Dealing with school bullies and getting it nipped in the bud..

charliemaine1bee

Would really love some sound advice as im livid...background history we moved to a new village 2 years ago..my son started year 6 and throughout year 6 he was bullied constantly by a fellow pupil.I know now that numerous parents complained about him over a period of time..headmaster did nothing and his excuse every time was he is moving out of the village soon....
He did move at the end of year 6..hallelujah..kids are back out playing together nicely and my son started year 7 at seniors happy and blossomed in his work...

Now hes moved back!..for whatever reason the local authority kept the house open for them for a year and theyve moved back in(they are a problem family as it is)..school has been back 4 days and he's confronted him and shoved him a couple of times at school etc...now this evening my sons been out playing and hes followed him and tried to pick a fight with him..We've always told my son to not rise to him as tbh i imagine this kid carrying knives etc and it terrifies me..

I dont want to go through it all again of seeing my son scared to go out and play and being afraid of getting the bus to school..does anyone know how i can get this dealt with promptly and nipped in the bud..as it stands im going to take him to school monday and speak to someone but is there a way to fasktrack this..should i involve the local police with it being out of school?any help would be much appreciated.I really dont want my son to be attacked -this lad attacked a lad with a cricket bat at the old school and knocked him out..turned on the water works and got away with it..its just so wrong.:mad:

adamantine

if he is trying to threaten your son out of school hours i would call in the police.

i would be formalising a complaint to the LEA about the handling of the boy previously and that he has been back 4 days and its started up again and this time you will not stand for it and they must take action to protect your son and others at the school.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Abused children can be vile to others. As can vicious little sh&&&&s.


I suggest you get in touch with social services and tell them he is displaying very poor behaviour - they might be aware of something you aren't and this could tell them that there is more they need to do.

The council will probably have something in place regulating his behaviour/sanctions for the family in place. Maybe an ASBO?

And yes, it is a police matter. In school or out. Schools are less likely to ignore things when the police are involved.

Sammy85_2

I got bullied all the way through years 7 and 8 by a group of lads. (im a girl btw) It got quite violent at times, my parents involved the school when i came home covered in bruises after having a chair thrown at me across a classroom, school did nothing. Things got worse because the lads found out that my parents had been in. I almost left school over it. I quit afterschool clubs and scouts because it followed me there too.

In the end the ringleader said something to me whilst we were queuing outside a classroom one day when i was in year 9. I turned round and slapped him clean across the chops and noone ever said or did anything to me again.

Im not saying your son should start fighting or anything, as you say, this lad may have a knife or anything, but bullies feed on the weak ones that they can single out. Does he have any mates that can support him?

Definately involve the police. School will take note when the local bobby gets involved.

charliemaine1bee

Thank you all so much..im going to call the village community police officer in the morning and then the school first thing monday morning..my sons in tears tonight saying why did he have to come back..

Obviously the kids not had a good start in life..both parents are now in prison and he lives with his grandma..but he can't behave as he does and get away with it.

Hubby has told him to lamp him one..but hes not that sort of kid and it would only fuel the little swine further..He was daft enough to start on an older kid at school yesterday who promptly kneed him..and he ran off crying to a teacher and played the sympathy card..makes my blood boil..little swine.:mad:

McKneff

Stop with the name calling, I can understand you being protective of your child, but !!!!!!. Do something pro active and stop calling this child a swine, etc, etc. He's a child, for christs sake, he needs protection too, can you imagine what damage you could be doing to him too, 'Everyone calls me a swine, no change there then, so I might as well act like a swine'

Why not try to befriend him and let him know what a 'normal family is like.

charliemaine1bee

McKneff wrote: »

Stop with the name calling, I can understand you being protective of your child, but !!!!!!. Do something pro active and stop calling this child a swine, etc, etc. He's a child, for christs sake, he needs protection too, can you imagine what damage you could be doing to him too, 'Everyone calls me a swine, no change there then, so I might as well act like a swine'

Why not try to befriend him and let him know what a 'normal family is like.

Sorry but if it was your child at the receiving end of this 'swine' then im sure you wouldn't be so quick to comment the way you have..

Families in the village including us have tried to be considerate to the fact hes had a bad time of things but tbh my priority now after everything my son has been through at the hands of him is the safety of my child.

McKneff

Believe me I have been there and done that in my own life, my childrens lives and my grandchildrens lives so my comments are justified, its not the childs fault, nothing of it is the childs fault,
its what he has seen and been through that makes him the way he is, mixing with 'normal' people can change lives, try to work out a way to help him with other people, Personally I feel sorry for the poor kid, he doenst know any differentt. It makes me sad.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

McKneff wrote: »

Why not try to befriend him and let him know what a 'normal family is like.

DD had a boy like this in Primary school. She didn't particularly like him and his father was a complete *$&@( whose first response to anything was 1. make sure the male in the family was smaller than him then 2. beat the ££@* out of the male.

He would hang around a bit - was out riding his bike on the main roads at 7 years old - trying to make conversation with DD - she didn't want to talk, but would answer him politely - mainly because I had hissed at her 'be nice! He's trying to be nice to you!'. And he was very foul mouthed (but if that's what he heard, how could be be blamed?)

Anyway, the boy was allegedly so bad that the parents went to the local paper and had a feature printed about how vile he was, he was going to murder their daughters and they were all in danger from this walking demon.

DD said that when she heard me talking about the newspaper article, she realised the incident they referred to was the 'perfect' kids cornering him and throwing the remains of their lunchboxes at him for being poor and not having any dinner himself. She said he came out fighting and sobbing at the same time. After that, she was always pleasant to him. And actually came out with a 'he's not so bad, it's just that everybody else is nasty to him, including his Mum, Dad and brother. And I don't like the people in school that did that to him either.'


She has ended up with a lad who promised that anytime she needed someone to be beaten up or she needed help with being bullied or ANYFING, EVER! He would be there, even if she moved away or he didn't go to the same school as her.

Well, she hasn't required his assistance yet, but he attends a pupil referral unit and when he sees her on her way home from school, he always shouts to her and she waves back.



Reason why I'm saying this despite my earlier post regarding police, social services and the like, is that it doesn't necessarily mean he is bad through and through, but using abusive names doesn't help if you are trying to get something done. He may well be a little $£@(*, but he might be brain damaged as a result of his parents' behaviour before his birth, he might have socialisation issues as a result of violence or lack of interaction, he might be suffering something like (I think it's called) cocaine baby or fetal alcohol syndrome.

Grandma might need more help, which might only come with other people telling them there are still issues - she could well be terrified of losing him too and is too scared to admit there are problems - even if she comes across as a nutter herself.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Sammy85 wrote: »

In the end the ringleader said something to me whilst we were queuing outside a classroom one day when i was in year 9. I turned round and slapped him clean across the chops and noone ever said or did anything to me again.

I did that once. Got thrown head first through a plate glass window as a result.

The bullying continued until we were caught with me trying to smack her nasal bones into her brain (still getting pulverised, but I was obviously trying very hard to stop the fight permanently - the teacher who stopped it was an amateur boxing coach). At that point the school decided to remove her.

Happened again when I was older (tried to stab me) and that person had her face pulverised. Worked that time, but I did have the advantage of being stronger by then.

seven-day-weekend

McKneff wrote: »

Stop with the name calling, I can understand you being protective of your child, but !!!!!!. Do something pro active and stop calling this child a swine, etc, etc. He's a child, for christs sake, he needs protection too, can you imagine what damage you could be doing to him too, 'Everyone calls me a swine, no change there then, so I might as well act like a swine'

Why not try to befriend him and let him know what a 'normal family is like.

Whatever his problems he's still behaving like a little swine, I remember my son being bullied too. Why should one kid come home black and blue and in tears and scared because another one does not know how to behave.

Yes, I should imagine the lad needs help, but it would be MY child who I gave priority to.