How can I approach neighbour...

merlin68

I'd feel safer if they went together. But then I wouldn't dream of sending a 9 yeear old to the shop on their own anyway.

borokat

I would just tell the neighbour you don't think DD is ready for the responsibility of taking her DD to shops, and you would hate for something like the kids to fall out while they are on their way there and one to run off, for example.
I think your DD is old enough to be going to the shops on her own, so I wouldn;t worry about that.

Dave101t

i wouldnt want my kids hanging around scrotes, dont feel bad.

nottslass_2

Part of letting a child spread their wings and gain independence is teaching them that they have to be responsible for their own actions and safety.

I understand that you don't want you DD to be responsible for anyone else's child,but you DD has to understand that with the privilege of being allowed to the shop comes with conditions and if going on her own is one of your rules she needs to learn that she perhaps she need to lean to say " sorry I can't wait while you ask your mum/ go home for money and my mums says I've got to go on my own and come straight back".

Kay_Peel

Interrupt the routine. Next week, your child won't go to the shops on her own.

minimoneysaver

It's a non starter. It's up to the neighbour if they let their child out and if she happens to walk with your child, there isn't anything you can do about it. To be honest, I wouldn't be letting a child of that age go out to the shops on their own, so it wouldn't be an issue.

onlyroz

merlin68 wrote: »

I'd feel safer if they went together. But then I wouldn't dream of sending a 9 yeear old to the shop on their own anyway.

Really? At that age I was allowed to go to the next village on my own. Also, me and my friend often had her younger brother tagnalong, but I don't recall worrying about the responsibility.

jjblondie

I don't think it is responsibilty your daughter is being given; surely it's normal for friends to go to the shops together?

On a side note my parents were really weird: I was allowed to go to the library/next town/shops on my own from about 7, but never ever allowed to play with the children on the street outside as that was dangerous

geoffky

Some people love to wreck and control young kids lives.
When i was a kid i was a wanderer and spent all day out in the woods and fields close to wildlife and loved it...
When i got married my wife would not let our eldest daughter out of her sight and she had to get mum to cross her over the road at the age of 9.
Then comes along daughter no2 and she is also a wonderer and loves to go out of her area and the freedom i gave her and insisted on having seen what it did to our first daughter is amazing..
The confidence levels are worlds apart and has a totally different outlook on life at the same age.
please give your children freedom to wonder and explore the area they live in as i feel you really hold your kids back if you keep one hand on the reigns..
My wife still panics but can see the difference herself ,
The oldest daughter has talked about this and embarrasses my wife with tales of close protection..

meritaten

at age 9 I had to take my 3 yr old bro EVERYWHERE with me! mum used to send me to the shop - bro tagged along. playing with my friends - bro tagged along. but, my friends also had their siblings with them - it was the way things were in the fifties and early sixties! mums were busy doing housework and the oldest child ALWAYS had the littlies with them! we hated it tbh - but its just the way things were and we couldnt change it. nowadays, well I am not sure its for the best! children seem to be brought up in a bubble - I think it makes them selfish and self absorbed. Us older kids looked out for the little ones - we knew everyones sibling and god help anyone who bullied them! they would get the wrath of older sister and her friends upon them! We grew up self reliant (we had to be - we were left to our own devices all day) and looked out for each other.
I think it would do no harm for your dd to take this other child to the shop! whats wrong with her feeling responsible for other people? especially younger ones? do you WANT her to grow up feeling dissasociated from others?
My neices love to take responsibility for their young cousins - they love to feel 'grown up and in charge'. in turn the younger ones learn to trust them. it makes for great family and friend dynamics!