Depression

feelinggood_2

Things can get better Gillette - people can recover and be 'cured'. I've known people who've lived with depression for 10, 20, 30 or 40 years and have found happiness.

I know it feels like your thoughts make things happen, just keep trying to fight that voice, try and remind yourself that you are not to blame for bad things that happen.

Any side effects with the new AD's, or are they suiting you well?

Thinking of you and yours x

Sazbo

new_mum_again wrote:

Im just on my way out to pick kids up from school but thought i would post as i am sooo proud of myself and hopefully someone on here will understand but today i managed to go to the dentist and have 2 fillings on my own it is something that other people do without thinking about but i suffer from panic attacks and a fear of dentists and a few other things that i wont bore you with. It is also the first time i have been there without my mum who sadly died 28/09/05. I know its sad a 31yr old mum of 3 needing her mum to go to the dentists with her but hey that was me!!:o Gotta rush will pop back in later after kids in bed:wave:

Hi new mum and welcome! :wave: Post anytime. Good on you re fillings - I hate going to the dentist! You were close to your mum and associate certain things with her always being there for you; totally understandable. Catch you later. Sazx

Sazbo

elona wrote:

New Mum

:j :j :j

Give yourself a huge pat on the back! Your mum would have been proud of you. I used to hate going to the dentist too - but it does get better.

Gilly Congratulations on your new person.

Miro

Big hug.


FG

Rather than paying for special mould and mildew remover try a bleach solution with hot water first.

Have just had a posh open sandwich with german rye bread, smoked trout and a gherkin slice. happy bunny now. DH and DD enjoying the home made soup I made in the slow cooker.

Hi elona hun :hello: How are you today? Posh sandwich sounds fab... which reminds me, I haven't had my lunch yet...:doh:

PS slow cookers are fab aren't they? I'm a total convert.
Sxx

Sazbo

feelinggood wrote:

I'm just on a downer today, its days like this that I don't want to fight to get better, sometimes I just want to give up, just give in to the demons and do what it is I want to do. I'm resisting though. ODAAT, just got to get through this particularly nasty one!

Good on you for resisting. You're a good example to me! Hugs xx

Sazbo

gillette147 wrote:

Hi folks,

Up and down today.
My Chemical Romance (chemical=AD, Romance="friend") must be working and I have been on phone to all sorts of people. Dole say they were only waiting for a form from my old employer so a decision will be very soon as it arrived today. I've booked a jobsearch interview for 12:30 tomorrow and I'm going to see a job agency tomorrow 2:30 too!! I have also sorted out a place on the safety course i am going to do - starts MONDAY eek!!!

I was too late to do the learn at home so I gotta jump in deep end and do all week in london on a full-time course. Scared coz i now need to go from slob to student in 6 days!!

Even phoned Alliance and Leicester about overdraft fees they charged when i went overdrawn for 2 days. They offered me 1/2 back or i have to write in and make a complaint. I took half but i mite still write in - worth a stamp.

So I've pretty much tackled everthing today.

But now the downside.....

My niece who I love like a daughter is 8 months pregnant. She started bleeding yesterday and she is in hospital. They don't know what it is but are saying all their tests are showing that it's all ok. AND my uncle (who is also my great friend) who has cancer (the slowest one I'm told) is having kemo. He phoned me up (we do talk, but this is quite soon after xmas) and didn't really have anything to say. I know from experience how people act who are thinking they are going to die. I feel worried and can just tell how bad he must be feeling.

My life always takes a hit whenever it looks like I can be happy. That's why I have depression - if i allow myself to be happy then someone dies. I have some reasons to be happier this week so is there a cost? I just hope the cost is just that I have to do some worrying about two people I love rather than the cost is that something actually happens to them.

I have to spend my life thinking the worst or I jinx it. Whenever I walk to my parked car I have to approach it thinking "it's not safe to think it's not been broken into or stolen" right up until I have got back and can see it is alright.

It's not a happy way to live - it feels like a test from god.

So today I am happy really - but having to go through a load of OCD-type worrying.

Do people who have been unhappy all their lives finally find happiness?
Or are we just a type? Destined to be like this forever?

I have always had a feeling that MSE will save my life. That all the answers to life are somewhere on the threads. I know that may sound ridiculous to most of you but I have huge hopes for this place. The whole spectrum of life is contained here. You get what you give on here and I give everything.

Love to you all

Gilly you are without doubt an all or nothing kind of person - and we on this thread are the beneficiaries of that. I wish I could tell you that those who deserve happiness always get it - but I can't of course. But what defines us is that we won't stop striving for it. What a wonderful thing that is. It's really us testing ourselves - we are our own biggest critics. Sometimes we just need to give ourselves a break, you know?

You are happy today - we all rejoice in that :T

Much love,
Sazzy xx

gillette147

I am in floods of tears.
I don't know if it's the ADs or life.
I don't cry.

This just feels like the most important day in my life.

Sazbo

gillette147 wrote:

I am in floods of tears.
I don't know if it's the ADs or life.
I don't cry.

This just feels like the most important day in my life.

Does it feel like a release Gillette? Talk about it if that will help. Big hugs, Sazzyxxx

EthelBloggs

evenin everyone

gilly have a massive cuddle from me.. sorry I can only reach to your knees Not sure what i can say that would be helpful.. it's like feelie says.. one day at a time xx

well.. I got my new router, no more stealing internet from next door, lol
also went to lidl and got a bit of shopping.. omg ppl were huffing n puffing cos i could only do the packing one handed so I held up proceedings quite a bit

Other than that, nothing to report cept I am very sleepy for some reason, not sure if its the painkillers or real tiredness.. might go and veg out on the sofa in a bit with the tv, and fall asleep

Hope everyone's fine xxx

Sazbo

EthelBloggs wrote:

evenin everyone

gilly have a massive cuddle from me.. sorry I can only reach to your knees Not sure what i can say that would be helpful.. it's like feelie says.. one day at a time xx

well.. I got my new router, no more stealing internet from next door, lol
also went to lidl and got a bit of shopping.. omg ppl were huffing n puffing cos i could only do the packing one handed so I held up proceedings quite a bit

Other than that, nothing to report cept I am very sleepy for some reason, not sure if its the painkillers or real tiredness.. might go and veg out on the sofa in a bit with the tv, and fall asleep

Hope everyone's fine xxx

Hiya hun :hello: I'm kinda in and out:D You veg away! That's what I'll be doing in a bit:D Love, Sazbombxxx

gillette147

I've stabilised now lol.
I think i've caught PMT - is that possible?