Clearing debt with a toddler, no support and a house to keep on top of!

mmummy21

Argh. After all that OH isn't going to stick to the meal plan. I was telling him about lunch etc. for the weekend and his response was that he'll eat whatever he wants and I'm being too "anal" about it. Fine he can waste all the food and then starve. He hasn't got a penny left, I'm not going to bail us out either. No sirree - not this month!!

When we are skint and I have nothing to feed myself or our daughter with I'll go and stay at my parents so we can eat nice food and when he asks why I'll tell him exactly why! Two can play his game indeed!

mmummy21

On second thoughts, he'll just borrow from his Mum anyway and then end up owing her from his wage when he gets paid and be short yet again next month. How do you deal with a partner who hasn't had a LBM yet?

Aiming_High

mmummy21 wrote: »

On second thoughts, he'll just borrow from his Mum anyway and then end up owing her from his wage when he gets paid and be short yet again next month. How do you deal with a partner who hasn't had a LBM yet?

Maybe you can't make him have a LBM but you can deal with yours. Don't get yourself into more trouble by helping him out. After all if you lend him even £10 that's £10 you could be paying of something with interest attached. (I know this is easier to say when not there) if his mum wants/can lend it to him....let her. His LBM will come soon enough and then you can help - with wise words and encouragement.

Treacle_Toes

mmummy21 wrote: »

Well, we have hundreds of food in the cupboards but it's all sorts of leftovers, stuff that we never use - tins, packets, frozen stuff that'd usually never get eaten. I don't mind eating the leftovers from our freezer and cupboard for another 3 weeks and OH will just have to miss out too! Although we really do need milk, cheese, bread etc. I think I will split it into 3 - so around £15 each shop and buy essentials to last a week. It's only my daughter (Macy) I'm worried about, we have enough formula milk to last but I like her to eat fresh fruit and veg everyday as well as decent meals. I'm sure I can be creative and come up with something though!!

Have you ever looked on supercook.com? Basically you enter all the items of food that you have and it works out recipes that you can make with your food. It is an american site, so the results can be a bit odd to what you may be used to, however, it can be a great place to start so that you only buy basics for the rest of the month.

TT

lindens

mmummy21 wrote: »

On second thoughts, he'll just borrow from his Mum anyway and then end up owing her from his wage when he gets paid and be short yet again next month. How do you deal with a partner who hasn't had a LBM yet?

TBH not having had his LBM seems like the tip of the iceberg. I've yet to spot any redeeming features anywhere at all i',m afraid.
i'd be inclined to say to him either you live as a partnership or he leaves now.

mmummy21

Great, I'll have a look at Supercook!!

OH might be rubbish and unsupportive with money but he is great in other ways - both practical and emotional support, a fantastic Dad and partner.

He just doesn't grasp the concept of money and spending and doesn't understand why we can't just live on credit, making the minimum repayments for the rest of our lives. I told him last night that I couldn't bail us out this month and he did seem to take it seriously so I'm hoping that I am getting through to him. He won't use the joint account card or buy anything until I work out a list and give it to him next Friday.

Losing motivation today, I have started with ChaCha but for the time it's taking me I'm not sure if it's worth it as will have to register for NICs (think I'll be exempt as already pay NI at work?) and tax. Will have to think about it! Got loads to do, not even dressed yet!

mmummy21

Back again. Haven't been here in a while. It was simply impossible to feed us all on the £12.21 shop last Friday. So I went and topped up on Monday for another £12.00. I had to buy milk, bread, cat food, dog food and cleaning supplies and it cost me another £12.00. Still, £24.00 isn't too bad for a week's shop!

This week I have spent £33.50 (well actually I got it late last night) on a week's worth of food. I did manage to stick to a list though and didn't buy ANYTHING that won't get used up this week. But still we have to use a few things up out of the cupboard and freezer. We needed a few things that pushed the budget up - soap powder, washing up liquid, shampoo, conditioner, toilet roll, coffee. But I'm still proud as I bought VALUE everything. I even bought value washing powder and soda crystals instead of an expensive stain remover. I cleaned out the cupboards and freezer and there's stuff in there I know we'll never actually eat! I can't decide whether to just throw those things out and start again so we aren't tempted to stock up again or whether to keep them in the cupboard. I will limit myself to an extra £5 to top-up with bread, milk, cat food, fresh fruit/veg. And next Friday I'll come up with another meal plan and shopping list.

But I did get paid £170 instead of the £100 I was inspection plus I forgot about the £81 child benefit which also came this week and tax credits are next week although only £41. OH gets paid the week after.

A direct debit came out of the joint account earlier than I had thought which left us in an unarranged overdraft for a few days - not cheap at £5 a day! I need to be more careful in future.

Not having a good morning, my daughter didn't wake until 8am (usually we're up before 7!) so I was late up and have loads to do. And she's been awful grumpy and managed to fall and burst her lip this morning!

On a positive note I'm still on top of the housework and have no laundry. I'm just about to treat myself to a nice hot shower and blow-drying my hair! I haven't been back on ChaCha as it was useless and I don't have the time for it.

I am really struggling right now trying to find the balance between paying debts off and still having a nice quality of life. Just simple things like I really need new underwear, it's all grey and holey and not a great confidence booster! And my hair hasn't been cut in months and months so it's awful too. I wish I could take on a part-time evening/weekend job (I don't want to spend any more time away from my little one as will already be out 10hours Weds,Thurs and Fri) to earn some "me" money but my OH is on call 24/7 3 weeks out of every 4 and we have no-one who could watch the little one if he got called out while I was working. I have tried Avon before which didn't work out for me and I've also done surveys, dooyoo etc. but again never actually made any money. I seem to only make pennies really slowly and then give up!

It's just so easy to want to give up, I planned on paying off Next, New Look and Capital One with October's wage but there's so much to buy - a new carseat for the little one, the little one's birthday, mine + OH's anniversary, plus overdraft fees etc. I'm really tempted to put it all on a loan and forget about it but I really mustn't as I know I'll just run up credit again in future!!!

October's Salary - £1125+, CTC £41, CB £81
Total Income (£1247+)

October's Expenses
Contributions to Joint A/C 300
Contact Lenses 10
Loan 70
Phone Bill 36
Capital One 65.65
Next 100
New Look 100
Overdraft Fees 31
Car 100
Xmas Shopping 200

Little One's Bday 50
Carseat 50 (found it cheaper off a friend)
Anniversary 30 (need to think of gifts)
Treat for self 100 (halloween party outfit, halloween party spending money, new underwear and haircut)

Total 1247.65

mmummy21

Debts remaining end October -

Capital One 0
New Look 0
H&M 0
Next £150ish
Overdraft £900-£1000ish
Car to Family £800
Argos £272 (will be paying this from joint a/c as it was for household items)

mmummy21

Right!!

I really need to shake myself and get a grip!

We are majorly slipping. I have almost maxed out my overdraft (-£930.47) eek!! And the joint account has gone overdrawn although I'm not sure by how much, probably by around £60. Why can't I/we just stop buying stuff we can't afford?

It's not like we buy luxuries or anything. Over the weekend we bought tobacco, food shopping, cat and dog flea stuff, a new mop, baby calpol and teething powders and petrol. It all adds up to a ridiculous amount!!!!

I am getting fed up as it seems like we can't afford anything! My friend has invited us to a Halloween party next month which we always go to every year. But I have had to rejuggle our budget for next month and cut money off an anniversary present for OH and the little one's birthday present, I can't afford a party for her which hardly seems fair!

xx

mmummy21

Things to do today -

Housework - make bed, open curtains, dishes, clean kitchen, empty bins, sort and put away a small section of laundry, hoovering

Meals:
Breakfast - banana, toast and jam as no milk left!
Lunch - pasta and sauce
Dinner - chicken and rice soup from leftover roast yesterday

Other:
check electricity and gas DDs, give meter readings
cancel which subscribtion
look at jobs online for an additional weekend job
de-flea cat and dog
me and baby to rest as we are ill!

xx