Spending the child maintainence

willow_loulou

Ok for the first time I actually am getting money from the kids dad and I dont know what to do with it.

I have enough coming in to pay my bills and being a moneysaver I know that pretty much Im getting the best deals. This is the first time in my life I have been in this situation. As you will see by my sig I have credit card debit (its less than the sig after paying £100 off and tarting Ill re do it in a mo)

So is it ok to pay my debit with the kids money? Obviously the majority was spent on the children on shoes, glasses food etc when he wasnt paying me at all. I just feel very guilty about doing it. Im getting a couple of things round the house fixed, after that I dont know what to do exactly with the money. Obviously if the children need anything thats the place to spend, this month has been uniforms, shoes and trainers..

if I pay the debt off should I buy bonds for the children afterwards? have a holiday with them for the first time in years?

Also the children have savings, should I move it to bonds? Or to a better bank than their current nationwide pitance interest?

All advice welcomed

SandC

I would get the credit card paid off and would then set up some kind of savings account to keep the money in that is coming from their father.

If you can afford to live and have some treats on your income alone, then perhaps you can take advice on investing this money somewhere a bit more long term. But if you feel like they have been missing out a bit then perhaps have half going into savings for them and the rest for the nice stuff.

How do they feel about hols and things?

jakes-mum

I would use it to pay your credit card, the debt if from their essentials, your just paying it later as you didnt have the money in your hand at the time. Then afterwards you can use it toward a bit of their day to day needs, a bit for pocket money, and put some away for school trips. If you want put a bit toward taking them away on holiday thats your choice, its for their benefit.

AmandaD28

Its really up to you what you spend it on so if clearing the last of your credit card debt is important to you then i'd say do that

I use mine for stuff for the kids tbh and whatever doesn't get used gets saved it covers clothing (which costs a lot as they seem to grow by the month atm), uniforms clubs etc.

Clearly you have already got these things covered on your own so yeah clear the debt and save to take them away if that is what you wish some people get hung up about maintainance but to be fair you are covering the essentials roof over their heads, warmth, electricity, food in their tummy and clothes to wear so don't feel guilty about it its just surplus on your income and mentally you can just think that your maintainance covers the essentials and this extra money is now simply surplus if it makes you feel better.

Well done on dealing with your debts it can't have been easy

xx

SandC

Yup, I second the above. It isn't cash to be given to your children in their pockets like birthday money or a lump sum gift from someone, it's for their general welfare and upkeep.

No guilt trips, lady, you done good so far, now you can breathe a sigh of relief.

adamantine

i dont differentiate between the money i get from my ex for the kids and the money i get for myself. it all goes in one pot and pays what needs be. i would clear off the debt, put some into a savigns account for the children, save up for a holiday, treat them to a lovely day out to the cinema or whatever. the money for the kids is to support them which means help pay the rent, food, gas/leccy, fuel to take them places etc.... imo.

Mojisola

willow_loulou wrote: »

Ok for the first time I actually am getting money from the kids dad and I dont know what to do with it.

Are you confident that the money will keep coming in? If there's a risk of him not paying in the future, try not to get used the money in your weekly spends.

Child support isn't personal spending money for the children - it goes to the parent with care to help with the costs of bringing up children - heating, lighting, food, clothes, school costs, hobbies, etc, etc. If you can manage these regular costs with your income - and the debt suggests you can't - it could be spent on luxuries or saved for their future but don't feel you can't spend it while you struggle.

Always pay off debts first.

pigpen

Debts get paid off before anything else.. then you have more cash to spend on the children and not accruing interest..

What was the credit card money spent on? The children? (rhetorical questions!) If you are like 99% of other mums this will be the case.. so what difference does it make where the money to pay it comes from? It isnt like it isnt needed otherwise the debt wouldnt be there in the first place!

You dont have to tell him what it has been spent on either.. it is your money to provide for the childrens basic needs.

willow_loulou

Thank you all xx

I wouldnt say I am overly confident the money will keep coming, but the CSA have made him pay and he knows Ill not allow him to not meet our agreement and call them back if he stops. It took 3 and a half years to get him to pay 3 of which we lived in utter povery. I didnt think about treats and clubs though I have just joined the local leisure centre so they can go swimming most weeks I was meaning the basic day to day bills, food etc. There is much that needs doing in the house as I sit here digesting your comments I can think of many ways the childrens lives would be better if somethings were replaced or fixed.

Pollycat

As you've already said some of the c/c debt was used on the kids when you had no money coming in from their Dad, I can't see anything wrong with using the money you're now getting to pay at least some of the debts off.

After all, if you're not spending your money on paying interest on c/c debt, you will have more disposable income to treat all of you so the kids will benefit anyway.

Re what to do when your debts are paid off:
Don't automatically open a child's savings account - the interest rates are usually appalling so you might be better opening an account in your own name. Maybe an ISA if you pay tax?

Check out the main site for the best deals around at the appropriate time.

NB: a lot of ISAs and other savings account offer an introductory offer with a bonus %.
This will drop to a very small rate (maybe 0.5%) after the end of the offer (often a year) so it's important to make a note and switch to whoever has the best rate at that time.

You can also ask advice on the Savings & Investments board.

make_me_wise

I dont think there is anything wrong with clearing your debt as a priority. No point in having it hanging over you and raking up interest charges. As you pointed out it built up paying for things for the children, whilst you weren't recieving any maintenance. Not that this really matters either way. It is money to help you raise the children as best you can. Spend it on what makes life better for you all as a family.

Once the debts are cleared maybe put some money by each month to cover things the kids need, like school uniform, money for school trips/events, hobbies and clubs. Depending on how much you recieve maybe put some aside into a savings pot for their future. May be worthwhile making this an easy access type account so if you need it for an emergency it is there to use.

A friend of mine struggles to justify to herself how to spend the child maintenance too, reasoning that it should be solely used to provide for the children. Fact is if their father were still in the family home, this money would be used to make life easy for everyone, including things needed for the home or making the finances balance. So why should that be any different just because a family unit lives apart.