NHS midwives rant

catch_me_if_you_can

purplepardalis - thinking of you hun, wish you all the best xx

katerinasol

Wow, I've never had a child but I got so angry reading about these stupid patronising old b*tches who couldn't care less about the patients! I hope everything goes well for all of you in the future! I'm off to research private hospitals for when I do decide it's time to start a family though

bargainbetty

fluffnutter wrote: »

The NHS has complaint procedures that might prove more fruitful than 'screw you'.

I made a complaint about an incident, and have had to chase down every tiny piece of information, only to be told that the person complained about has now gone on long-term sick, and there is nothing more that can be done until they return.

No, it's not more fruitful, unless you are willing to be summarily patronised, ignored and generally treated like a moron for months on end. I'll let you know if it ever works out.

MamaMoo_2

Yeah, the main reason I haven't complained is because of an earlier complaint I made about 4 years ago that, despite months of correspondence, was basically ignored.
I was told "staff were just doing their jobs" which was crap.

barbiedoll

It's really hard, making a complaint stick to a health "professional".

We had a midwife in our team who was just rubbish at her job. She wouldn't follow up high-risk women with the correct appointments, she wouldn't do the correct checks and tests and we were reduced to taking copies of her (extremely poor) notes to prove our concerns. She is a classic case of a midwife doing the job because it's all she is qualified for, she has no real passion for it and she doesn't care about the women. One of my colleagues had to shout and stamp her feet to complain about this midwife, the end result.........more training, some supervision and 4 months paid sick leave for "stress" :mad:

To anyone having a baby on the NHS, get your partner on board, if you have one. Partners are often caught between a rock and a hard place, they want to pander to mum but are in awe of midwives, doctors etc etc. Student midwives have their place, many of them are fully able to deliver a baby IF the labour and birth are uncomplicated. But they shouldn't be left with no back-up, if you are atttended by a student, ask who else is on duty, get names if possible and don't be afraid to make a fuss. Shout and have a tantrum if you have to, it's no time to be timid or scared about what people think of you, if you are worried about ANYTHING, then shout until someone listens.

Many midwives have never given birth and they are learn from textbooks and from lecturers, some of whom have never given birth either. A textbook pregnancy and birth is unusual, women do deliver after 10 minutes labour and they can dilate extremely quickly. Just because it is "normal" to dilate at 1cm per hour, doesn't mean that everyone does it. It always surprises me just how many midwives are amazed when a woman delivers quickly, or if a woman can't get a baby out after 4 hours of pushing, or if she can't breastfeed straight away. They can make you feel as though you are doing something wrong on purpose! It's the nature of the job unfortunately, just as most oncology doctors have never had cancer, a lot of midwives have no idea what you are going through.

As an aside, one of my colleagues was very big on home births and was passionate about breastfeeding. After a very difficult labour with a lot of complications, and a surgical procedure afterwards, she told me that she did feel guilty for expecting women to have a "normal" birth, as though it was something that they could choose. She felt quite humbled by her experience and she says that it has made her a better midwife.

Good luck to all the expectant mums and keep us posted.

vyle

bargainbetty wrote: »

I made a complaint about an incident, and have had to chase down every tiny piece of information, only to be told that the person complained about has now gone on long-term sick, and there is nothing more that can be done until they return.

No, it's not more fruitful, unless you are willing to be summarily patronised, ignored and generally treated like a moron for months on end. I'll let you know if it ever works out.

With my MIL they "lost the records" when she tried to take legal action, and said that nothing could be proved either way without the records. It's impossible to get the NHS to admit responsibility or put anything right.

flowertotmum

MamaMoo wrote: »

When I was in labour, I was in a lot of pain, and was moaning with each contraction.
The next day, I went down to the vending machine to get a drink, and a woman there said she had been in the bed opposite me on the ward having her 6th child induced, and she had been so worried that she started timing my contractions, and went to tell the midwife that if she didn't do something soon there'd be a baby born on the ward.
Apparently the midwife said "I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that you are a midwife. Leave it to us professionals"

OOhhh what a b*tch...i admit i'm no professional..but i have had 6 babies and i know when its about to happen and when the sh*t is about to hit the fan..i would have made a song and dance til she saw you..hugs hun...
One of my older dd's had a baby last yr..the advice she got was " wait til its toe curlingly bad before you come in"..i spoke to her on the phone and she had a contraction...you know the ones where you get deep and earthy and growl a bit...i told her to just go...she got there and had my lovely grandson within 5 mins of getting there..what did they say to her" you cut that short did'nt you"..!!!!!! does that mean..i had a dingdong with the MW that said that to her..yes its my dd's second baby,yes it was quick..but there is no need to lecture the child on her timing when you told her to wait abit longer..i could have slapped the stupid woman...my son-in-law drove like the devil to get her there...poor child wanted to push but kept breathing it through..well she and baby are fine but she won't be having anymore..it scared her..poor girl...
love ftm

flowertotmum

Purplepardalis...hugs for you hun..good luck and let us know how it all goes..i will be thinking of you..
love ftm

lynzpower

My heart is going out to all of you who have suffered. My eyes are welled here, I just feel so sad and angry for you all that have expereinced such !!!! "care" ( can they call it that?) I find it absolutely outrageous what passes for care, especially in a place that is filled with cameras anyway, can management not rewind these tapes and watch this stuff.? Its horrifying.

I am convinced that there is an element of the power dynamic, I cant remember the theory but its one where in caring profession you start off like the earth mother, do anything for anyone in pursuit of the right thing, then over the years you realise you are at the top in terms of the power hierarchy and you can make vulnerable people feel like !!!! and hell it makes you feel slightly more powerful for a few minutes.

I used to work in a hospital in the social work team, and I mainly spent my time on the labour wards and post-birth I would go see he newly born and their parents and see how it was all going.

I vowed I would never ever have a hospital birth. I would rather have my birth at home alone ( or with my mum, grandma, sister, mates, boyf- ANYONE) than be subject to the most degrading treatment that I regularly witnessed on the wards.

I heard of
Married women basically being painted as some sort of tart for daring to procreate with thier husbands. I heard a number of times a midwife shouting to a woman in pain " you should have kept your legs shut then shouldn't you".

Women on trollies in the corridor no privacy, in the throes of labour being told to "stop whinging, women have had babies for centuries, you are not the first you know"
Women in labour were regularly termed "demanding", for wanting to be reassured that all was going ok.

God forbid the ladies were in any way "educated" as they would then be termed "middle class" ( as an insult) and presented as fairytale princesses with no grip on the real world spoiled rotten and wanting midwives to peel them grapes when in fact they just did not want any complications to the newborn and the pain was too great.

I used to get referrals to find out if parents were "fit " or "allowed to take their babies home" as dads were "demanding" and "aggressive" , raising thier voices and wanted bloody answers about their wives safety, was everything ok?" in some way a domestic violence situation where dad was scared to death for his wife and newborn.

Being scared or worried or asking for anything is in some way a cardinal sin on the labour ward as then you ( parent or the relative) is in some way undermining the staff. Staff were thin on the ground ( I know they couldnt find anyone willing to work there was, part of it) and when you asked them for something you would get your head ripped off. I asked if one of my ladies could have an extra blanket youd have thought I would have asked for the moon on a stick for her. One of my clients (a lovely lady) was reduced to a sobbing mess after this midwife literally gave her a proper dressing down in reception for failing to bring any of her own cotton wool in to be used during her birth.

Teenage parents (including those who were married) had judgement laden on from a great height and I routinely heard new parents being told they had just ruined their lives by having a baby ( the 19 year old parents were overjoyed)

In the meanwhile babies that should not be leaving hospital ( ie babies who were born addicted to drugs, or in SCBU) were routinely discharged with thier neglectful parents and disappearing into the ether ( heres a clue, mum is not coming back)

Love to everyone who has suffered, there is a major problem in midwifery and until we sit down and deal with it as a society it will get worse. Many of these so called midwives do not deserve the jobs they have.

jamesperrett

After reading this I realise we got off fairly lightly with our recent birth - thanks to some of the good midwives out there.

My wife has worked in the health professions and it was enough to put her off giving birth in hospital. However, because of her age, certain people were really giving here stories of doom and gloom to try to persuade here to visit a consultant every couple of weeks. Thankfully, we had a midwife friend who said that this kind of monitoring often resulted in unnecessary induced labour and that we would be fine ignoring this advice. Our midwife seemed to go along with this but we found she was still trying to persuade us to go to hospital regularly.

It was at that point that we were introduced to an independent midwife who told us how to talk to the Supervisor of Midwives about our concerns and request a change. This was invaluable advice as we were then looked after by two brilliant midwives for the rest of the pregnancy. These midwives made themselves available outside their normal working hours and I think my wife subconsciously timed her labour for a time when one of them would be on call. We ended up having a 7 hour home birth with only a small complication at the end which was handled without too much fuss by the midwife (although we found out that she had another midwive on standby in case things went wrong).

If you aren't happy with your midwife you can ask to talk to the On Call Supervisor of Midwives at any point - even in the middle of labour - and ask for a different midwife. This is something that often isn't mentioned but it should be. We found that a meeting with the Supervisor of Midwives was far more effective than any complaint.

James.