Seriously Depressed

Hovel_lady

Will be around on and off all day if you need to talk.
Thinking of you xx

Marco_Panettone

Hope you're feeling ok. Firstly you need to concentrate on ending the cycle - spending in a self-destructive manner to make yourself feel better in the short-term is not the way to long-term happiness.

The first thing I think you should do is cancel the cards. You earn good money so don't appear to 'need' them. Having the 'free money' is part of the problem. As you say, 12k in 5 months on nothing isn't good for you! The loan has nearly gone - that's a huge positive. When that's paid you have an additional £450 every month to throw at the credit cards!

For the SOA look at http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html and then format it for MSE.

You ARE in control of this. Stay strong. xxx

suehippo

Well done on having the courage to express your feelings. I'm sure many people on here have felt desperate at some point over their debts - heck that's why loads of us are in the first place!

As a quick fix have you considered selling some of your designer gear on Ebay. I used to have a Mulberry habit but what's the point in having handbags stuck in the wardrobe! With some designer stuff you can get back nearly what you paid and if you've been lucky enough to purchase anything that's sold out you may even get more than you paid. It can be quite cathartic especially if you are able to pay off a chunk of debt.

Keep positive as there are loads of lovely people on here.;)

FML_2

Wow, I'm so overwhelmed by all your repilies.

I got paid today, so out of the £900 surplus I've got after all my basics are paid I paid £600 off my credit card with 3k on it so that takes the balance of that with the £100 that I set aside to £2300. Then with my loan payment this month that gets the loan down to £3550....The payment on my £10k credit card will just cover the interest I think so the balance will stay approx the same but although it feels like just a drop in the ocean at least I'm doing something.

I have also cut the cards up lol.

I have tried therepy CBT both a few years ago because I've always suffered from anxiety and recently after the bad thing happened but it didn't really help tbh. I'd just like to pay off my debts save up some money and then find a lower paid less stressful job and maybe book myself into the priory or somewhere like that for a month to properly sort myself out.

Regards ebay, i would find it hard to sell my things for less than I paid for them because then my debt def would be all for nothing, maybe if I lost my job or something (something I always stress over) it's something I would consider. One of my therapists told me I was a doom predictor and I guess that's true.

There's so many inspiring people on here with situations much worse than mine so thank you for taking the time to help me x

RAS

Hi

You really do need to do the SOA thingie that Marco linked to - even if you do not want to publish.

In particular you need to know what the APRs are on those cards.

Any of that designer gear not worn, that you could take back?

Any of it your really do not need that you could sell?

FML_2

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 1
Number of cars owned.................... 2

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 2500
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 2500

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 400
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 0
Electricity............................. 0
Gas..................................... 0
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 0
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 100
TV Licence.............................. 0
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 40
Clothing................................ 0
Petrol/diesel........................... 200
Road tax................................ 12
Car Insurance........................... 66
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
Haircuts................................ 50
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 868


Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 295000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 6000
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 301000


Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 175000...(400)......0
Total secured & HP debts...... 175000....-.........-

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Sainsburys Loan................3550......450.......6.6
Nationwide C C.................2300......100.......0
Natwest c c....................10000.....250.......0
Total unsecured debts..........15850.....800.......-


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 2,500
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 868
Available for debt repayments........... 1,632
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 800
Amount left after debt repayments....... 832

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 301,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -175,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -15,850
Net Assets.............................. 110,150

Created using the SOA calculator at
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using Firefox browser.

FML_2

God my soa makes me even more embarrassed.

The £400 is my half of the mortgage and includes building and contents insurance etc. Only half the equity in the house is mine as my x owns the other half.
He also makes noises about getting the 20k when we remortgaged back first before the house is split if/when we sell but I didn't sign anything and the money was transferred to our joint bank account and he is such a horrible person and some of that debt was rung up because of him he can f right off.
He pays all the bills because 1. He earns a lot more than me, 2. He has no debts and 3. Because he feels sorry for me. Part of him hopes we will get back together but we have been split up for 3 years and what he has put me through is unbelievable so that isn't going to happen.

Avogirly

Dear FML,

Firstly hugs to you.....this place is amazing. Stick with the guys here and they will help you through so much more than you ever thought possible.

I'm no expert on SOA's but there are a couple which really stand out for me.

£100 is a massive amount to spend on your mobile phone. Is there anyway of reducing this amount....PAYG....or reduce your contract.
£50 is also a lot to spend every four weeks on hairdressers. Is there any way of reducing this too?

I'm sure others will be along shortly to have a look for you, but for now, chin up, stay here and keep strong. You CAN do it.

xxx

FML_2

The £100 on mobile is actually for 2 phones, and was until 1 month ago £200 !!!! There is still just under a year to go on the contracts. The other phone was for someone who is unable to pay it anymore so my son has it now.

Regarding my hair I used to pay £150 a month - I'm an unnatural blonde but now have a mobile hairdresser so is actually an improvement.

Thank you for the advice x

NeverAgain_2

The SOA is certainly nothing to be ashamed of.

Your income/debt ratio is fine, and will be even better come May when your big £450 a month loan is paid.

If - big if - you were a happy girl and at least moderately responsible with your spending - you would be in a good financial position in a year or so.

So I would concentrate on sorting out your mental problems - the rest will then fall into place.