Depression

Sazbo

Well, I think it's a good thing hun. We need you here:) All we can do is get through one day at a time. Big hugs RBK hunnie, Sazzyxxxxxxx

EthelBloggs

razorbladekisses wrote: »

Hello all you lovely people.



Ethel I'm not sure if your daughter knows that you post on here but tell her we're all thinking of her. How are you coping hun? Enjoy the time with your daughter this afternoon. Let us know how it goes.



To everyone else :hello:

I didn't feel that great last night, well early hours of this morning about 4am. I had a huge urge to OD. My head just kept making me want to do it. I couldn't seem to get rid of the thoughts. I eventually drifted off to sleep which was probably a good thing. I hate myself for even contemplating overdosing again. The consequences are awful so why the !!!! is it the only thing that I keep thinking about! I guess I just want to hurt/punish myself for being me.

Lol, I dunno if enjoy is the right word.. it's quite difficult at times spending time with her.. but i was gonna go bootsing ( you seen the boots thread?) on the way and get her some treats so she'll be happy with that.. she's always happy if you've got presents, lol

I'm so glad you didn't hurt yourself last night.. we'd not have known where you were if you were in hospital and so been worrying.. apart from the fact that you're very much needed and wanted here with us.

Why would you want to punish yourself for being you? None of the things that happened to your family that you told us about are your fault.. Nothing that happens in life deserves the pain you put yourself through, I wish you could see that. From what i've seen of you you're a very sweet, genuine caring person with so much to give - I always appreciate your input, in fact a lot of times I look for it, even if I don't say so

I spose, by contrast, I see things from the other side, I know how devastating it is when someone you care about feels so bad that they want to die and there's nothing you can do to make them feel better or take away that pain. It's a horrible feeling.. helpless and guilty and angry and all kinds of things all rolled into one.. if that makes sense?

Im gettng a bit rambly now.. so I'll shut up, lol

Lots of love and hugs for you tho RBK.. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sugar_Coated_Owl

Thank you guys for the supportive posts.

I can't really explain why I'm like I am. I don't really know myself.

learning_to_drive

No one knows why we are like we are RBK, otherwise we would all be happy and take a magic tablet. Sometimes its PTSD (post trauma), sometimes its conditional (death etc).

Tonight im going to write my story, was speaking with my g/f about what happened last night, and its gonna be a good thing to do. Plus i am clear about my feelings now, about what i feel towards certain people.

Let_Robinson_Sing

Hey Lovelies

Just a quick update. I am in Glasgow at the moment with parents and elder brother. Feel a bit anxious as its a new place but i'll be ok later on. (I hope!)

LTD - Good luck tonight with your story.

RBK - sorry about what happened last night *hugs* take care of yourself hun, we all feel like that sometimes.

Gilly - Hope you are ok, hope you did the best in your exam

Ethel - Hope things are ok with DD, have a nice weekend

Tiff - Do you ever sleep hun? hope you are having a nice weekend

Sabomber - It's nice to see you around, hope all is well hun!

beer2006 - take care have a nice weekend

Rose - hope you are feeling ok hun.

Take care everyone

*huggs*

learning_to_drive

Hi I will start writing it I feel soon, supposed to be playing footy tomorrow, was on for a start tomorrow I felt, as I was running upstairs yesterday night my back went again, its looking less and less likely

Its hurting now

learning_to_drive

And strangely it feels better now

Ahhhh well, i'll be fine for tomorrow

Sazbo

learning_to_drive wrote: »

Hi I will start writing it I feel soon, supposed to be playing footy tomorrow, was on for a start tomorrow I felt, as I was running upstairs yesterday night my back went again, its looking less and less likely

Its hurting now

Hey LTD :hello: Sorry to hear that hun. I know how important it is for you to play and show that you rightly deserve yr place on the team. But if you're having back problems then you need to put that first babe, y'know?

Sazxxx

learning_to_drive

Very true, I'll make a decision tomorrow, it's calmed down a hell of a lot, I dont think football is to blame, I think there is another issue, that hopefully I will get sorted, Ill make the decision tomorrow based upon whether it causes me a lot of discomfort, but ultimately if the injury causes me to reduce my performance in any way.

BTW I haven't conceded in 180 minutes of football

Sazbo

learning_to_drive wrote: »

Very true, I'll make a decision tomorrow, it's calmed down a hell of a lot, I dont think football is to blame, I think there is another issue, that hopefully I will get sorted, Ill make the decision tomorrow based upon whether it causes me a lot of discomfort, but ultimately if the injury causes me to reduce my performance in any way.

BTW I haven't conceded in 180 minutes of football

well done you! :T Petr Cech eat yr heart out;) But IMHO not worth risking yr back, even tho there is a lot at stake for you wanting to play, i know.

Sazzyxxx