my mum is taking in a guy she hardly knows...argh!

FatVonD

I'd be there to greet him on arrival with an 'I'm on to you' look in my eye.

Kay_Peel

I hope she has some inkling of what she's letting himself in for.

We've called him a 'lodger' but he probably sees himself as a guest who has been offered bed and board and other assistance to get him back on his feet. No wonder she says that they'll 'work something out moneywise'. :eek:

We've run through a few things already (community charge, tax, eviction, contracts etc) but has she thought that:
* She'll lose her space. She'll have to make room for when his children come to stay.
* larger utility and shopping bills when he's not in a position to contribute - he has two families and debts
* creditors knocking on the doors and a pile of mail landing on the doormat?

Next thing, she'll be 'lending' (or should I say giving him) money - if she hasn't already done so.

If she wants some company, there are plenty of decent and solvent people wanting lodgings. You must be tearing your hair out with the woman.

Nightmare and very, very sad.

Oblique

Probably best all round if the OP simply has the man killed.

AbbieCadabra

Kay, you've just mentioned some of the things i've literally just said to my hubbie! (well, i say 'said', it was more of a controlled scream ).

we've only just got our relationship on an even keel after a very drawn out mess involving someone who i thought i could trust taking advantage of my mum. & here we are again! :mad:

i had very strong words with mum last time & I thought she'd actually taken on-board the fact that she could be a little naive, gullible & had no idea when she was being manipulated. obviously not *sigh*.

i've got really upset this afternoon thinking about some of the stuff she's done since Dad died, it makes me so, so sad . i know Dad was very over-bearing, but for the love of god woman, why can't you see what this is doing to US - your only daughter is growing to dislike you more & more each time you do something without thinking about ANY of the consequences...

NhocCuteGirlUK

God forgive me, but alarm bells are going off. Personally I'd have visions of him trying to strike up a relationship with her and fleece her of all her money! Especially if he's in financial problems.



Have they drawn up an agreement about rent? She really should do this. If I were you, I'd try to advise her to do it all above board with stuff in writing.



You can't stop her from taking him in and he may be totally legitimate for all we know. But if she goes ahead, I'd be going round there often just to check that he's trustworthy in your eyes.

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Ames

I'm not going to be popular for saying this, but I think you're jumping to conclusions. If she's going on holiday on her own so often then she's not some little old lady who can't handle herself, she's obviously pretty independent.

And if he's responsible for groups of elderly people on holiday then he's obviously not just some layabout.

Why not keep an open mind and take it at face value - he needs somewhere to stay when he's not driving, and she has room. He's young enough to do things around the house and garden that she might be struggling with.

By all means keep an eye on things, but if you've never even met him how can you condemn him?

My dad's single and looking for someone, I wouldn't dare criticise him if he met someone in a 'normal' way (he's currently looking online for a Russian bride, which I have problems with), and I accept that it's his life and up to him to make mistakes and live with them. He's old enough to do that, and really it's none of my business. Even the Russian brides I haven't said anything against.

ailuro2

is there anyone else in the family who might need the space more - a young nephew who isn't getting on with his parents who could be given a bit of breathing space - that might make her feel needed, and give her an excuse to tell the driver she's sorry but the room isn't available just now.

Maybe she isn't intending on him being in the spare room very long - in which case any troubled nephews may end up running home to their parents toute de suite!!

I suggest you could print out an agreement for them both to sign - it protects him aswell, doesnt it? You and a nother neighbour could be the witnesses for it ( that lets a friendly neighbour know what's going on too)

Errata

That's all well and good Ames, but the bloke in question has two children by two different women, he's not living with either of them, is in financial difficulties and living with a mate hasn't worked out. So he's prepared to move in with an elderly woman he doesn't really know and apparently hasn't discussed his financial contribution to cover his running costs with her. Is it surprising that alarm bells are ringing?

Kay_Peel

Ah yes, Russian Brides - another way to part old fools from their money and bank account details. You might want to tell your Dad that the majority of Russian Bride websites are fronts for organised crime . The women who 'talk' to their prospective husbands are actually men. They've even used photos of Katie Price and Adele to attract the interest of men in the USA.

No wonder you're not happy about that Ames.

Ames

I don't think it's that kind of website since he's been out there a few times and met the women. They're just clearly looking for visas. As I said, I'm not happy about it but it's his life, I wouldn't let him tell me what to do so I've no right to tel him.

Ailuro - he holds down a responsible job, and sees as much of his kids as he can. We can only go on what the OP says and she's clearly biased. I just think it's unfair to have a witchhunt when not even the OP knows everything, she's never even met him. So how can she automatically say he's out to cause trouble etc?