Feeling stressed at work

lucky_monster

I started a new job 6 months ago after being unemployed for the previous 18 months. I was on a reasonable salary and enjoyed my job. Then around 100 people were laid off and we were all made to reapply for our jobs. I re-applied for mine but so did 3 others. As I was the only qualified candidate I got the job with a 20% raise.

Since then one of those who had applied for my job but got a very different more target driven and stressful position has made my life hell. I dread work now. She !!!!!es, complains about my productivity, makes snide comments about my work to other staff and infront of customers all the time pretending she's 'only messin about'. She has even had the cheek to suggest I lied about being qualified and this has had numerous staff and clients question me about them. Obviously when I first applied for the job I produced my qualifications and had them checked HR has copies of them. They had taken me many hard years and cost thousands to obtain

I know I shouldnt let it annoy me but she has this butter wouldnt melt routine and sucks up to the management. I just found out she is off on holiday for a week with the manager for a girls holiday and when we get back our departments will be working with each other closely on a big account that will last 6 months.

I know i should ignore it and let my work speak for itself which it does, had my review which was all excellents with 140% targets met. But I dont want to go back but desperately need this job to pay off my debts.

I love what I do and couldnt believe I got the job in the first place its such an amazing opportunity but one in which a jealous co-worker is making me dread coming into work.

Now she is so underhand no one would believe me if I told them half of what she gets up to. I have documented all of this, time and date and what was said. To be fair when i read it back it sounds petty but the cumalative effect of it is stressing me out. Knowing she will be in my office for roughly 4 hours a day is making me anxious.

Savvy_Sue

If other staff and customers hear what she says - which you say they do - then raise a grievance.

Or start by saying something like "I know you say you are only messing about, but I find it unprofessional so would ask you to stop." And then raise a grievance if she doesn't.

newmumincov

lucky_monster wrote: »

I know i should ignore it and let my work speak for itself which it does, had my review which was all excellents with 140% targets met. But I dont want to go back but desperately need this job to pay off my debts.

No, you shouldn't ignore it. If she starts sniping at you in front of co-workers, my suggestion is that you should smile sweetly and as calmly and kindly as possible define your boundaries/ask her to stop that behaviour. Same if she does it in front of customers, if necessary, though I'd be more inclined to divert her rather than take her so it is not played out in front of clients etc.

Non-defensive communication is extremely useful in conflict situations, even with passive agressive people. Basically ask neutral questions about her behaviour (think of them beforehand if she's someone whose behaviour is repetitive as that's easier than trying to do it on the spur of the moment), keep an even or light tone of voice, make statements about how you feel and how their behaviour affects you (ie. about the consequences of their behaviour)
http://maritalmediation.com/2010/07/the-art-of-powerful-non-defensive-communication/

I'd also suggest that you try to develop some compassion for this co-worker, for your benefit as much as for hers. Having some sympathy for her and her situation will make her behaviour easier to bear as it'll feel less personal. Secondly, make sure that you are nice about her behind her back unless you 100% trust the person you are with. Let her be "hoist with her own petard" if she keeps up the behaviour. I'm not saying that you shouldn't draw attention to her bad behaviour, how it affects you and how it risks damaging business if she's belittling you in front of customers. However, you must try not to get into any kind of comments on her character - you will only damage your own position by doing so.

pinkshoes

Don't let her get to you, as she's clearly jealous that you're so much better than she is!

How do you know she does all this? Have you heard her first hand?

Hammyman

Grow up, concentrate on what you are doing and let others hang themselves - the constant digging at you won't go unnoticed. Don't get dragged down to their level. Your performance reviews speak for themselves.

Milkshock

are you sure its only her, surely if her own managers knew about it and if you told them they would ask her what was going on, and tell her to pack it in?

the problem is that i know in organisations managers tend to close ranks when faced with issues....

Sambucus_Nigra

Can you bring copies of your certs in, and hang them framed on the wall behind your desk?

lucky_monster

Thank you all for your comments and suggestions. We have different line managers as we are different departments. But share an overall boss who flits between departments on a daily basis and is based out of our offices. She used to work in my department at a diiferent company many years ago before it was more tightly regulated and certain licences were necessary, she was always supervised so was allowed to do that job but since i dont need to be supervised it makes sense to employ 1 person instead of 2 - her and someone to supervise her. I know it jealousy about the job it is well paid and means i work unsupervised and have a couple of employees under me on a rotation. So every 8 weeks i have 2 employees from other companies I train to be able to complete certain tasks then they rejoin their company and I get 2 more.

I definately am going to put up all my certificates behind my desk or copies of them anyway. Then that should put an end to that. Yes I have heard the comments myself as they were said directly to me in the presence of others.

Like I have said before the comments by themselves are thinly disguised put downs and knocks at my ability and dont amount to much, but they are almost daily and have had a cumilitive effect of wearing me down. I feel like i am having to defend myself and work.

A little example : On Friday i had just finished a couple of reports and worked through my break, my line manager said take your break when you're finished. She came into my office while i was on a late break and said oh hard at work as usual everytime i see you, you arent very busy. I told her I had taken a late break, to which she said oh I didnt realise we had 8 hour breaks now. I just replied if you was working hard enough you wouldnt have time to check up on me.

Now as I wrote that i can see how petty and juivenille it sounds but its CONSTANT and with me still in my 1st year of employment i dont want to rock the boat. I have kept my head down and got on with my work for past 4 months but i feel I have to nip it in the bud or it will only get worse.

Milkshock

are you afraid to approach her boss about this?

lucky_monster

Her, her line manager and our boss are all going on holiday together for a week in France and are all best of buddies so a little... I mentioned it to my line manager saying this woman has been on my case, all he said was but shes lovely just ignore her your performance is excellent and we have had great feed back from all those who have been through rotation with you. He even said our boss had discussed my good performance with the MD when he was down. The MD shook my hand and said I've heard good things about you, to which i replied whatever you've heard its all true. Made him laugh and I havent seen him since. Although its good to hear that, its the people who i work with daily that she has really been knocking me with.

Sambucus_Nigra

lucky_monster wrote: »

A little example : On Friday i had just finished a couple of reports and worked through my break, my line manager said take your break when you're finished. She came into my office while i was on a late break and

Before she speaks, ask if she wants something. If she comes out with quips like that about the break, don't respond, look at your watch,and note down the comment made, the time and location. If she asks, say you have been advised to note down the comments, time and location. And say no more about it.