Marriage v Single Life - pros and cons

heleen

ooooo - you seem to have awakened mostly people with bad experiences so wanted to redress the balance again. Happily married for 4 years now and expecting 1st child. Absolutely blissful in my relationship still (except when pregnancy hormones act up!)

However, I agree that you need to make sure that you are independently OK if it all goes wrong and don't put all your eggs in one basket.

jo_b_2

Don't want to air my dirty linen in public, but I will!

I've just split up with my partner after living together for nearly four years. We have a two-year old son together.

Two years ago I would never have imagined that we would end up like this. Thought that he was the one for me and that we would spend the rest of our lives together.

Anyway, all I would say is just do what feels right for you. Sometimes you have to take risks in relationships but if you're not sure that it's the right move, then don't rush into it. :-*

Nice to see that there are some people on here that are happily married.

Allexie

*

Nice to see that there are some people on here that are happily married.

Certainly is!!!

16011996

i have both sides of the coin. was married for 8 years v happily, we got on fine and had three kids. he died earlier this year, quite suddenly, and now i'm on my own I like it most of the time. Money is tight, but think thats more the kids than anything else. However I am starting to like my ndependance again. I can go out when i like, do what i want to do, but miss having someone there at the end of a long day to talk too. make a long list of pros and cons. but listen to what your instincts telling you.

Travelqueen

My mum and dad met and married in 11 months...

They've been married 34 years.

I know it's a different generation, but it's something I'd love to have.

Being single and self-reliant is great. I've done pretty much everything on my own, have been single for over 6 years, but plenty of flings thrown in.

However.. there are some things you can't have alone:

Intimacy
Being able to share things with someone rather than just a camera lens
Experiences
Good times
Bad times

Friends are great, and are the new 'family' for most, but there are times when only a member of the opposite sex will do - and I don't mean the obvious ones!  ;D

However, having said that, I'd rather be alone than with someone and lonely...

Good luck to everyone in finding that special someone, or 'tweaking' who they're with to becoming that person!

Here's hoping next year might be when love lives get sorted, as this has definately been the year for finances thanks to MSE... now where did I leave next years star predictions....

TQ

System

However, having said that, I'd rather be alone than with someone and lonely...

Wise words Travelqueen.

jo_b_2

Here's hoping next year might be when love lives get sorted, as this has definately been the year for  finances thanks to MSE... now where did I leave next years star predictions....

TQ

This is exactly how I'm feeling at the minute! Spend the rest of this year getting my finances sorted and sorting out the house and all sort of practical stuff.

Next year I want to sort out my love life and find somebody who deserves to be with me. Hope it happens. :-/

yonk

I'm really really happily married but I have a spouse who encourages me and leaves me to have space and is kind! So I've had lots of support to go and do all sorts of things I wouldn't have done otherwise, plus I have company and a best friend.

He gets his tea cooked! But if he doesn't he goes and makes his own! Lots of difference between co-habiting and marriage particularly with respect to proeprty and other legal stuff. I wanted to have my partner as next of kin.

yonk

Sorry for mushy post but have been missing other half whilst he has been away working.

My Mum was downtrodden for years so it was a path I was keen not to follow. So I have put quite a bit of effort into building my confidence and communication skills. This means we do have arguments but they never get too serious as nothing has been left to fester and we try to identify the specific issues we need to address. Not just a shotgun approach, more specific.

I was really happy to get married as it felt the right thing to do, I've kept my own name (others are horrified) and have enjoyed my relationship to date. But I also know about my finances/rights and have a great relationship with my solicitor, just in case, things change as they can do quite quickly.

However, no relationship is the same and no-one can really give you specific advice as they only see a part of your life. You can only learn from other people pitfalls to avoid. If you are worried about living with someone, wait awhile and if it's meant to be, it will happen.

The only other things you can do are protect your assets and look after yourself. If you are confident and happy, it tends to keep your relationship happy and confident too!

Allexie

I'm really really happily married but I have a spouse who encourages me and leaves me to have space and is kind!

Sounds like you have a real diamond there!