Maintenance payments.... what should they cover ?

Broken_hearted

I would think it sfould be for food, clothes, equiptment needed and so on. Each parent should pay half the costs.

ailuro2

Is there a school uniform shop where they live- he could buy vouchers for there so it has to be spent there.

How is there dinner money paid- does the school have a card scheme where money can be creditted- he could do that direct to make sure they get the money too.

I do not know what CSA money is meant to cover.

findingmyownway

Caz312 wrote: »

Just found this whilst searching for the same answer as partner currently having same issue with ex

2 children 12+14 both senior school
Ex's partner and his 2 children moved in with her so 2 adults, 4 teenagers in the house
my partner pays £475 per month CM
his ex claims benefits as a single parent (HB, CTC etc) - says can't find a job despite 'looking' for 18 months. Now saying as youngest is getting into bother at school means she can't/won't get a job.

Children live 500 miles away so all travel costs - him traveling south or bringing them north paid by him (approx another £200 per month)
Up till recently he was paying a voluntary SM of £325 pm also however this impacted that affordability to see his children, and the fact she was cohabitting meant this was stopped to allow him to afford to see his children more often.
She has been on the phone today asking for £4 each per day for school dinners and money for uniform. She plays on his conscience as the last poster says but it is frustrating that she expects 100% of the child costs to come from the father or government and is not prepared to contribute herself. She is a heavy drinker and smoker and he guesses that is where much of the CM goes!

She also makes a big point in spending £100s for the childrens b/days and xmas (new laptops, expensive mobiles, dvd players etc), making her such a wonderful monther in their eyes where he is seen as mean (they obviously don't realise where her 'income' comes from)

How can he get the message through about 'extras' having to be budgetted for without all out war?

Thats a million dollar question i'd love to find the answer to!

My OH pays voluntary maintainance (faaaar more than the CSA would ever take as he is SE.). On top of that he and ex usually split the clothes and uniform bills (or one buys coats and one shoes etc) pretty evenly. Same for expensive school trips etc. Obvisouly as the extras are cash-in-hand she gets all the benefits etc without taking into account a vast portion of her income - and then can afford to buy the girls stupidly expensive presents (im talking 3 new PAYG mobile phones a year for an 11 yr old!). One of them said this weekend that mummy had just ordered them lots of new clothes for over £300 (apparently from littlewoods so i assume its on one of her many storecards )

Spendless

Caz312 wrote: »

Just found this whilst searching for the same answer as partner currently having same issue with ex

2 children 12+14 both senior school
Ex's partner and his 2 children moved in with her so 2 adults, 4 teenagers in the house
my partner pays £475 per month CM
his ex claims benefits as a single parent (HB, CTC etc) - says can't find a job despite 'looking' for 18 months. Now saying as youngest is getting into bother at school means she can't/won't get a job.

How is she claiming as a single parent if her partner lives with her.

aMeLia'S~MuMMY

Caz312 wrote: »

Just found this whilst searching for the same answer as partner currently having same issue with ex

2 children 12+14 both senior school
Ex's partner and his 2 children moved in with her so 2 adults, 4 teenagers in the house
my partner pays £475 per month CM
his ex claims benefits as a single parent (HB, CTC etc) - says can't find a job despite 'looking' for 18 months. Now saying as youngest is getting into bother at school means she can't/won't get a job.

Children live 500 miles away so all travel costs - him traveling south or bringing them north paid by him (approx another £200 per month)
Up till recently he was paying a voluntary SM of £325 pm also however this impacted that affordability to see his children, and the fact she was cohabitting meant this was stopped to allow him to afford to see his children more often.
She has been on the phone today asking for £4 each per day for school dinners and money for uniform. She plays on his conscience as the last poster says but it is frustrating that she expects 100% of the child costs to come from the father or government and is not prepared to contribute herself. She is a heavy drinker and smoker and he guesses that is where much of the CM goes!
She also makes a big point in spending £100s for the childrens b/days and xmas (new laptops, expensive mobiles, dvd players etc), making her such a wonderful monther in their eyes where he is seen as mean (they obviously don't realise where her 'income' comes from)

How can he get the message through about 'extras' having to be budgetted for without all out war?

Is your partner paying via the CSA ? If so then his ex can be advised that this is how much money the government says he should be paying ( no more .. no less!)

If not do the calculation on the CSA website to see how the amount he pays compares to how much he is giving ~ if it is more tell her !! If it is less then consideration will be needed to increase.

Hopefully your partners conscience should be clear ~ he should advise his ex that the money he gives her is to cover school dinners, uniforms, clothes food etc and to be perfectly honest she is extremely lucky that she gets in the region of £110 per week, if you look at other CSA threads most PWC's do not get anything like this if anything at all! They don't get any extra help so why should she ( your partners ex) be so special ?

:A

Caz312

Thanks for the info folks

Looks like she will need to learn to budget (or get a job!)
Problem is she suggests going halfs - she will pay half out of the CM then he can pay the other half. Doesn't accept that she should be budgetting - not as if he can go to his employer and ask for extra at certain times of the year!

He does not pay through the CSA although he pays what the CSA rate is (although they would make deductions for travel which he does not - he pays this on top of the 20%)

Her partner does not "officially" live there as she will lose her benefits (she has also told the children she won't work as she will lose them) he does not have his own place but uses his mother's as an address.

We were very upfront that we split all rent/council tax etc 50/50 but she has failed to disclose her finances. Guess most of rent/council tax paid by benefits and I guess he 'should' be contributing to bills

I don't think she is that badly off considerring she doesn't work. She has had 2 foreign holidays with her partner in the last 6 months (without the children) just chancing her arm we think.

arushofblood

arushofblood wrote: »

Realising that money is tight ( for us all eh ? ) I decided to work a few figures out today. I was amazed to see that I'd forked out over £1200 last year alone for the kids school trips, clubs, events, instument tuition etc out of my own pocket.

An update on my original post...

I approached the ex about these 'additional costs' and after a little grumbling, he agreed to pay an additional monthly amount which covered half of the kids activities listed above. I am now paid about £470 per month, which again, I am grateful for.... Then I found out, for the first time on over 15 years together ( yes really ! ) his actual earnings which he declared a couple of years ago as being £67,000 !!!! ( He's a company partner ). Bloody never saw that lot when we were married ?!?!? We were always skint ! With me working full time too !!

Well, what he's now saying is that I get 20% of his £1900 monthly drawings and he can't ( won't ? ) pay anymore contributions. Er, what about the rest of the salary ?!? Not to mention bonuses and 'cash in hand' jobs !

Suffice to say, I now have a solicitor asking him to declare the missing finances !

I live a comfortable life with kids in a modest terrace which I'm renovating. I work, earning enough to get by. I don't qualify for any benefits other than Child Maintenance and Working Tax Credit. I have a car which is now starting to show it's age, can afford the odd takeaway treat every now again but can't stretch to a big treats like a main holiday this year.

The ex is living in the marital 3 bedroom detached home, with a company car and has booked the kids Frech foreign holiday in the summer as well as taking them away on numerous weekends.

Now I know it was my decission to split and I therefore take responsibility for the kids not having the opportunities that they perhaps would have if we we still together. Just knowing what he earns now though, and what I think the kids and I are entitled to, really makes me think that the kids should expect to be able to have/do more with me and not just when they're with their Dad !

Hey ho

Spendless

Caz312 wrote: »

He does not pay through the CSA although he pays what the CSA rate is (although they would make deductions for travel which he does not - he pays this on top of the 20%)

Her partner does not "officially" live there as she will lose her benefits (she has also told the children she won't work as she will lose them) he does not have his own place but uses his mother's as an address.

We were very upfront that we split all rent/council tax etc 50/50 but she has failed to disclose her finances. Guess most of rent/council tax paid by benefits and I guess he 'should' be contributing to bills

I'm sorry but not only is what she is doing is benefit fraud, but also she should not be keeping any maintainance money, other than a small amount. I believe it is £10 a week. The rest of the maintainance money is kept by the Government because she is on benefits. The thing is when she is found out, it might mean that any maintainance you have given her so far does not count, and you may have to pay it again.

You really need to get this issue sorted, as it might mean you will become involved in a benefit fraud investigation.

fabianne

The pittance my ex pays for his 2 teenagers is under £25 per week in total.
This pays for their school busfare and some dinner money.
...and that's it!

arushofblood

fabianne wrote: »

The pittance my ex pays for his 2 teenagers is under £25 per week in total.
This pays for their school busfare and some dinner money.
...and that's it!

fabianne, that's terrible I admire you grately for managing (?) to look after your kids with such finacial restraints ! I'm sure one day, they'll admire and appreciate your efforts too !