joint bank accounts or not?

Spendless

Bear in mind that at the moment that currently you can see that your OH is wasting money. You will have no idea if he is running up debt on his own a/c.

Spendless

Bear in mind though he could run up an o/draft on a sole account and you wouldn't know about it.

dora37

Me & OH have had both joint bank and saving accounts for 16 years - no problems or issues.

What I don't understand regarding couples having their own accounts or household accounts, when you go out....who pays? Who buys presents?Luxury items?

My personal opinion (and I'm sure people differ!) is you share your life, your children, your sanity (!) with your OH, yet are unable to share your money.

[Deleted User]

my dh and me (married 36 years) have a joint smile bank account and a joint linked savings account. The savings account is the feeder account for the month and for our joint smile visa account

I opened separate savings accounts for each of us as it is more tax efficient. They are online and in reality I am the one that runs them. I handle all the finances for us both

I put a few hundred in a tin in the kitchen for petrol, groceries and pocket money as wanted by either and I replenish the tin when needed

You have to have earned complete trust to be able to work like this and it works extremely well for us. I am the one who spends the money and I am the one with the purse strings and I am also the one who has built up a fine nest egg for us both to enjoy in our forthcoming retirement

We started this system 34 years ago and have not looked back. My dh used to handle the money side while I spent it and so we were always overdrawn during the first 2 years of being married. He asked me to take over at that point. Savings don`t just happen, it starts with a £1 here and there but I think that can only happen if there is complete and open honesty

hobo28

dora37 wrote:

What I don't understand regarding couples having their own accounts or household accounts, when you go out....who pays? Who buys presents?Luxury items?

I agree. I've often wondered this myself. But it seems to work for a lot of people so who am I to criticise.

I do remember with my ex that when we did have a joint account, she begrudged every penny I spent and wanted to save everything whereas I wanted to live a little and was confident enough about my career prospects that we could. I hated feeling like I couldn't spend my own money.

So we went to seperate accounts and when she got pregnant again, I offered joint and she refused. Turns out she was secretly convinced I would mess everything up and land us both into debt. Trust eh! A few years later after a few nice payrises and no debts, she suddenly wanted a joint account. By that time, I'd gotten used to having my own freedom so I refused! A sweet moment it was!

Newtonlot

When DH and I first moved in together we kept our wages going into our sole accounts and paid half the bills into a joint account. When we got married I was the bread winner and felt awful earning more than DH and having more money than him. We decided to put all of our money into the joint account and got 'pocket' money paid into our sole accounts. But if we ever need anything and we have no pocket money left then we can get it from the joint account. Am glad we have done it this way as we now have a child and I only work part time. With child no2 on the way I am considering taking a career break and we will have to live on DH wage alone (he is the bread winner now). If we did it the old way , I would feel crap having to ask him for money all of the time to buy anything. This way I still have access to our money.
I suppose like everyone else says it's a trust issue. DH is a quantity surveyor and has spreadsheets to tell us where we are at each month with the bills and savings, so we both know what is available to spend.

SusanCarter

We opened a joint account when we got married into which all our earnings and any other income (e.g. Working Tax Credit) go. We each also have a "personal" account and each receive an agreed amount each month (currently £40) which we are free to spend on whatever we want (mainly presents for each other, individual hobbies and "treats" we feel we can't justify buying for ourselves from the joint account).

Most of the expenditure from the joint account is routine stuff (groceries, rent, household bills etc.) but it does include clothes, haircuts (his not mine - I get him to cut my hair so it's free), mobile phone top-ups, holidays and one off purchases (e.g. sewing machine, books, online photo order). As neither of us is particularly extravagant, this works for us but if for example I spent a lot on clothes and he spent a lot on his phone then we might have agreed that any phone and clothing expenses are personal and would have a higher amount going into our personal accounts.

We felt that having all the money going into one pot and then receiving equal "personal" amounts was the fairest way of doing things but an alternative is to have your money go into your own accounts and then each pay an agreed amount into the joint account. This wouldn't have worked for us as I've only earned about £1k/year since we married and if you gave up work to look after children then you would only have the one income making the first method the only practical one.

Whichever of the two methods above you chose, the issue is really deciding what is covered by the joint account and what is covered by the personal accounts. We only have the basic minimum covered by the personal accounts (so we can spend on hobbies/treats without feeling guilty for using "our" money and so we can buy each other presents without the other knowing how much it cost or worrying about whther we could afford it) but there is no reason why you couldn't do it the other way round with only the bare minimum covered by the joint account (household bills and household groceries) and everything else covered by personal accounts.

An alternative to the one joint and two personal accounts is just to each have a personal account and divide up responsibility for joint costs such as household bills between you.

Really, the issue is more how to divide the money and responsibility between yourselves and the accounts rather than whether to have a joint account so I would suggest the thing to do would be to sit down together and discuss how best to do this as the current system is not working.

immoral_angeluk

We joint a current account and a joint savings account. It works well for us because I control the finances and DH knows that if I say we need to be careful with money that I mean it and we need to be careful with money. He's openly admitted that he's useless with money whereas I'm the opposite so he's quite happy for me to take the reins, so the speak.

It works for us but I can understand why others would be wary.

cupid_s

We have our own accounts but i suppose it's only in terms of name. Mainly this is cos everytime I try to to open a joint one OH forgets his passport so it ends up being yet another solo account!

Our wages get paid into individual current accounts from there our savings come out and bills come out of mine, mortgage from OHs. Then OH pays for more or less everything. And when his money runs out we start working on mine. At first he used to transfer everything after the mortgage over to me as he wasn't really as good with money. But then I bought 2 lizards without asking him so I'm not allowed all his money now.

I often check his credit card statements and bank balances and he does the same for me. We both have so much on that we'd forget if we didn't have each other watching what's due when.

But then we are both sensible with money. I know he wont waste our money and I've promised not to impulse buy any more reptiles. I'd be worried if I thought he was the sort of person to spend spend spend and possibly get into debt.

Continualdiamond, maybe you should directly address his spending with him. Rather than telling him what he can or can't spend try to work out an acceptable budget each per week for you both to spend and see if you can both stick to it.

Alternatively everything he spends, take the same amount out of the account - you don't have to spend it, either put it in another account or just keep it somewhere safe. He might suddenly see the balance dwindling and realise you can't afford for you both to spend that amount if you want other things. If not then at least you have a good bit of money to treat yourself to anything you want.

amyandoli

when i was engaged to my now H, we had a joint account which we both paid into and sole accounts each too. after a few months he ended up with an overdraft on his sole account, and was dipping into the joint.

we talked and decided to get rid of the joint and pay the bills out of one sole (mine) so he knew what he had left he could spend. everymonth hed overspend so couldnt contribute to food, petrol, pets etc, and end up overdrawn.

i left my job last year, he's a teacher so we do ok between just 2 of us. even though the money is 'his', now all the money goes into my account and i basically pay him pocket money! it sounds awful, but its the only way of doing it.

good luck sorting things out, be honest, shout if you need to, but take control if you need to!