Grrr Throwing in the towel...

Gemmzie

I give up on my parents, I really do.

They overspent on Christmas once I told them that all the budget had been spent. Took days, probably weeks stressing myself out sorting out a DMP plan for the next nine months which is tight but the only option.

And they both keep spending :mad:


I'm stressed out, have exams, have really overdue coursework and they just won't let me switch off. Besides that my health in in the toilet and has been for months and no-one ever bothers to ask, how are you feeling or even a bleeding thank you half the time.

So that's it, they can find the site and figure it out themselves. I can't do it anymore.

lynzpower

I think you are doing the right thing sugar.

Some people, just can only be helped when they actively want to do it. Youll learn this over time ( hey social work made me hard what can I say!)

You have enough on your own plate, you need to look after yourself first, otherwise youll be no use to anyone.

Hugs, its never easy giving up, but they are adults, they know what they need to do.

Lynz
xx

mjdh1957

Absolutely agree with Lynz... you can't have someone else's lightbulb for them.

Been there, tried that. But in my case it was partners instead of parents. I ended up making myself into a person I didn't like anymore (a real nag, in other words).

Leave them to it until they see the light themselves.

And then you can support them properly.

immoral_angeluk

completely agree... you can't help people that won't help themselves. concentrate on getting your health sorted and let them deal with their own problems..
*big hugs*

Snaggles

Hi Gemmzie, sorry you are having a hard time. I know it's hard to sit back and watch people you care about making a mess of their lives/finances/whatever, but unfortunately you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. You have done your very best, and that's all you can do.

Please take care of yourself, concentrate on your health and your coursework.

SunderlandBlackCat

Good for you Gemmzie

They have to want to help themselves & if they don't there's nothing you can do.

Take some time to look after yourself.

Gemmzie

Thanks all

I think it's why my brother is around less and less, he literally only sleeps here now and that's maybe twice or three times a week because it's easier for him to get to work.

I just feel partially responsible, aren't a lot of parent's debts down to their kids and overspending for them or on them?

I think I need to serious look at getting my own place for the new academic year. I can't really look after myself but I'm hardly getting the help at home anyway.

lynzpower

Gemmzie wrote:

Thanks all

I think it's why my brother is around less and less, he literally only sleeps here now and that's maybe twice or three times a week because it's easier for him to get to work.

I just feel partially responsible, aren't a lot of parent's debts down to their kids and overspending for them or on them?

No, parents debts, like ours are generally down to spending beyond thier means. Dont try to take repsonsbility for something that adults have chosen to do!! ( says Lynz )

I think I need to serious look at getting my own place for the new academic year. I can't really look after myself but I'm hardly getting the help at home anyway.

You cant really look after yourself - I think you have proven over the last few months youve got your head well and truly screwed on the right way. Dont underestimate yourself lady!!

Gemmzie

Thanks lynz but health wise I can't look after myself. I can't even prepare a meal without help and I certainly couldn't afford pre-cut veg etc.

lynzpower

Gemmzie wrote:

Thanks lynz but health wise I can't look after myself. I can't even prepare a meal without help and I certainly couldn't afford pre-cut veg etc.

Ok, well have you had an assessment from social services. I can chat it over with you on MSN if you want where theres will there WILL BE A WAY!

tinkerbell1978

sounds like me apart from its my big sister instead! i keep telling her what she should be doing and how she could make things better etc sending emails with budget plans etc on but nothing ever sinks in!!!!! sooo on the advice of my other sister she is obviously happy to continue like it and one day may realise its not good! but there is only so much advice and help you can give someone so now when she rings to say ohhh i feel really down i dont know what to do i just say well i have tried to help and i can do no more and change the subject i cant do all the work for her she has to do the main part herself and thats just a matter of time a waiting game till the penny drops! you will make yourself ill (more ill than you are now) if you carry their problems on top of your own! you have to think they are old enough to look after themselves! good luck! hugsx