GUTTED - Need a shoulder to cry on

bank_of_slate

Oh babe,
sending you hugs galore!
Have you got friends or family that you could confide in?

Do you think he was just being defensive when he was shouting at you? What exactly does he expect you to do?
...Linda xx

bank_of_slate

*BUMPING THIS BACK UP COS YOU NEED LOADS OF SUPPORT RIGHT NOW*
...Linda xx

angelavdavis

Sorry to hear about your probs.

Why do we all shout at the ones we love the most when we are down??

I hope things get better for you.:grouphug:

Give yourself a break and sit down for a minute and think what you have achieved to date. Some real achievements!

You can always phone Relate for some support, it might help to face someone that doesn't know you personally so you can offload.

I think the online shop is a great idea!!!

Hope things get better. xx

lynzpower

i cant remember who it is but someone on here has as thier sig

"love me when I deserve it the least, its when I need it the most"

I absolutely love that, and i think its just so fitting for lifes ups & downs.

Maybe put a little note in his pocket or send him this in a text and start trying to rebuild. things ARE tough, and relationships can feel like a "stand off" at times, but all relationships can be measured against is how well you ride out the tough times. Its easy in the happy times, but dire in the sad. I speak with experience here

Sending love to you
Lynz
x

dfwz

To add to what to lynzpower said, I find that my stress levels and worries are in synch with my wifes. When I feel at my worst I provide her with the attention and love I'm needing myself. Sometimes just doing that is all I need sometimes she reciprocates and everybody wins.

Haughley_Harridan

Hey there darling

Big hug first of all. Isn't being pregnant hell?!

Just to say that moving to a little village is quite scary to begin with. Have you got a local shop/post office in either your village or the next? Perhaps you could put up a little postcard for doing ironing or sewing or something - just to earn an extra £20 a week. A lot of people round here do this (deepest rural Suffolk) and a lot of people who have full time jobs love people to come and collect their ironing. Suggest that this might be an easy way to make a few pounds a week until the baby comes and then you can get a real crack on your crafts business.

With regard to the crafts business, there should be a rural crafts association for your area - try seeing if you can find one on the internet. Also see if you can get into any local markets, either farmers' or town, on Saturdays (when OH is home to look after the new baby and Tash) - stalls should not be that expensive (I usually pay between £15 and £20 per day). There are a lot of big shows and things you can focus on later in the year - if you want to PM me, I can probably put you on the right track.

Suggest you just get on and have the baby first but it never hurts to make a few plans!

xx

mrslawrence2003

hi morningmummy,

big hugs to you - you sound as if you are having a really tough time at the mo. i just wanted to say that altho this stuff has happened since you moved, at the time you both made the best decision that you could for you and your family. there was no way you could have known that what has now happened was going to happen. it's happened, it's !!!!, but you can't change it. this is now your situation, and you need to try and look to the future, not feel sad about what could have been if you'd stayed.

i guess you and your hubby are both under an awful lot of stress, and are feeling really bad that you've made a decision that hasnt seemed to work out so well. people have different ways of dealing with stress and negative emotions. perhaps your hubby finds it easier at the mo to forget whats happened when he's working away from you, but when he returns to you, he cant ignore how unhappy you are and how things havent worked out the way you'd both hoped.

i have no easy solution for you. but try and hold onto your love for each other and your soon-to-be new arrival. things are tough right now, but they won't always be. you will make new friends, settle in and most likely be able to get going with your arts and crafts. it sounds a bit like you might be harbouring some blame and resentment towards each other as things havent worked out. this is only natural, and is human nature. but pls try to talk about it and get past it cos otherwise it could end up destroying you and your relationship.

you've got a fresh new start and your future is bright. just believe in it.

HokeyCokey_3

Hello,

I think DFWZ has hit the nail on the head with this. He is giving your husbands perspective on things. I really understand what you are going through, however I think you have got to take control of this situation.
You are incredibly vunerable at the moment...pregnant, have a 3 year old to look after, being expected to keep the house running, trying to bring in extra money, dealing with an unappreciative husband. This is not good, it's just constant stress for you and your baby.

However you have to be a strong woman. You need support and it sounds like your husband does too. As far as his job is concerned, you can't stew over how things could have been, you have to deal with how things now are. Good things will come around again. I believe everything is for a reason. We are faced with difficulties sometimes in our lives, but this is what makes us stronger. You must keep positive and think about the good things in your life.

Have you considered going to stay with a close relative for awhile? Sometimes, it is good to get away and look at things from the outside. It may also be good to just look after yourself for awhile and let others make a fuss of your 3 year old.

I hate to say it, but when your husband does come home, I think you may have to put on a bit of a front, for the time being, even if you are not feeling particularly good. Show interest in his life and make an effort for when he comes home...for example, run him a nice bath, make him a nice dinner etc etc. He is probably stressed too and just needs to chill out when he gets home. I expect if you make a little more effort, he will be A LOT more supportive, and you need his support right now.

I seem to remember in your previous post, you mentioning about still suffering with sickness. You shouldn't be suffering with this. It normally indicates your body is rejecting food because it contains things the body doesn't want. Make sure all your food is fresh and contains no preservatives or additives. Snack regularly - like every 1 to 2 hours. Make sure you are taking your vitamins and perhaps seek professional advice from a nutritionist.

I just had another thought, about your little girl. Maybe it would be an idea for you both to make a cake or something nice, for when her daddy gets home from work. This will teach her that sometimes you have to look after other people when they are unhappy/stressed and will also bring their bond back together again. Maybe make your hubby feel guilty for his outburst in front of her yesterday...

Good luck and keep positive...your baby will be here soon!