The Modern but Old Style Homemakers Club

juliapenguin

Personally I've always struggled with getting balance in my life in all sorts of ways, and for the last few years my focus has been on work, with my homemaker role not getting a look in. That takes its toll on my mental health, as a calm, clean(ish), peaceful environment is absolutely essential for me. I've also had some short periods of not being at work - either holidays if I've been in a term-time only job, or unemployment - when everything at house is spick and span but I'm lonely.

Maybe we can discuss ways in which we can find the balance between creating our 'ideal' home environment and the other things that we do, whether hobbies/interests at home and forays into the outside world of friends/work/voluntary work/outside interests?

In a society which makes some people feel they need to apologise for seeing 'homemaking' as their main or only job, how do we avoid buying into that way of thinking?

juliapenguin

20somethinghousewife wrote: »

I know this is off-topic but...
Lollyfin and others who have trouble sleeping, I've had the same problem and wanted to share what worked for me.
If you need to be in bed during the day because of health/depression etc, don't use the bed you sleep in at night. Use the sofa or ideally a spare bed if you have one. It helps the brain associate your bed with sleep. Also, don't use any electronics in the bedroom like a laptop or TV. Avoid caffeine in the evening. Research 'sleep hygiene' for more tips but I've done the above and it's made loads of difference for me.

I don't think this is off-topic, as I think a lot of us are at home because of health issues, and chances are that if you have health problems you have trouble sleeping. This has an impact on homemakers, as they are more able to take naps during the day which in my case can make the nighttime insomnia worse and lead to a feeling of lethargy and never getting anything done. This could well lead to feeling like you're 'only' a homemaker but you can't even get your housework and other chores done. Recipe for depression.

Thank you 20somethinghousewife x

kippers

life_in_termoil wrote: »

I always manage to keep the lounge and downstairs loo clean tidy and sparkly just in case anyone pops round (nobody does as I dont have any friends here) but the rest of the house is 1 big mess!! Unless I know my parents are coming then its a mad frenzy of cleaning activity!)

LOL..that sounds just like our house:T

chirpychick wrote: »

I feel so alone sometimes because people dont understand why i am a homemaker!

These feelings do pass in time. I used to feel exactly the same but now it only bothers me occaisionally, usually when i'm run down or tired.

I think the meal planning idea is brilliant:T. it helps us all to focus and run the home more smoothly and save money, so i can't see why this challenge or anyother money saving challenge is off topic?
I'll try and do my monthly meal plan before my dh's payday on the 24th.

juliapenguin

kippers wrote: »

These feelings do pass in time. I used to feel exactly the same but now it only bothers me occaisionally, usually when i'm run down or tired.

I think the meal planning idea is brilliant:T. it helps us all to focus and run the home more smoothly and save money, so i can't see why this challenge or anyother money saving challenge is off topic?
I'll try and do my monthly meal plan before my dh's payday on the 24th.

This is why we need this thread.

For me, and I'm sure I'm not alone, I find it more difficult to get involved in the other OS threads/challenges because I'm still struggling to come to terms with the fact that being at home doing these things may be ALL I have in my life for a while. Going from being busy with work/worrying about work 24/7 to suddenly having hours and hours and hours stretching out ahead of me with no structure AND no kids at home for company is quite scary.

I often get NOTHING done and there's nothing for dinner when OH comes in. That's not good - he works hard to bring home the bacon and if I'm not out at work it's only fair that I should do at least some of his 'share' of the chores.

So, maybe if we can try to relate our posts to the OS homemaker role, we will be able to keep this thread.

juliapenguin

Why mealplanning is an issue for this thread:

When I'm at home all day, the temptation is to think 'I've got hours and hours to think about dinner - I'll find something to cook later'. By the time later comes, I might have started feeling sleepy, as I don't sleep well at night, and then I realise that the little Tesco near me will be understaffed and busy because it always is at about 3pm, so because I haven't got anything obvious to cook I end up having fond thoughts of takeaways.

However, if I can force myself to mealplan for the whole week IN SPITE OF having hours and hours and hours to think up meals on the day, then I will save money, and feel a sense of achievement as a homemaker, of having cared for my own needs and those of my husband. The money I save will enable me to stop panicking about being too ill to take any old job and get my health right before I decide what to do next.

juliapenguin

Oh dear, I think I've done too many posts and probably should go and do some homemaking...

Fishcake_Random

Sorry everyone, I thought this was intended to be a housekeepers daily chat/hang out thread.
Am I the only one? Is it worth us "chatters" opening a Housekeepers Daily chat somewhere so we don't upset each other?
If there is enough of us I will make one
x x xx

medsdemon

Could i join please:D.

I haven't worked since I had my daughter 15 years ago and in theory could work but choose to do other things to make a little money from home instead. I sell on ebay and do a bit of comping on and off if there are things I really would like- we got our holidays this year through comping and wouldn't have afforded them even if I had been working. I'm lucky in that my 2 closest friends both work part time jobs and then only recently gone back so I feel no peer pressure. My other good friend is incredibly jealous of me and would love to stay home but she is a single mum of two so it's impossible for her.

My OH doesn't have a huge wage but we manage quite well and get to spend lots of time together and we certainly don't really miss out on anything or do anything less than working couples.

The last 2 weeks have been lovely and I do feel very lucky in that I could spend a week visiting my mum and sisters in England and this week have been catching up with meal planning, jam making and batch cooking which I love. I manage to fit lots of country walks in and yesterday went cycling to meet OH after his paragliding day and we went and sat in a pub garden having a cheeky afternoon mid week drink:p.
I do most of the household chores and am just starting to grow a bit more in the garden. OH does some baking, will do bits that need doing if i haven't and is incredible:D

I do believe that if you both work then you both spend much more on 2 cars, petrol or travel costs, much more on food and convenience and feel more pressure to have things than if your out that whole loop.

I am not ruling out getting a pt local job in the next few months but it will be very part time if I can help it. Need to start saving for uni for my DD in 2 years time:eek:.

It will be lovely to read and chat with like minded people.

Sorry for the huge post:o

medsdemon

juliapenguin wrote: »

Personally I've always struggled with getting balance in my life in all sorts of ways, and for the last few years my focus has been on work, with my homemaker role not getting a look in. That takes its toll on my mental health, as a calm, clean(ish), peaceful environment is absolutely essential for me. I've also had some short periods of not being at work - either holidays if I've been in a term-time only job, or unemployment - when everything at house is spick and span but I'm lonely.

Maybe we can discuss ways in which we can find the balance between creating our 'ideal' home environment and the other things that we do, whether hobbies/interests at home and forays into the outside world of friends/work/voluntary work/outside interests?

In a society which makes some people feel they need to apologise for seeing 'homemaking' as their main or only job, how do we avoid buying into that way of thinking?

If you're at home all day on your own I think it's essential you spend some of it outside the home, perhaps lovely walks or cycles whatever the weather or doing an exercise class or swimming so you get to chat and interact with other people and build up some fitness to boost your happiness and help you sleep. If i don't do this I start to get a bit edgy, it just feels life affirming, breathing in the fresh air and enjoying my surroundings and makes me realise how truly lucky I really am. Or spend some time with your elderly neighbours. If you're lucky like me they do turn out to be incredibly fun and interesting.

SilverBird_2

Please add my name to the list. Thanks.