What is the most embarrassing thing that you have been through

bargainbetty

My most embarrasiing moment was last year, when I was due to have a smear test. (Excuse the graphic nature, but it's funny in hindsight.)

I had spent the whole previous night in Casualty with a friend who was having an allergic reaction to medication, and had no sleep and only a brief shower before going to the clinic. The nurse kept telling me to relax, which was almost physically impossible given I'd been awake for 27 hours straight and was sitting in the stirrups. After the second attempt with the speculum, she complimented my pelvic floor muscles, but asked nicely if I could try once more to relax and not 'push it out'.

Success! Perfectly placed, on target and ready for the test and the nurse turned away to pick up the test stick. Then someone tried to open the door to the treatment room (which would have given them a direct view of my nethers) and in my sleep-deprived state it didn't occur to me the door would be locked. I tensed in fear, clenched everything and managed to actually shoot her with the speculum as she turned back to face me. I hit her in the chest with it - actually got the damn thing airborne. She jumped back and knocked the entire trolley of kit flying across the room.

We had to get a different nurse to do the test. She couldn't keep a straight face either.

Not my finest hour.

bobble_hat

crying with laughter at this thread, thanks to the OP and everyone who has posted for brightening my day. I'm too embarrassed to tell any of mine!

minimacka

make_me_wise wrote: »

Has anyone ever been set up by their colleagues with a 'Mr Nasty' joke phone call? I was in the staffroom and one of the clowns I work with told me there was a call for me from one of the parents of a kid in my class. So I took it. The minute you speak, this recording on the other end starts going barmy. I didn't retaliate which is nothing short of incredible for me, as normally I wouldn't stand for it, but thinking it was a parent I buttoned it. After taking loads of 'fake abuse' I apparently got very high pitched and a bit snotty and told him to come in and talk to me face to face. Turned round to see my colleagues barely able to contain themselves, flaming !!!!!!!s. Have never lived that one down.

Yes that has happened to me when i went back to work after maternity leave a long time ago, it was a man going balistic on the other end of the phone and lots of dogs barking so you just couldnt get through to him what you were saying, my work mates were falling about laughing. That was when i was young and naive I work with all men so i am a bit more worldly now

sick2death

In my late teens I enjoyed many wild nights out in the town with my mates. On one night I drank far too much, far too quickly, and had to retire early.

This was in my parents house, which was a terraced house on one of the towns busiest roads. My bedroom was next to the bathroom.

I dont remember much, other than waking up, feeling rather cold, hearing a bit of jeering, and the distinct clunk of the front door closing.

I'd obviously woken in the night to use the toilet, somehow got downstairs, and in a sleepy/drunken state confused the front door for the bathroom door.

I had walked out onto the street, just at kicking out time, stark naked. I got allot of claps/whistles etc, which actually turned out to be my saving grace. My Mum heard the commotion, and looked out of her bedroom window to see what the fuss was about, and saw me stood naked on the pavement, with a gathering crowd around me.

She thankfully opened the front door, and I scampered into the hallway. Which, had a lino floor, and was covered in a puddle of my own p1ss.

Amber_Sunshine

bargainbetty wrote: »

I tensed in fear, clenched everything and managed to actually shoot her with the speculum as she turned back to face me. I hit her in the chest with it - actually got the damn thing airborne. She jumped back and knocked the entire trolley of kit flying across the room.

We had to get a different nurse to do the test. She couldn't keep a straight face either.

Not my finest hour.

You could be a great hit in Thailand ... :rotfl:

Lirin

I'm famous for not thinking before I say something....

The canteen in my work had let out early due to holidays, and one of the staff had dropped a couple of treats on my desk on his way out, so thought I'd share...

My boss had quietly come out to query the email reading 'I've two huge lovely buns out here, who'd like one?'

I'm quite large chested. It took a while living it down.

Tenuse

I once stood in for my boss at a senior management meeting, I was quite nervous especially as I knew that not only was the managing director there, but also some senior people from the parent company.

Before the meeting started the managing director and a senior person were having a light-hearted conversation based around the concept of valuing people in terms of camels - MD was from a middle eastern background and really the conversation was not as offensive as that sounds!

However it came to a sudden stop when I piped up asking "how many camels did you pay for your wife?". Deathly silence. They were kind and simply changed the subject, but I spent the whole of the following hour wishing I could hide under the nice shiny boardroom table...

Ten x

Lotus-eater

When my OH was pregnant with our first, we went to a seminar where all the process of the birth and the options of pain relief, including full colour diagrams of the whole female body and exact descriptions were given.
Unfortunately I'm a bit faint susceptible when medical matters are being explained to me and I started to feel a bit lightheaded. So just before I fainted, I stood up and started to make my way through the chairs to the exit, with about 200 people in the room it took a while and a staff member hurried after me, as I lurched to the door.
Everyone stopped to look at me as I made my way out, including the nurse talking, who stopped, which made everyone else look even more.

Feeling more than a little daft, outside the nurse asked me if I was ok, just feeling a little faint I said, I don't like stuff like that, just need some fresh air. Afterwards I realised everyone in the room could hear every word I said.

I waited for the OH in the car, feeling extremely foolish. They all came out in the end and a couple who knew my OH came over and said hello, not a word was said to me, but they both gave me some very funny looks, I wanted the ground to swallow me up.

Ivrytwr3

When OH and I were boyfriend/girlfriend we were in a book shop one day. She wondered off to her interesting books and i went to mine.

I found a Karma Sutra with graphic photographs and found a position i'd "like to try".

I wondered off to find OH and when i found her I shoved the book under her nose and asked her if she'd "fancy trying that tonight?".

Some random woman who i had never met before looked up at me with a very frightened look on her face and stammered "Er.....No thanks" and made a dash for the exit.

skea56

danlojo wrote: »

My friend was in a supermarket cafe and collected her kitkat and coffee and sat down. After drinking half of the coffee she needed the loo so asked a woman who had just sat down with a cream cake and coffee to watch her table.

When my friend returned from the toilet she sat down to find her kitkat was gone and the woman who had been watching her table seemed to be smirking at her. Absolutely fuming my friend finished her coffee but was seething inside.

The woman got up to get a napkin so my friend thought, 'cheeky cow I'll show you', so she went to the womans table took a huge bite out of her cream cake and left the cafe.

As she neared her car she put her hand in her pocket to get her car keys and felt her kitkat in there.


:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::o:o:o

OMG i nearly died laughing at this!!!!!


sk56