Seriously Depressed

FML_2

I've been browsing this site for a good while and am only just facing up to the fact that 1. I'm in a stupid amount of debt and 2. I am seriously sh*t with money.
I owe just over 17k in a loan and credit card debt that mostly has been rung up since April - yes in just 5 months I have probably wasted about 12k with nothing much to show for it apart from some memories and a wardrobe full of designer clothes/shoes and handbags.
This may I add is after me and my x remortgaged our house for 20k to get me out of the mess I was previously in.

Don't know how to do a soa but I'm am in the fortunate position ???? where my x and I still share a home and he basically pays for everything except my half of the mortgage, my phone bill, car ins and petrol and of course my debt repayments.

I earn 2.5k a month and my outgoings are

Mortgage £400
Loan £450 at 6% borrowed 10k, now owe 4k last payment is in may.
CC 1 £100 a month balance 3k
CC 2 £250 a month balance 10k
Car ins £66
Petrol £200
Phone bill £100

Due to something really bad happening earlier this year I have basically been a self destructive path and seriously reckless. I have tbh lost the will to live and have attempted suicide a number of times but am still here:( and I guess know that I have to face up to my responsibilities and I really need some support I suppose.
I plan to hopefully be out of debt in the next 12 months - if that is achievable.

Hovel_lady

I am so sorry things are hard for you right now.
I, too, have attempted suicide several times in the past so I understand what you're saying about that. I don't expect you to believe me (I didn't when people told me) but it does get better I promise you that.

Please don't feel bad about the debt or why you have it. You are dealing with it now and that's what's important.

There are loads of really supportive people on here.
I know - I've been having a really difficult time recently and the support I've got on here (I have a diary) has kept me going. I can't stress how important my diary had been.
So, you might want to consider keeping one as well.

Here if I can help in any way xx

Frankie100

Try to hang fire till other forum members come on here to help and advise you FML,life really dosent need to be that bad sweetheart.
Theres many kind souls who will try their best to help you on here so if nobody else comes on to answer your post tonight,then please dont worry,they,ll be here tomorrow.
If you can see yourself out of debt in a years time this means you can actually see that light at the end of the tunnel,whats 12 month of hard slog?,at least you,ll be able to sleep peacefully in your bed at night after that,that alone is worth fighting for.
You,ve come on to here and thats a fantastic start.Big virtual (((hug))) for you FMLx

FML_2

Thank you for your kind reply. I'm sat here with tears rolling down my cheeks, I can't/don't sleep very well without a variety of drugs at the moment, temazepam, zopiclone, lorazapam, diazapam i've got them all here but try to struggle on without taking them, plus part of me thinks to save them up for .........I don't know what.......... I'm in the really fortunate position of a good but very stressful job, about 120k of equity in my house, I'm in my late twenties, haven't missed a payment on anything but CANNOT believe my stupid financial situation.

Frankie100

FML wrote: »

Thank you for your kind reply. I'm sat here with tears rolling down my cheeks, I can't/don't sleep very well without a variety of drugs at the moment, temazepam, zopiclone, lorazapam, diazapam i've got them all here but try to struggle on without taking them, plus part of me thinks to save them up for .........I don't know what.......... I'm in the really fortunate position of a good but very stressful job, about 120k of equity in my house, I'm in my late twenties, haven't missed a payment on anything but CANNOT believe my stupid financial situation.

The majority of people on here also cant believe they got themselves into a finalcial situation but this is the start hunny,tablets wont help your problem,good sound advise from people who have been in the same boat as yourself is what you really want and need right now.
And to be honest FML,your financial situation is one that can be sorted out,yes it dosent look all rosey but it can be sorted out.
Dry your tears and just be happy that you have decided to tackle your problems on here,theres many who will want to help you,Im certain of that.

Hovel_lady

I would think that most of the people on this board felt really stupid and embarrassed about their debts when they were first here. I know I did. I'm in the middle of splitting up with my (ex)OH and we owe £21K between us.
Just remember you are dealing with them and have a plan to clear them.

Are you getting any help with the depression apart from tablets? Do you have anyone to talk to? PM (private message) me if you want. I'm not sleeping well at the moment and am generally on here late.

((Hugs)) if you feel comfortable with one x

Frankie100

Hovel_lady wrote: »

I would think that most of the people on this board felt really stupid and embarrassed about their debts when they were first here. I know I did. I'm in the middle of splitting up with my (ex)OH and we owe £21K between us.
Just remember you are dealing with them and have a plan to clear them.

Are you getting any help with the depression apart from tablets? Do you have anyone to talk to? PM (private message) me if you want. I'm not sleeping well at the moment and am generally on here late.

((Hugs)) if you feel comfortable with one x

Your so right Hovel lady(what a name!!:)
I got to the stupid stage that I didnt know what bills I had,I knew I had direct debits and standing orders but once my wages came in I just went out spending,and then panicing when I realised that I didnt have enough money to last me till the next month.
Comming on here has changed all that and thats something I will always be gratefull for.
I now know to the last penny what I owe(yes i had a major shock when I found out:eek:)but I sat down and with the help of the lovely forum members I managed to sort things out.Now I even know the date I will become debt free(6th June 2016):Tbut my challenge is to become debt free on 6th June 2013,I know I will do it too:T

I think Im falling in love with Martin Lewis:rotfl:

Butti

Hi,

Like Mrs Hovel I am wondering if you have any counselling or support. it sounds like you need that in addition to any medical support. Can you see if you can see your Doc about this tomorrow or are you on a waiting list for this?

In the meantime you can ALWAYS ring up the Samaritans at anytime.

Your debts are definately doable. Maybe post an SOA (see 5th sticky on the board) when you feel up to it.

B x

savingholmes

Hi FML - I'm really sorry you feel so rough. I think I would flush the tablets down the loo rather than leave them sitting there tempting you... I've had tablets like that in the house before now and it is scarily easy to take too many. I once nearly took (too many of) the wrong tablet by mistake) I just realised in time - so moved them out of my medicine cabinet and put them somewhere safer

We too in the past have put debts on the mortgage and then still accrued new debt. You are not alone.... We built up debts of between £20K and £30K on three different occasions. My spending in particular really worsened when I became depressed and/or when I was grieving (we had a number of tragic deaths close together). Once we sold our house to pay off the debt, another time we used equity on our house and I took redundancy to pay off debt and then I found here and over the last 3 years we've been slowly paying off our debts and rebalancing our budgets - and most of the time I beat the compulsion to spend.

I spend more when I am depressed or very stressed - apparently so many people do - that Martin wrote a booklet on Debt and mental health problems. Apparently people spend 30-40% more if something has upset them than if they go out when they are happy

You're not alone - there is a lot of support here is you look for it... You can turn things around...

Allypops

Don't be too hard on yourself. You are still in a position where you can sort it out and probably within the sort of timescale you are hoping for.

I too have depression and it leads me into reckless spending behaviour (as well as various other self-destructive behaviour in the past). Have you read Martins guide on debt and depression? Insomnia is such a drain on your mood, and things look ten times worse when you aren't sleeping.

Try not to feel bad about how you have got to this point, instead feel proud that you are facing up to things and trying to get things back on track.

There are some really helpful and supportive people on here (I'm afraid I am guilty of being more of a lurker) and I'm sure they will be able to support and advise you as you begin your journey to become debt-free.

This time next year things could have completely turned around.

Be kind to yourself, and take care.

Allypops

determined_new_ms

Hi FML I just wanted to add my support & love to you. I'm really sorry you've been going through so much, remember life won't send you more than you can bare, so you are strong enough to deal with the situations you face. I suffer from the black dog too - although its been about 19 months since I had a major episode - I do have blips but have learnt what the triggers are for me (working too hard, too much pressure - often at work - not getting enough sleep & issues with my dd) so have learnt to minimise these. I do this through a mix of exxercising each day - I think this is one of the biggest things I did to challenge my depression, even on a low day I force myself to do something even if it is a walk for 30mins, eating a healthy diet, and having a regular sleep pattern. Not the stuff of a rock & roll lifestyle but it definately does minimise the highs & lows. I also had a great counsellor for about 18 months which helped me stop being so hard on mysef.

My doctor used to say to me my depression was situational and when my situation changed so would the depression reduce. It took me a long time to change the things in my life that were upsetting me, but it was well worth the effort it took. Good luck & be kind to yourself x