joint bank accounts or not?

continualdiamond

Are these a good idea? Im beginning to think not, my fiancee and i have one and im starting to realise i spend nothing and he spends loads.

I do all the money matters, ie look at what we have and how much to spend on shopping and what to leave in for direct debts.

Every week i tell him the same thing, dont take money out if you dont really need it. He gets paid weekly, myself monthly. So since he got paid last Fri, he has taken out of the bank £30, £10 of that to top up his phone, but the other £20 wasted.

I myself have taken no money out of the bank. In fact i rarely do, i spend no money during the week, take my lunch to work and as i work in a school, dont really need my purse so dont take it.

Should i open my own bank account, change my details for my wage to go in and then put my 1/2 of the money into his account to cover direct debts?

That way if he spends and spends, its offically HIS wage he's wasting and not mine as well...

hobo28

Every couple is different. I know some with joint accounts, others who don't.

Why don't u both open accounts then put in only the money for DD's into the joint and everything else is yours to spend?

I know some who do the opposite where everything goes into joint then a set amount gets put into individual accounts each month for spends.

The important thing is that you do need to have some seperate finances so the other cannot moan. He probably considers it a waste of money when you buy new shoes or new makeup in the same way you think he's wasted his money.

Like i said, everyone's different and there's no right or wrong answer really.

continualdiamond

Thanks for the reply, like the idea of putting away money into my own account, that way dont have hassle of changing bank details for my wage.

He doesnt consider it a waste of money when i buy new shoes or make up, as im not that lucky to buy them. Last time had new shoes/make up was 6mths ago, last time i had my hair cut 5mths ago. I very rarely am able to treat myself.

Mark7799

We have a yes and no answer to this. We operate two joint accounts, one of which is basically DW's (her salary goes to it) and the other mine (where my salary goes - bills are split between the two).

Had this arrangement since we've known each other, it means if I want to buy her anything then I'm spending MY money (and vice versa). Also, if anything happened to either of us then the other can access the account without any problems.

Optimist

Mark7799 wrote:

We have a yes and no answer to this. We operate two joint accounts, one of which is basically DW's (her salary goes to it) and the other mine (where my salary goes - bills are split between the two).

Had this arrangement since we've known each other, it means if I want to buy her anything then I'm spending MY money (and vice versa). Also, if anything happened to either of us then the other can access the account without any problems.

Thats how we do it plus all savings accounts are in joint names

tanith

Everyone is different but I have always maintained that it saves any arguements if you both have your wages paid into your own acc and then transfer half your bills money each into a joint acc it makes life a lot easier if you have online banking... this has worked for OH and me for many years and we both do what we want with the rest of our salaries... HE SPENDS AND I SAVE:rotfl:

continualdiamond

Where would i stand though with the joint account having an overdraft?

I feel a bit guilty stopping my wage from the joint account as at the moment that contributes a lot to the interest we pay on it, surely.

Though at the same time, i would love my own money so to speak to do what i want with it.

Imelda

How about having just one set amount that you each draw out per week, you both agree to it and then the cards get left at home.
Do you have internet banking? Maybe if he was more involved with the finances he would realise the consequences of his frivolity. I know I got into debt by adopting the ostrich approach, now I know exactly how much each of my DDs are for, when they come out and what my account balances are, pretty much to the penny. This was a vital part of me getting out of debt.
Do you have a spreadsheet with it all on? In my experience men respond better to seeing things in black and white and not just being told.

stevie_wonder

Joint accounts can work if you both are prepared to share - but if either of you feels that the other is taking more than they put in then it won't work. In that case, best to use the joint account for all the DDs and bills and put in enough to cover them, keep the rest for yourself.

Since I went joint account, I;ve gone on to get married, my wife left work and had two kids. Now, we've only a joint account and we share whatever I earn, if she needs something we go for it and vice versa, but it just means you both have to be reasonable about it.

TBH, it doesn't quite sound like your fiance is ready for a "financial" commitment or is mature enough to realise you might be upset about the money he spends

margaretclare

Depends on level of trust really.

DH resisted having one when we got together - he'd had bad experiences in his last marriage, his ex treating it all as 'hers' even when he was unemployed.

We each have our own personal accounts (current and savings) but we also have a joint account which is used only for household expenses, we both tip into it and everything goes out by DD monthly so we never get unmanageable bills.

IMHO there is no point in having a joint account unless you're sharing a household and taking responsibility for the bills between you.

Margaret

Loui1979

we have three bank acounts

mine
his
joint

each month we put money from out personal accounts of the mortgage bills ect into the joint account (we pay half each to cover it) then have all the direct debits ect coming out of the joint, that way we dont have to worry and still have out own money.

He is on a bit more than me so if i run out of money he pays for anything i need.

hope that helps

xxx