Chore lists/everyone mucking in

lil_me

I'm wondering what others get their children to help with around the home. I'm not wanting to judge anyone or anyone to be judged but my boys want to help however need very structured requests thanks to autism so they want a list. I went to write one and couldn't think what to add to it. Also if they get a reward how much, they don't currently get pocket money etc

I need everyone to pull their weight a little more at home if my studying is to be any sort of success this year so any advice welcome

DS1 is 10 he can and does already use the washer and dryer if I ask him to. He's much more motivated than the 12 year old

Thanks

VJsmum

Oooh, i don't think i can be much help but wouldn't mind advice on this either.

My DD is 15 and DS is 12. They do get monthly pocket money and for that have to occasionally empty the dishwasher, put their laundry away and strip and remake their beds when i wash the linen. DD gets a bit more as she takes on babysitting duties for DS after school 2 days a week and occasional nights out.

DD gets £35 a month and DS gets £25 a month. Out of that they have to buy friend's presents or any extra thing - pictures if they fancy it with mates or additional clothing over and above what i think is reasonable.

DD gets paid extra if she does the ironing. DS if he cleans car for example.

I think, though, that they should do a bit more round the house to be included in their pocket money. But what would be reasonable? Empty dishwasher always, in turn? Hang washing out? OH thinks they shouldn't do any more cos he didn't have to whereas my mum was ill when i was young and i had 3 younger brothers and sister and i had to do a lot.

I'd be really interested in what others do.

poppy-glos

hi
dd(9) helps when asked, and occasionally offers to do the washing up, but no formal structure here. I tried a list of chores with money attached to them, but dd got bored and that stopped.
Watching supernanny i feel we should start again, but i'm not a flylady so know i wouldn't keep up with her chores if i can't keep up with my own.


Occasionally i will offer her 20p if she sorts the washing and puts one load into the machine.
If she does something then asks for money i'm very clear it needs to be negotiated first.

She often lays the table (cutlery, drinks) ready for dinner, she helps towards making dinner once a week(weighing/chopping), she can peg out clothes but bored after about six pieces, she hoovers sometimes, she loves wiping down the doors with a damp cloth, or doing the tiles/lino on hall/kitchen floor (using wet floorcloth pushed around the floor with her foot, like my gran used to do).
She also likes dusting and does the mantle piece sometimes.

dancing_in_the_rain

I have a 15yr DD and 12yr old DS both do very little around the house and even getting them to bring their dirty washing down to the laundry basket is a battle.

Both do get pocket money weekly DD get £10 and DS gets £5.

I'd love them to do more around the house and have recently taking to getting them both to empty the dishwasher, strip and make their beds. Although I think both should be doing a lot more although between working mum guilt and thinking its faster to do it myself than spend the time arguing with them I still seem to be doing most things

BitterAndTwisted

I think kids of 10 and 12 can be expected to keep their own rooms tidy, put their dirty laundry out for washing and push a vacuum-cleaner round now and then. If you can get them to put their own clean washing away and change their own beds it would be bonus. The most help, and what is hardest to describe on their lists is to tidy up after themselves and not leave shoes and clothes all over the place for others to fall over.

greenbee

I remember having different jobs in the term time and holidays. Term time I wasn't expected to do much in the mornings apart from get myself uo, dressed and ready for school without too much hassle! I was expected to make my own bed (or strip it on the relevant day)' help get breakfast and put my dirty dishes in the DW. Sometimes I'd be asked to feed the cat or chickens or walk the dog. After school I would be expected (as well as doing my homework, obviously!) to help with supper - including laying the table, chopping veg, loading/unloading the DW and washing up/clearing up the kitchen. As for laundry, dirty stuff went in the basket in the bathroom or it wasn't washed. Clean stuff was put on our beds and had to be put away by bedtime. We were expected to keep our rooms tidy enough to be cleaned by whoever was doing the cleaning on any given day.

At weekends and in the holidays we were expected to help with laundry/ironing, mowing/gardening, and all meals - if you didn't cook you either laid the table or cleared up. In the holidays we also made lunch so that it was ready when my mother got home from work. Extra jobs for cash included car washing and cleaning windows. I remember my brother doing my mowing one summer in return for me sewing his name tapes onto his uniform!

MaggieBaking

I never had a chore list as such, or pocket money.

My husband, when he hit his teenage years used to "earn" £5 a week if he cleaned his room once a week (and keep it reasonable during the week too). He had to tidy, sort out his clothes and dust everywhere. He has a much better attitude towards tidiness, and finance than I do!

Perhaps you could do a reward chart? Stickers or something similar for helping out each day with chores such as filling the dishwasher, laying the table, hoovering, washing the towels, mopping the floor, cleaning the car together (you could make daily and weekly tasks). Once they hit 30 stickers or ticks, they can get a reward - like a trip out bowling, or a meal out of their choosing etc.

I think the main thing is to give them something that's a bit of a stretch for them. It wont be perfect but you'll have to bite your tongue, pretend it's brilliant and they'll soon improve naturally. My mother's high standards just wound me up and I felt nothing I did was good enough, which wasn't encouraging me to help out more!

lala1974

I work with some parents of teens. What has proven successful is to get the teen to think about something that they'd like to buy that parents would view as far to expensive. They then print a picture of the thing they want and cut it into pieces. Then get a chore list for the week and whenever they complete the week the parent puts up money towards the item and the teen sticks one of the pieces together. By the time the picture is stuck back together the parent will have saved enough to buy the item the teen wanted.

The number of pieces the item is cut into depends on the cost of the item and how much the parent is able to put aside every week. We find that it shows the teen they can reward themselves if they save up instead of spending it on just "stuff".

Perhaps give the teen some money and save some for them.

Just a suggestion

valk_scot

My two are 15 (boy) and almost 10 (girl)

On a day to day basis they're expected to make their own beds, put dirty laundry into washing basket, put clean laundry away (I leave it dry and folded on their beds), empty the dishwasher & feed the cats first thing in the morning (they take turns), clear the table after a meal including scrape dishes and put them in the dishwasher. They're also expected to clear up their own debris in the main area of the house ie no toys, comics, plates, wet towels etc left lying around for me to pick up for them. They both help out with cooking now and again...DS can make full meals, DD is still at the chopping etc stage though she can turn out 5 dozen rock buns for the rugby club when required.

On a weekly basis they're expected to keep their rooms passably tidy and hoover once per week.

On an individual basis DD sweeps and washes the main stairs for me once a week, DS is expected to help carry rubbish and laundry downstairs to the bin/utility room, shopping and laundry up again. DS is also in charge of the recycling.

None of the above gets extra pocket money, but if it's not done there may be the odd fine! Am I mean? Not really. They're going to have to do a lot more than the above for themselves when they move out, aren't they? Anyway I wasn't put on this planet to run myself ragged while two healthy kids lie on the sofa and watch.

Extra chores that earn pocket money? Cutting the grass, washing the cars, hoovering the inside of the cars, anything else that I can think of at the time. They also help out at the allotment from time to time but only major chores earn money, like the time DS dug the pond for me, or DD picked two carrier bags of dandelion heads. (For dyestuff.) Also when I was doing a Summer School course for a week DS took over all the shopping and cooking, so got paid for that.

How much pocket money btw? DS gets £5 per week plus £20 per month into his bank account. DD gets £2 per week plus £10 into her account. That covers sweets, comics, games, presents for other people, fancy clothes I refuse to buy, trips up town (for DS) etc. If they do a paying chore I hand over the money in hard cash. They like it better that way!

babyshoes

I don't have kids myself, but I do wish now that I had been expected to do some regular chores as a child (as much as I would have HATED it at the time) - I grew up in a country where a maid was standard, so never got into the habit of cleaning and tidying, just the odd 'big' tidy up during the school holidays. I really struggle with it now, and had no idea how to iron anything when I first moved out! Also had to work out hoovering, washing up etc from first principles.

Luckily I we were taught to cook in school (as well as the basics of nutrition), and I learned a lot from my grandmother too, so I can at least cook a nutritious meal, even if the rest of the flat is a mess!

JulieGeorgiana

My DS9 used to have a few chores (Tidy his room, make bed etc) and he earned £2 on inspection (once a week), with 20p taken off for each thing out of place. This worked really well when he was younger (6 & 7)

Then we went onto, each time he did something I asked him to do he got a stone, each stone was 10p and at the end of the month he got £8 - £10 normally (He was 8)

Now since I got pregnant and got so sick I faint on standing DH and DS do most the chores. So he has to tidy his room, make his lunch (DH makes his sandwiches) and get read for school. Extra chores are open the curtains and every second day he puts the washing on (took me a week to teach him how to seperate the whites from darks and put the machine on without overfilling it), he then takes down the dry washing for me to fold.

On the weekend we write a list of chores to be done during the week, and depending on if DH is out or not we all volunteer for chores (DS loves this) and if DH is out he'll be responsible for the feeding of animals, and even likes to help DH with the washing-up!

However, if we just ask him to feed the animals it is always a big issue!

yesterday DS made cupcakes and cleaned up after, and the day before he made pancake batter for scotch pancakes and had us cook them up...

His reward is family time, £10 a month and a treat if he tries his best (Last month we bought him a £10 book he wanted, this month he wants mega burgers and COTC which will cost me £5)!

It may seem like a lot, but DS9 get's to choose all his chores and enjoys helping and volunteering (making a weekly list stops him getting bored) and this weekend he's sweep and wash floors and hoover and get's upset if he's told to play instead! Wonder how long this'll last

I hope somewhere in there it gives you a few ideas

Ps. he also get's £10 a month from my ex, he has to pay for mobile phone credit, 50% of school day trips, 50% of cubs exersions, gifts and any extras he wants. He also has to always have £10 in his wallet for NEEDS if he wants to spend on WANTS. He's very OS