Separation money question

ellay864

When I spilt with the ex we went through mediation. You have a neutral person who works with you together, they can look at both parties finances and work out an amicable reasonable split. We each had separate accounts as well as joint ones, ex had share options in his name only but effectively taken on behalf of both of us (we worked for the same compnay but as he earnt more he could pay the options more readily). All of that was taken into account, plus pensions so we came to a point where we got to what we both felt was a fair settlement. We had 2 young sons so we also worked through payments to support them and access arrangements
We had solicitors involved only at the very end to rubber stamp things and it saved a fortune and kept things much more civilised, while still having benefit of legal advice

happygolottie

When it comes to the kids generally the woman is favoured with the exception of cases where a father may be the househusband.
RE: money and settlement best thing is to avoid the solicitors as far as possible and use mediation. Solicitors generally fuel the fire and end up the only ones that benefit from the situation.
Depending on your capabilities actually going to court to get the divorce you can do by yourself and even the decision for how the children are cared for as these family courts (unless exceptional circumstances) tend to follow a set procedure so are not difficult to follow

RAS

Hi

if you have a joint bank account and the relationship iis over, you need to write to the bank and tell them that all future withdrawals must have both signatures. Do the same for any other joint accounts. Otherwise that £3000 OD could well be £5000 soon.

Chances are she will get part of the inheritance if that is still around at the date of the divorce. It might be better to pay off the OD and close the account. Then clear any personal debts.

mackemdave

The finacial split will never be 50/50 if there are kids involved...You are looking at 70/30 or even 80/20...The courts first prioroty is to ensure the kids are housed by the parent who the live with...If you agree joint custody then things might even out but you would need to have them stay with you for 3.5 days/wk

RAS

mackemdave wrote: »

The finacial split will never be 50/50 if there are kids involved...You are looking at 70/30 or even 80/20...The courts first prioroty is to ensure the kids are housed by the parent who the live with...If you agree joint custody then things might even out but you would need to have them stay with you for 3.5 days/wk

Where do you get those figures from?

I have seen 60/40 but not the greater splits to which you refer, unless there really is very little to split.

victory

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mackemdave

The OP is on about getting the house valued and expecting his wife to buy out his share...The courts might allow his stb ex to remain in the house until the kids have finished their education...talk of a 50/50 split is fantasy if his ex is going to have custody of the kids

RAS

mackemdave wrote: »

The OP is on about getting the house valued and expecting his wife to buy out his share...The courts might allow his stb ex to remain in the house until the kids have finished their education...talk of a 50/50 split is fantasy if his ex is going to have custody of the kids

Very often now that does not happen, because people want to severe their financial arrangements.

The courts might allow it but they might also decide that a sale is the best option. Or her new squeeze might want to replace him on the mortgage?

And if the courts do insist on the house being retained, she will be wholly responsible for paying the mortgage, and when it is sold he will be entitled to a charge valued at roughly half the current value.

Bubby

RAS wrote: »

Where do you get those figures from?

I have seen 60/40 but not the greater splits to which you refer, unless there really is very little to split.

Most people I know with young children are able to stay in the house until the children are out of full time education, selling the family home is normally a last resort

victory

Bubby wrote: »

Most people I know with young children are able to stay in the house until the children are out of full time education, selling the family home is normally a last resort

In my brothers situation at mediation I think he insisted the house be sold and go 50/50 on the sale so that 'they could both start again afresh' whether my SIL wanted to stay in the house I am not sure on that one but they sold and got two seperate individual houses from the sale of the family home