Advice on CSA please... long story

FBaby

I don't understand. You say you've set up an account that you pay money into. Why? Why not stop this and use this money for transport?

lindsaygalaxy

Surely if you felt the child was being neglected you would move him in now for his own safety, exams or not (which he could sit anywhere). Sorry but I get really annoyed when people come on here saynig he/she is denying me access. Unless there has been something serious going on then there is no reason a court wouldnt grant you access, before court would be mediation where both parties could talk. He is 15 not a little child I am sure if he wants to see his father he would be happy for this. As for the CSA payments, they will re look at the payments if you send them revised accounts. £100 a week! Unlikely unless you are buying him loads of things while with you. You say in the divorce she got everything, which you clearly are not happy with, but that was your partners choice, she didnt force him and he could have gone for half. I sense you may be getting played by the son who seems to be sneaking around being his mums back and you paying secret money to him.

clearingout

confused.net wrote: »

CSA payments should be made as food vouchers or vouchers for school uniform.. if they are for the child then the mother wouldnt have a problem with it would they.

Yes, because ALL single mothers are second class citizens who should be wearing identification on the outside of their clothing so we can all see who they are and laugh and point.

Child maintenance covers far more than food and uniform. I have every empathy with what sounds like a difficult situation but to tar everyone with the same brush is not acceptable.

PreludeForTimeFeelers

clearingout wrote: »

Yes, because ALL single mothers are second class citizens who should be wearing identification on the outside of their clothing so we can all see who they are and laugh and point.

Child maintenance covers far more than food and uniform. I have every empathy with what sounds like a difficult situation but to tar everyone with the same brush is not acceptable.

As ClearingOut has said, child maintenance payments cover a variety of things, not just food and school uniforms, so a voucher scheme just wouldn't work.

Fiver29

confused.net wrote: »

The next door neighbours confirm that she comes home drunk at 2am every morning and other friends we still have in the town. We have also witnessed it ourselves, her fighting outside pubs drunk at 10pm at night. The neighbours have reported her to Police on occaisions.

CSA payments should be made as food vouchers or vouchers for school uniform.. if they are for the child then the mother wouldnt have a problem with it would they.

And no we havnt heard it from the boy himself.

So you have long chats with the next door neighbour? Okay right!!!

Fiver29

confused.net wrote: »

Thanks for all your replies. It would seem that whilst the resident parent has the control over the child and the way the money is spent then there will never be an easy way out of this. The NRP will always be the bad guy and milked for whatever he can.

The question why cant the boy live with us now is because he is due to sit his exams shortly so would be unfair to move him.

Once he is 16 things would be different.. I wonder if once the mother then becomes the NRP whether the comments would be the same if she had to pay us lol.

:rotfl::rotfl: In your dreams.

confused.net

Seems there are a lot of people on here who have too much time on their hands and are easy to judge people. I think we used to call them keyboard warriors. I came on here asking for advice, of which I havnt received, just a bunch of small minded people who are quick to judge and are obviously very bitter about their own experiences.

No I am not bitter about what she got, she wont keep it long the mortgage company are already chasing her for arrears and as for the boy playing us... well Im sorry but very sheltered lives you lead.

I came here for advice and all I got was caught up with bitter resident parents.

Not one of you has stopped and actually read what I have asked and come back with any advice, all you have done is have a go

I bid you farewell

clearingout

who has judged you? we have offered you an alternative view - we may be right, we may be wrong. We doubt that you know exactly what the mother is up to, just how often she is out getting drunk or 'putting it about'. We have suggested that the child himself may be playing you and mum off one another and doing it rather successfully. We do not doubt your integrity or that you believe what you have told us, despite the fact that you have insulted all the single mothers here who work their socks off and receive no maintenance whatsoever from their ex (often, as is the case in my case, supported by their new partner to do so).

It is not really clear what advice you want. If you want to lower your maintenance payments, make sure that the CSA is up to date with the situation and that they take into account travel costs and the fact that you have the child overnight. If push comes to shove, at 16, it is highly unlikely that mum could do much about the child not visiting you if he wanted to - the only real way she could prevent that would be to lock him in the house, surely? At 16, if he wants to live with his dad, there is nothing a court will do to prevent that.

PreludeForTimeFeelers

confused.net wrote: »

Not one of you has stopped and actually read what I have asked and come back with any advice, all you have done is have a go

I posted further up - maintenance would go down by 2/7ths if the boy is staying over for 2 nights per week.

ses6jwg

As a male NRP, I'm afraid I cannot understand why he has not been to court over contact personally. It would have, and has been, my first priority.