Returning to work after bereavement of my husband

Sambucus_Nigra

ILW wrote: »

I would go back full time, a busy day at work will help stop you pondering on the bereavement and may be theraputic.

You would, but the OP has already said they don't feel ready at the moment so a phased return is probably going to be best for her.

TeaForOne

Firstly, I am sorry for your loss.

Do ring your employer again. Maybe use texting to arrange a phone call appointment. From experience, I can say it is daunting dealing with a bereaved employee. One is afraid of saying the wrong thing - being too cold, or too emotional, or generally making a dreadful situation worse. Of course you can't be responsible for how he feels, but understanding that he's probably floundering, rather than being inappropriate, may help you open the conversation.

Also, try to make sure your GP is quite specific on the fit note e.g. recommending a 4 week phased return starting with 8 hours for the first week and working up. With my staff I generally go for.

Week 1 - Thurs & Fri 4 hours a day (8h)
Week 2 - M/T/T/F 4 hours a day with Wednesday off to rest (16h)
Week 3 - M/T/T/F 6 hours a day with Wednesday off to rest (24h)
Week 4 - 6 hours every day (30h)
Week 5 - back up to 37.5 hours

In my experience it works, and is well worth the investment. You may prefer to be kept busy every day and be in for a shorter length of time but the principle is the same.

Hope it goes well for you.

SarEl

Having been in a similar position myself I am very sympathetic to your position - but can I correct a fallcy that has grown up here? You have no right at all to a phased return to work. The GP can recommend it, but neither they nor you can dictate the terms of a phased return. If the employer agrees it - and many employers would, but that is different from them having to - then the terms of a phased return are negotiable and dictated by business need. In other words, it is down to the employer to agree what hours suit them. You can certainly suggest what might be suitable, but you cannot insist and neither can the GP. It would therefore be a good idea to discuss this with your employer, saying that you would like a phased return and see how they feel about it, and what might suit them. They may be totally open to anything you suggest - but it is better to put the ball in their court first and ask, rather than tell. They are more likely to be open to suggestions if they don't feel that they are being told how to run their business. They are more likely to be amenable to being flexible in the future too, should you want to either increase or decrease your hours as you disciver how you are coping.