Advice needed for friend re marital split

welshcakes

Not sure if she knows but the house doesn't automatically get sold and each does not automatically walk away with 50% - that's a common misconception held by those who would like it to be that way!

Bossyboots

flufff wrote:

She needs to claim benefits though.Once on benefits she will be entitled to legal aid which she needs post haste and get her to see a solicitor.First half hour is free..

I am honestly not picking on you, but you are posting misleading information.

You are debarred from being granted legal aid if you go onto benefits to enable yourself to qualify. As the friend is currently working, questions would be asked about why employment was terminated. Once on maternity leave the income would more than likely be low enough to qualify anyway. It could even be that her income is low enough at the moment in any event.

There is no right to a free half hour interview and there is nowhere in the area I live or the outskirts that offers this. The free half hour wouldn't be needed anyway if she was on legal aid. I know from these forums that some solicitors further out offer a free half hour but this is nowhere near enough time to give proper details and receive advice. It is important to make sure that if a free half hour is taken up and overruns, that it is not chargeable. It can be nothing more than a diagnostic interview in that time scale so legal aid would be the better road to go down if applicable. The other option is a fixed fee first interview which will be a much lower hourly rate than usual and can last for up to an hour. Unfortunately, this again is a practice that is dying out among high street firms.

Even if the friend qualifies for legal aid, they will have to pay back the costs out of their settlement although the hourly and associated rates payable are much lower than private rates. Legal Help is calculated on the income for the preceding four weeks and not recalculated even if the income changes. Full legal aid is calculated on the previous 12 weeks income and eligibility is recalculated if there is a change of income. If she was to genuinely qualify for benefits, then it is true that she would automatically qualify for legal aid although the rule about paying the money back from any settlement still applies.

Bossyboots

welshcakes wrote:

Not sure if she knows but the house doesn't automatically get sold and each does not automatically walk away with 50% - that's a common misconception held by those who would like it to be that way!

I've been posting that info on these forums for many, many months but it is often like banging my head against a brick wall. Its nice to see someone else posting it.

Snaggles

Thanks welshcakes, I think she genuinely believed what he had told her. I just hope she will stand her ground, and not let him pressurize her into selling the house just to keep things amicable. I understand why she doesn't want to fight with him, but at the same time, as her friend, I feel like I should at least make sure she is well informed before she makes any decisions.

welshcakes

Ironically, some of the worst decisions/agreements regarding divorce are made because people are too emotional. I know it sounds crazy and in respect of children issues then using one's heart first is the courageous thing to do. However, letter, threats of actions and apparent 'deadlines' make for hasty decisions because we panic and just want to get it all over with.

She needs to know that all stages will take a long time and she has plenty of time right now to just be quiet in her head and heart and find a calm place. The world will not fall apart next week or the week after just because her husband bullies her into thinking it will. Fear and bullying are prime weapons used in divorce and they'll only work if she lets them.

Legal Aid is means tested and http://www.legalservices.gov.uk/ is the official site. There is an online eligibilty calculator as well as a full list of solicitors in your area.

Since she is going back to work after maternity, she should check to see the WTC she'd be entitled to as well as assistance with housing benefit if she is under a certain income.

As soon as the marriage becomes estranged (ie spouses live separate lives including separate bank accounts) she is legally regarded as a single parent in respect to her household income and therefore her benefits entitilements.

Snaggles

Thanks again welshcakes, I'm going to try and collate all the info into bullet points for her, with some internet links and phone numbers - hopefully that way she wont feel overwhelmed by it all, and can take it at her own pace. And you're right, I think the very best thing I can do for her at the moment (apart from being there to chat & mop up the tears if she needs me) is to make sure she takes her time and doesn't rush into anything.

Nacraig

i just want to say i hope everything works out for your friend, i dont know what i would do if that was me.

Snaggles

Thanks, I'm sure she would appreciate that Nacraig. It's a horrible situation she is in, she's coping but is obviously very broken up.