Not been invited..

Luella-14_2

Just plan something else fun to do with your family / friends that day and don't think any more about it. To my cousin's wedding last year, out of 9 cousins I was the only one with a +1 invitation, as my man and I had been together for 5 years. This resulted in one of the other cousins not turning up "in protest" as his girlfriend wasn't invited. He was the only relation absent and it was sad that we couldn't all be together.

From another side - if your boyfriend had kicked up a fuss like his sister seems to have done and it had resulted in you being invited, would you have been able to enjoy it anyway? I think I would have felt very awkward.

split_second

i have a rule, if someone invites me to a wedding they invite my fiance too, or i dont go.

they dont like it, they can put it in the fridge with the rest of their beef

Homeowner_by_30

I really don't think that there is any personal insult intended in not inviting you. A wedding is a very expensive and personal day so if they do not know you very well this is probably why you are not on the invitee list. Despite being close when we were growing up I hardly ever see my cousins anymore so I would rather invite a friend I see every week than I would a family member plus one that I see once in a blue moon.

I'm sure that you and your OH are not attached at the hip so he can go to the wedding and you could organise a girls day with your friends, grab a nice lunch or go to the cinema, just make sure you have a lot of fun so there is no need to be resentful to your OH for going. You could even opt for a day at the races so you can still go shopping for an amazing outfit (although not very MSE!! )

We all need to rant every so often, its always much better out than held in! Just try not to take it personally and try to have a much better day out than you would get to at a stuffy wedding with the in-laws!!

74jax

nicole.17 wrote: »

Argh rant over. But please, someone tell me if I really am just being silly and thinking way to much into it.

It not nice to feel that way but for my wedding I certainly won't be inviting people I've only met 'a few times'. We aren't limited on numbers from the wedding venue, but only want people there who know us well and who we speak to all the time.

I work in a small office of 4 girls and I'm inviting 2 of them but not the other 2 and I don't feel bad about this, even though one of the ones I'm not inviting is inviting me to her wedding (still following??) I think it's a personal thing who gets an invite.

I wouldn't want my H2B to decline an invite to a wedding just because I wasn't invited. And I don't think it is up to your partner to 'say something'. It's their wedding and their guest list which I'm guessing they didn't throw together in an hour.

When it comes to your wedding, I wouldn't not invite someone just because you didn't get an invite to theirs. You don't know everyone's circumstances and I think on your wedding day you should be surrounded by those you cherish and who you want to share this amazing day with - if that happens to be someone who didn't invite you to their wedding that shouldn't change the fact you want them to share your day.

I can't wait for the moment I look round the room with my new husband and see everyone there I want there, who know me and my husband inside out, and not all my friends and some partner who I've met only a handful of times.

74jax

melancholly wrote: »

but i think that is key...... not inviting a partner when a couple has been together for a decade is not the same as if they have been together 6 months (most people don't invite a plus one unless it's pretty long term - imo, 4 years is pretty long term). and not everyone chooses to get married (we have friends who have been together for 25 years with 3 kids who just never felt the need to tie to knot), so it can't be based on married versus 'just' a couple.

But if the bride and groom have only met someone a handful of times it doesn't matter how long they have been together - the bride and groom may feel they don't know her well enough to share this, their wedding day, with a stranger.

becca0417

It's soooo hard to pass judgement on the B&G until you've been in their shoes! You can never ever please everyone (or sometimes anyone!) when planning a wedding. Don't take it personally and enjoy the day's peace with no footie on the TV!

74jax

becca0417 wrote: »

It's soooo hard to pass judgement on the B&G until you've been in their shoes! You can never ever please everyone (or sometimes anyone!)

This made me smile, it's soooo true, but it was spoken as though you have a pile of examples to use :rotfl:

I'm very lucky in that as long as I wake up on the morning of my wedding without a headache :T and when I get down the aisle (or corridor or room...) my H2B is there and doesn't look as though our best-men have had to padlock him to them in order to stop him doing a runner, I couldn't care less who is invited, or not, or wants to be.

Scotsbride

becca0417 wrote: »

It's soooo hard to pass judgement on the B&G until you've been in their shoes! You can never ever please everyone (or sometimes anyone!) when planning a wedding. Don't take it personally and enjoy the day's peace with no footie on the TV!

Made me smile when it your turn you'll understand this especially when it comes to budget and venue capacity. I wouldn't take it to personally.

becca0417

74jax wrote: »

This made me smile, it's soooo true, but it was spoken as though you have a pile of examples to use :rotfl:

I'm very lucky in that as long as I wake up on the morning of my wedding without a headache :T and when I get down the aisle (or corridor or room...) my H2B is there and doesn't look as though our best-men have had to padlock him to them in order to stop him doing a runner, I couldn't care less who is invited, or not, or wants to be.

A few examples but I've learnt that since we can't please everyone, we shall please ourselves. Our day, our way! You sound like you have a very similar attitude

roses

Given that your boyfriends sisters partner wasn't invited, until pressured into it, I really wouldn't take it personally. Perhaps they need to save money so couldn't invite partners. I'd let this one go and not be insulted at all. Send them a card, wish them the best and perhaps they'll warm up to you in the future. I'm a tit for tat person so just remember who to invite when you get married