Not been invited..

ohara09

This is a difficult one.

I'm getting married next May, and the original guest list included all my cousins partners - I'm from a large family, so have many of them!. However, when all totted up, we just can't afford to have everyone there - and if we invited my cousins partners, it would mean that I wouldn't be able to invite any of my friends, bar my bridesmaids. I would love to be able to invite everyone, but when push comes to shove, I would much prefer my very close friends to be there, rather than my cousins partners.

We have therefore decided on a 'rule' that only cousins who live with their partners will have their partners invited to the day. It's not very nice thing to do - but there is a massive difference in price to inviting them to both the day and evening opposed to just the evening.

I do realise it must hurt you, but the chances are the bride and groom in your case has created a rule just like I have - it's likely that it's nothing personal, just a necessary thing.

x ohara

jonty1970

I think it's mean. I would be upset but wouldn't cause a fuss about it. I wouldn't let them know they had hurt me.
I would be upset at my boyfriend for not getting me an invite though.
But I would probably tell him to stick it where the sun don't shine!

podperson

If his sister's partner had been asked originally then I would have perhaps been a little hurt - the fact that he wasn't until they were pressurised into it simply says to me that they had restraints with budget/space etc and weren't inviting plus ones for cousins. You say you've only met them a few times so it's not like you've very close to them. I have a massive amount of cousins, most of whom I haven't seen in years - if I had to invite all them and their plus ones I'd be out of room already! You say you're going to be getting married in a few years - if you only have the room/money for x number of people, are you going to choose to invite your close friends that you really want to be there to share your special day or your relative's partner that you don't really know because you feel pressurised into it?

BugglyB

If you had put anywhere in your post that you were really gutted you weren't going to get to see them tie the knot I'd say you're right to be disappointed, but you seem more upset not to be invited to the family party and that your mum in law didn't stick up for you. I really sympathise for you on that - you have a point - but I do think at my wedding I really only want people there who are primarily there to see me get married!