First home with partner = how much to pay???

con1888

Some advice needed - have touched on it before but the issue I had specifically before is sorted.

What I need advice with is how much to pay him.

Some info= he owns the house, he bought it himself and he is a first time buyer. We have been together for 2 years and a bit now.

So what I am wondering is, should I only pay half the bills? Do you think I should also pay half the mortgate (bearing in mind that in the event of a split I would receive nothing) or should I pay 1/2 the bills and a percentage of the mortgage/money for 'board' and if so, how much?

We are both unsure, he is a really indecisive person and hasn't actually stated amount just asked ' what I think I should pay'. I don't want to take the P out of him but at the same time don't want it taken out of myself.

I move in next month and need to set up a standing order.


Thanks in advance for any advice.

kiki*_2

Personally I would expect to pay half of everything if I'm living there and eating etc then you are using it as your own.

con1888

kiki* wrote: »

Personally I would expect to pay half of everything if I'm living there and eating etc then you are using it as your own.

Thanks for the reply. Even the mortgage?

Paying half of the bills/food is no question I will be doing that regardless it is just paying half of the mortgage I am unsure of, a few people have told me that it wouldn't be fair for me to do so as I would be paying towards a house that potentially in the future if anything was to happen between him I would have basically paid for half of his house and not get anything back. At the same time I would have to pay rent if I rented alone from a private landlord or the council so...

I am pretty torn. Want a few different views so keep them coming guys.

kiki*_2

Again only my personal opinion but I would pay half the mmortgage too. If you were renting together and split you wouldn't get anything.

kiki*_2

Maybe start paying half of everything and then he may say he didn't expect it all?

con1888

kiki* wrote: »

Again only my personal opinion but I would pay half the mmortgage too. If you were renting together and split you wouldn't get anything.

This is true, but neither would he, none of us would 'gain' whereas with him owning this house he would gain out of it.

I'm sorry I keep giving negatives to the answers, it's not necessarily my personal oppinions, just counter arguments people have given me but these people are mainly my friends so don't see from a neutral viewpoint.

Little_Miss_Shopaholic

My boyfriend moved into my house nearly two years ago. He pays half of all the house hold bills including the mortgage. It is his home as well. He also pays half of the repairs too (because he wants to. I never ask)

It works for us.

That said the house is on the market as we are buying a bigger house together

HKitten

I would pay half of everything, and discuss the idea of him putting your name on the mortgage after 6 months or a year. That way, you get a trial period of living together without him signing over half his house immediately, then you can make the commitment a joint thing once you're settled.

If you're living there then it's only fair to pay half - if you weren't living there you'd have to pay all the rent elsewhere after all. And no matter how much he refuses to name an amount, probably to avoid asking for too much, he may very well resent you if you decide to only pay half the bills and leave it at that.

Yes, it's a leap of faith to pay money for a period of time into a house that you won't get anything out of, but I think that's an acceptable risk if you're confident about the relationship. Just make sure your name goes on the house eventually

rosie-lee

When I moved in with OH, we did just what you are suggesting.

I don't know your situation but, We hadnt lived together before and whilst we had known each other for a long time had only been in a serious relationship for less than 12 months. I had just turned 30 and had enough experience to know that despite how certain I was that he was 'the one', things can and do go wrong.

The last thing I wanted to be doing if I was nursing another broken heart was arguing or even having discussions over money. Clean break, I would move out and my deposit was still safely tucked away in the bank.

For us, as a couple it made perfect sense. He chose the house, and the mortgage was solely his. so it wasn't really 'our' house. I lived with him, paid Council Tax there and we set up a joint account which took into account all the bills and shopping....in those distance days there was always enough left over for a couple of nights out as well!!

The understanding, as I recall was that if it went wrong, no arguments, I moved out and got myself somewhere else. Obviously I had been able to save as I didn't pay rent/contribute towards the mortgage.

Fast forward to the baby years, 3 houses and one self-build later and ... my savings all went as a welcome deposit on the next house and we now live pretty much from one pot. The next place went in joint names and although we are not married everything is shared and joint.

Over the next few weeks, you and he will work out what is comfortable for you hopefully. If it leads to a row ... run for the hills!!! But it wont. You have your idea about what is fair and he is probably just being a typical man and mulling it over but will eventually see that you speak sense.

Best of luck to you - be happy x

con1888

HKitten, I can't go on the mortgage for some time as I have debt problems. It isn't huge debt, it's around a thousand pounds but I have some defaults. I don't pay any of them at the moment as I admit I have been too irresponsible.

He just text me there and suggested I pay 1/2 the bills and what I would pay towards mortgage I should pay towards my debts so that the are cleared as soon as . He hasn't said what he thinks we should do when they are clear, as it will still be a considerable amount of years after that before I can co-own.

Do you think that is fair or is it unfair towards him that I would be paying nothing towards mortgage? I know it's his suggestion but like I say I don't want to take the P.

shegar

Why not ask your boyfriend if he wouldnt mind you being put on the mortgage through land registry via a solicitor so you each own half................?...That way should you ever split up and youve been paying him half you will at least have half shares in the house..........