Depression

SoozieSoo

Thank you feelinggood. I am so scared of going to the doctor as I am worried others will think I am just being stupid. On the outside I probably have a nice life, loving husband, lovely child, but on the inside I just feel so useless.

My child has been at school a few years and my husband is making noises about me going back to work. I really do not think I could cope with any kind of job at the moment and don’t know what to do. Being at home for so long has kind of helped me manage these feelings as home is “safe”.

I once went to a doctor about 8 years ago, after my child was born, as I was feeling very low. The doctor refused to help and this has put me off ever going again. I know I need to go, but am worried he will just tell me to get over myself.

feelinggood_2

SoozieSoo wrote:

Thank you feelinggood. I am so scared of going to the doctor as I am worried others will think I am just being stupid. On the outside I probably have a nice life, loving husband, lovely child, but on the inside I just feel so useless.

My child has been at school a few years and my husband is making noises about me going back to work. I really do not think I could cope with any kind of job at the moment and don’t know what to do. Being at home for so long has kind of helped me manage these feelings as home is “safe”.

I once went to a doctor about 8 years ago, after my child was born, as I was feeling very low. The doctor refused to help and this has put me off ever going again. I know I need to go, but am worried he will just tell me to get over myself.

The worse thing that will happen is you will go and he will tell you to get over it. Thats happened to me before - I went to the doctors not long after the rape, and he said to me that my problems were all my own fault and I needed to grow up and stop complaining. I was 13. And it hurt like hell. But you've got to go back. So, if the doctor doesn't help, you go back to another doctor. You are struggling, and they are there to help. They are people too, and they aren't infalliable - I'm sorry you had a bad experience before, but try and get back there and let them know about how you are feeling. Attitudes to depression are changing all the time, and there is a lot more help avaiable than there was 8 years ago.

I know on paper our lives can look so perfect, but please don't hide your pain away - talk to people, open up and let people help you.

You need to be honest with your partner and explain that you don't feel ready to go back to work. If he has never suffered with depression, it might take a lot of explaining before he understands what you need to get better. Don't put off going back to work out of fear, but don't go back if you know you aren't ready.

You are not being stupid, keep telling yourself that this is just an illness and you are not worthless xxx

Tiff_2

SoozieSoo wrote:

I am a regular poster, but feel I need to hide my identity.

I have been feeling very down for the past few years. Recently I am consumed with thoughts of jealousy. Whenever a friend or family member has good news, I cannot feel happy for them, just rage and jealous that it is not me. This leads to feelings of worthlessness and that I am not a “good” person because I don’t have their good fortune.

I am also starting to have feelings that I want to hurt others emotionally, by for example sending my best friend a letter saying her husband is having an affair. I don’t know why I have these feelings?

Am I depressed? I am too scared to talk to anyone about this, even my husband, as I don’t want people to think I am bad. I am also very tier all the time and just have a general feeling of not wanting to do anything.

Hi sooz hun!
I'm sorry you're feeling this way angel. Why do you feel the need to hide your identity sweetheart? That's a shame - I'd hate to think that you have to be someone else or struggle alone, when I hope you know that the group here really do care about each other. As a regular, I'm sure you're aware that we don't judge people here hun.;) In fact, opening up to us about your identity may enable us to help you more with your problem hun because we've all travelled a long road together and we'd have more info to know how to advise you.
Have you felt this way for long sweetie?
I can't stop right now hun but we're all here for you.:T
You were brave enough to post that message angel and thanks for sharing. We are family here - and that includes you too! Post any time angel or feel free to pm me in confidence... might know who you are - but what's important, is that you're asking for help and you don't need to worry about people thinking you're bad. There's no such thing as a bad person on this thread imho.
Big hugs hun.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

learning_to_drive

Had a terrible day, but Im ok, Ive got through it all, not a terrible day in terms of condition or being down, just stress stress stress.

Car sales etc etc etc,hopefully sold it though, £3400 with damage, £3550 without damage, so hopefully that will be sorted on Friday, once we have paid the debt which is tomorrow via cheque, I will then funnel the various sums of cash around, as soon as the money hits my first direct account, I will cancel the overdraft facility on that account.

Plans, plans, plans,

feelinggood_2

learning_to_drive wrote:

Had a terrible day, but Im ok, Ive got through it all, not a terrible day in terms of condition or being down, just stress stress stress.

Car sales etc etc etc,hopefully sold it though, £3400 with damage, £3550 without damage, so hopefully that will be sorted on Friday, once we have paid the debt which is tomorrow via cheque, I will then funnel the various sums of cash around, as soon as the money hits my first direct account, I will cancel the overdraft facility on that account.

Plans, plans, plans,

Well done on the plans LTD, looks like everything is coming together. Keep us posted, and try and keep positive, we all know you are gonna do this

Pumpkin_Pie_5

So although the meds take weeks to work, the side effects start straight away then:(
In nausea
Pumpkin xx

feelinggood_2

Pumpkin_Pie wrote:

So although the meds take weeks to work, the side effects start straight away then:(
In nausea
Pumpkin xx

*gentle huggles*
Some of them do have quite bad side effects, but they do usually go when you start to get used to them. I still get occasional heartburn from mine now, but not as bad as it used to be. Hope you feel better soon, make sure you put your feet up x

Pumpkin_Pie_5

learning_to_drive wrote:

Had a terrible day, but Im ok, Ive got through it all, not a terrible day in terms of condition or being down, just stress stress stress.

Car sales etc etc etc,hopefully sold it though, £3400 with damage, £3550 without damage, so hopefully that will be sorted on Friday, once we have paid the debt which is tomorrow via cheque, I will then funnel the various sums of cash around, as soon as the money hits my first direct account, I will cancel the overdraft facility on that account.

Plans, plans, plans,

Plans are good - Plans mean there is a tomorrow and its going to be better than today - Keep planning:T
Pumpkin xxx

Sazbo

SoozieSoo wrote:

I am a regular poster, but feel I need to hide my identity.

I have been feeling very down for the past few years. Recently I am consumed with thoughts of jealousy. Whenever a friend or family member has good news, I cannot feel happy for them, just rage and jealous that it is not me. This leads to feelings of worthlessness and that I am not a “good” person because I don’t have their good fortune.

I am also starting to have feelings that I want to hurt others emotionally, by for example sending my best friend a letter saying her husband is having an affair. I don’t know why I have these feelings?

Am I depressed? I am too scared to talk to anyone about this, even my husband, as I don’t want people to think I am bad. I am also very tier all the time and just have a general feeling of not wanting to do anything.

Hi sooz

Quite a lot of different aspects to what you've posted hun - jealousy, rage, feelings of worthlessness, not feeling you are 'good', needing to feel 'safe'. Some of us here have experienced very similar feelings, so please don't feel you need to hide who you are - we are all friends here hun, quite a close-knit little family!:) Key thing is that you feel ready to accept help and move forward in your life. Take care, Sazx

Alex_Galt

Had a few hours sleep this afternoon - so feeling much better.
Hope will get some sleep tonight.

Glad to hear everyone's good news - keep it up guys