Grrr Throwing in the towel...

clarab_3

I absolutely agree with the others. I must admit I've become quite evangelical about this since I started working on my debts a year ago, and the subject plain makes a lot of my friends uncomfortable... they want to shop! (So do I, but its not really an option!)

All you can do is be there for them when they ask for it.

melaniec_2

Hi Gemmzie

I've been following what you've been trying to do and I think you've done more than your fair share for your age and with exams and health problems on top. As others have said its for your parents to decide to sort themselves out.

look after yourself and don't be brave say if your having a bad day, its one of the hardest things to do - ask for help when you are trying to be independant but sometimes you need to.

Take care and don't worry.

anniestar

Hi hun, you are doing an amazing job, but like the saying goes you can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink................. look after yourself you have such a lot on your plate. I wanted to say how much I admire you and all you have done for your parents,but its now time for YOU. Good luck.

gallygirl

Here, try this.....

Sometimes you have to walk away, although it's hard. You've done what you can, put yourself first for a change.

And NO YOU ARE NOT EVEN PARTIALLY RESPONSIBLE!!!!!!!!

Moving out would probably be your best option - why not try college & see what they can offer you?

Chin up xx

Gemmzie

I definitely can't do it before October when I become a HE student. I need to clear my debt first or my parent's would be within their rights to demand payment in which case I'd lose my car and couldn't do anything.

Plus this summer I'm going into hospital for two weeks and then need six weeks after care so it isn't practical.

I can stick it out for nine months, then I think I'll have to.

Thanks again

ZTD

Gemmzie wrote:

I give up on my parents, I really do.

On the bright side - that's better than throwing up on them...

Gemmzie wrote:

They overspent on Christmas once I told them that all the budget had been spent. Took days, probably weeks stressing myself out sorting out a DMP plan for the next nine months which is tight but the only option.

And they both keep spending :mad:


I'm stressed out, have exams, have really overdue coursework and they just won't let me switch off. Besides that my health in in the toilet and has been for months and no-one ever bothers to ask, how are you feeling or even a bleeding thank you half the time.

So that's it, they can find the site and figure it out themselves. I can't do it anymore.

More seriously: A word of advice for you, or anyone else in your position. You can't save the world single-handedly.

Sometimes you can't even save yourself - but that's the place to start. Sort yourself out, with coursework/health/anything else, and just stand-by and watch while they race to the edge.

It will be hard to do, but you must take care of yourself and not interfere. If they blink before throwing themselves into the abyss, so come to you for help, you must not have depleted yourself by struggling with the impossible. Because then how can you help them?

If you are in no fit state to help them when they need and want it, then - and only then - will you have let them down.

You can't live their lives for them.

james32_uk

How are you feeling, Gemms?

Toomuchdebt

FWIW I think you're doing the right thing-you can't make them listen-you can only be prepared for them when they finally have their lightbulb moment-let's hope it's soon!Hope you're feeling better soon.

In_Search_Of_Me

aww big hugs as sounds like you have alot on your plate but seem to be getting there. As others have said you cant do it for them...unsure why you are unable to live without support but if you are happy to share confidentially I am happy to ask in work (I'm !!! mgr in a social services team) so can ask around for what you'd be eligble for in the way of services - pm if you're happy to...meanwhile well done for all you've done so far - you're doing really well & taking responsibiliy for your own actions & finances. The problem when you help others such as your parents is that it means they dont take responsibility for their own actions which hopefully now they will but it must be so hard to watch so my thoughts are with you. Must be soooooo frustrating!

Gemmzie

james23_uk wrote:

How are you feeling, Gemms?

Thanks James, that made me

Now why don't they care to ask


I sort of explained the main reasons behind being stuck at the moment. There's health issues to, but it's probably 40% financial.