Spending the child maintainence

SandC

Think of it this way - does the child benefit get given direct to the children in cash form? Nope.

*Louise*

Yes the money is 'for' the children...but not their savings accounts if there are other things they need. It's a contribution towards their upkeep.. To me that's feeding/clothing them and providing a home and heat etc, plus any little extras (holidays/school trips)

Think how much more secure you will feel with that debt paid off and a little savings behind you. That still benefits the children

clearingout

If it were me (if only the CSA could get money out of my ex!), I would first pay back the credit card, get essential work done on the house (I understand that one - I have a hole in my hall ceiling!) and then put the rest away until I had at least 6 months worth of everyday expenses covered in case of the unexpected. After that, I'd spend it on having a lovely time with the children, holidays, days out and not feel guilty!

Caroline73_2

Pay off your debts, it's not the wrong thing to do.

My ex refers to it as "your allowance" rather than DS maintenance. Drives me mad.

January20

willow_loulou wrote: »

Ok for the first time I actually am getting money from the kids dad and I dont know what to do with it.

I have enough coming in to pay my bills and being a moneysaver I know that pretty much Im getting the best deals. This is the first time in my life I have been in this situation. As you will see by my sig I have credit card debit (its less than the sig after paying £100 off and tarting Ill re do it in a mo)

So is it ok to pay my debit with the kids money? Obviously the majority was spent on the children on shoes, glasses food etc when he wasnt paying me at all. I just feel very guilty about doing it. Im getting a couple of things round the house fixed, after that I dont know what to do exactly with the money. Obviously if the children need anything thats the place to spend, this month has been uniforms, shoes and trainers..

if I pay the debt off should I buy bonds for the children afterwards? have a holiday with them for the first time in years?

Also the children have savings, should I move it to bonds? Or to a better bank than their current nationwide pitance interest?

All advice welcomed

It's NOT the kids' money, it is money given to you because you have children with your ex and it's supposed to help you look after them financially. It's his contribution to that financial burden and I've always regarded the maintenance that I received from my ex as that and used it as needed. You could spend it on brandy and butter, it would be nobody's business!

CH27

Pay off your debts then you are in the best financial situation possible if the money stops again.

willow_loulou

I cant thank you all enough you are all right I dont have to justify paying off my debts with that money, I think I just needed to hear it. It will be a huge weight off my mind clearing that debt, I hate owing anyone money least of all a bank! I think im going to pay it off and then split the money into 3 lots. 1 for everyday things and house maintainence. 1 for a well deserved and much needed holiday at some point. 1 for the childrens future as my DS will be leaving school in a few years and id love to be able to support him through college so he only needs a very part time job as I had 4 jobs and failed miserabley!

dirtysexymonkey

the money is for your childrens upkeep, and your already paying all of this so theres no reason why the money you already pay can be swapped with the maintence so you can pay your debt. dont feel guilty about it. you just need to remember that actually the money is still being spent on the children, its just alleviating your contribution for a change so you can spend your money on your debt. enjoy yourself! you deserve it!

tiamai_d

Use it to pay for food shopping then use your money to pay the credit card.

Okay... so the end result is the same but if it makes you feel better to see it that way, go for it.

Spirit_2

Sounds like you have drawn on all possible means to keep your children clothed, fed and housed...and got yourself into some debt along the way, skimped on house maintenance and treats.

I would be delighted to hear that you had now had money due to you and could clear the last of your debts and have a bit more discretion about days out, sports, activities and fun. It is yours, well deserved is not 'badged' ( i thought the poster who said she viewed all money as hers was right to do this) and you should use it as you see fit.

Enjoy it.

Looking forward to seeing you with a debt free signature!