage, yet she does not seem to be??

Jinx

In all honesty if my mum needed money and I had it then I would give it to her. And my hubby would understand if I needed to do so and it would come from the joint account as that is where our money lives. Even if he disagreed I would do it. We both work and fund the joint account.

If the wife is being taken for a ride then that is different. A serious chat with the wife is needed I would say.

NAR

Sounds like your wife has been letting slip about how well off you are to her mum and sister. Worst part of this is she is disrespecting you by giving the money away without your agreement.