Chore lists/everyone mucking in

Merry_Wanderer

I don't have kids, but I grew up in a family of 4 kids, and nothing was negotiated, it was just expected that we all live in the house and we all chip in with the house and garden. We weren't paid our pocket money for doing it, we were expected to do what we were told for free, just as an adult you have to make the bed or take the bin our for unpaid. Such is life. We did get pocket money for sweets or a comic most weeks, but if we didn't, everything else went on as usual. Also, we had to buy any presents saved from our pocket money, which was not much! So we had to get creative, and would make things for people without being told to, because unless we were saving every penny from summer it just wasn't gonna happen.

Now, my 3 brothers are grown, all can run a house and cook from scratch, and even when students wouldn't think of buying a readymeal. None of them expect a wife or GF to take over from a mum, which can be common amongst boys who get everything done for them.

So, no tips from me, just to say I think it's a very good thing for kids to get involved in the day to day running of the household.

craftdaft

DD only 2 so we haven't started with chores yet. When I was younger my sister & I did dishes three times a week each. The house was split into three areas and on Saturdays the areas where shared out between mum, sister and me. It had to be done otherwise we didn't get our pocket money. We didn't grudge or complain about it as it only took an hour and all of us were doing it (except Dad who was working in his office).

Pink.

Hi lil_me,

During term time housework, cooking and chores are shared between the (three) adults in our family as both boys leave for school at 7.30am and are rarely home before 6.00pm, due to after school activities. Then they need to eat, do homeworks and have some time to themselves so I think that adding more than the expected make your bed in the morning, keep your room generally tidy and help clear the table after dinner would be unreasonable.

During school holidays it's a different matter. Every other day I set a timer for half an hour and expect the whole family to pitch in. This is unpaid and not optional and it's amazing how much clearing up/cleaning and tidying a family of five can achieve in that time.

For jobs I don't want to do I'm willing to pay £2 - £4 an hour to a teen...the price I pay depends on how much I don't want to do the job myself and is always agreed in advance so that they know what they're earning.

These earlier threads may help you to decide what is right for your family:

Allocating housework amongst family - does this work for anyone?

Children and helping around the house.

How much do your kids do around the house?

I'll add your thread to the first link once you've had more advice to keep the ideas together.

Pink

egbjcb

Hi,
I have two sons (16 and 14) they have their jobs every day my youngest empties the dishwasher and feeds the cats and the eldest lays and puts the table away before and after tea and takes the rubbish to the bins, they also take it in turns to mow the lawns and have to put all their washing out everyday and put it away (I put it in a basket in their rooms) also strip and make their beds when I wash them... for all that they get £20 a month into a bank account which they have a card for and also some money into their savings (which they have no access to)

YORKSHIRELASS

I have tried systems of having lists for chores and appropriate rewards but to be honest making it all too structured just seems to cause more hassle for everyone.

My kids are 10 and 12. They are expected to keep their own rooms tidy, including occasional hoovering and dusting, changing their beds, putting their dirty laundry in the wash and their clean laundry in their drawers. Everyone is expected to help clear the table and if I ask the kids to do anything else I expect it done straight away, no arguments.

Each of my kids also has a fold away storage box. Anything I find belonging to them when I tidy up goes in their box, I then put the box in their rooms and expect them to empty it into the appropriate place.

On a Friday morning I do a bedroom inspection and if its tidy they get £2 to spend on whatever they want. They also get £1.50 a week paid into their bank account. I may give them a bit extra for washing the car, helping with the gardening or whatever but we dont have a set rule on this.

I always say to the kids that its the little things that make the difference. If everyone always picks up after themselves, doesnt leave cups and plates lying around, puts their own shoes away etc then it makes a whole world of difference.

Gingerbiscuit_2

Im one of 4 but we always seemed to do loooooads around the house, being the oldest I am sure I got the hard end! We were expected to cook/wash up/table every day at weekend we got a list to do so like

*Hoover living room and hallway, dust/polish living room empty bin
*Clean bathroom and hoover stairs and landings
*Do dishes, wipe over all counters, mop floor plus extra like clean out fridge or cultery draw


Plus going shopping, running erands, putting laundry out to dry in/ironing by 14, and of course keeping rooms tidy (never did get hang of that one) and helping when needed gardening etc. Still I am glad I learnt skills of basic housekeeping amazing how many friends went off to uni not knowing one end of mop to another or how to clean the bath.If they have 15min worth of jobs once a week on top of odd dishwashing its enough to learn how to keep home tidy and can get quite alot done in the meantime.

rachbc

Pocket moeny and jobs are seperate in this house - he does jobs because everyone needs to help the house hold run smoothly. He got pocket money to learn to budget and stop asking for handouts -however he couldn't really manage it so thats under review at the mo.

My ds is 13 - he sets and clears the dining table for breakfast and dinner, makes his own packed lunch, tidies his room and brings down his laundry. He has just started wearing proper shirts so will have to iron those as I don't do ironing!

Totally agree with them taking care of their own stuff - shoes have t be put away, bags in room, coat hung up, plates and glasses into kitchen etc etc just stops the mess ever getting unbearably bad!

4 year old has to tidy her room (with help/ enocurag,ment) and clear any plates/ glasses and hang up her coat. She often helps ds with setting the table too

l33na

dd(9) and ds(8) both ensure their rooms are kept clean. am a fluttering flybaby so made them a list last yr for their bedrooms-basic every day things like clothes on pegs, make bed and 1 extra item a day like * clear windowsills
* empty bins
*take laundry down etc

The list is long gone but the habits have sort of stuck in that if
I say I will be checking if the rooms are clean later, they do a mad dash of the things that were on the original list.
come saturday if DH sees the bedrooms in a mess they lose xbox or pc time on sunday.

They both set the table for dinner. and then put the washed dishes away( I am the DW in the house).
They help sort the laundry and help put all ironing away.

They are too young to iron or cook and I sometimes think I wont let them as I still burn myself with the iron and everyday I seem to have a plaster on my fingers as i knicked it on the knife whilst chopping veg etc.:o

lil_me

Thanks for all the replies so far really interesting & I'll look a those threads thanks PW

QueenB.

My two boys are 10 and 12 and the 12 year old also has autism.

They have always grown up knowing that they are expected to help around the house to a degree.

I have a small list of daily tasks (prefer this word to chore seems to work better) that they both have to do and it has become part of their routine, which is great for my 12 year old.

They are responsible for making sure their school uniforms are hung up and school bags are clean and ready for the next day. they do this as soon as they come home from school.

They are responsible for keeping their room tidy and putting clothes away( with some supervision) plus putting away any toys when they have finished with them. They put their clothes in the laundry basket at night and we all do the dishes together, i wash 10 year old dries and 12 year old puts what he can away.

They take it in turns to give the cats bicuits in the morning and put out the recycling.

At the weekend they help me dust, especially their room and they help me do the garden, 10 year old particulary likes helping me with the vegtables.

At the moment i am slowly teaching them how to take off their bedding once a week (this can be tricky for 12 year old due to other phyiscal needs but he is doing well) plus they help me sort out washing into piles.

In my opinion i believe that everyone in a house needs to help out as we all make the mess, plus i want my sons to be independent and capable men, this is especially important for my autistic son who needs these life skills if he has any chance of having some independence as an adult.

If they do a job particulary well a have a token scheme ( i also use this in other ways such as rewarding good behaviour or rewarding a school achievement). These tokens are just slips of paper on which i write their name and the reason they are being awarded, the tokens are then placed in a box and they are counted up on sunday evening.

The winner gets a small inexpensive prize, maybe even extra computer time ( a favourite reward for my 12 year old) and reading the tokens helps them to see all the positive things they have achieved that week.

They both get excited about the token scheme and it makes things a bit more fun for them.

I find that by making the tasks part of a routine, and explining why it is necessary plus throwing the odd bonus in there seems to work. Without this little bit of help my home would be in utter chaos due to me and my OH having 3 full time jobs between us plus me studing for a MA, on top of all the demands of parenthood/life.