How do you know when it's time to let go?

Scrapaholic

This is the part of having pets that's really hard . Our cat was pts last year . The vet said if he wasn't doing the things he usually enjoyed ,and he wasn't,then it was maybe time . She was very kind and said she thought it was the right thing to do for him . That was reassuring for us but still heartbreaking. It's a comfort to know he had a good life , was looked after and we were with him till the end. Best wishes .

Astara

It's so hard but I think you will know when you are going to do that final act of kindness. Talk to her and ask her to give you a sign when she's ready. That's what I did with my Siamese and he lay down on the bathroom mat and was obviously very poorly. I've talked to my other remaining old boy who's 19 and a half about it as he was ill recently so he knows that when he wants to go I'll take him in. But I know I will feel the same as you because you have had her so long and are so attached to her. You will be giving her a gift of love and that's a beautiful thing.

There_Goes_Trouble

meritaten wrote: »

all I can say is that twice I feel I held on too long to my much loved pet.
the first time was my dog Megan - I was told her kidneys and other organs were failing but it was only when she became incontinent and there was more blood than wee - did I do the kind thing and take her to be PTS.
The second was my cat Nicki - who had Feline Aids - I KNOW that I kept him too long.............. What I am trying to say is that the last few weeks I KNEW nicki should be PTS - but wouldnt do it because of MY feelings of grief and loss. I wasnt thinking what would be best for Nicki!

Thank you for this post, it's brave to admit you held on too long although I'm sure every one reading totally understands the reasons why.

A friend of mine held on too long with her dog and put him through all sorts of tests and surgery. She bitterly regretted it. It's people like her and you who share these experiences, that help people like me make better decisions.

The other thing I made myself do some years before my dog died, was to decide how I wanted things to happen, whether to PTS at home, do I want individual cremation... etc. It meant that in the stress of the situation I didn't have to make decisions because I knew what I wanted. I did waver slightly from my plan once but I made myself stick to it, and I'm so glad I did. I know that sometimes the circumstances dictate how things have to happen, but I got lucky and was able to follow my plan and had everything how I wanted it to happen. It made a huge difference to how I was able to manage my grief.

catlovin_gal11

I think everyone on here has given good advice. I remember our vet telling us that when any animal is ill and hasn't a quality of life and stops eating and doing what they normally do, then it is the last and kindest act we can do for our beloved animals. We can only try to help them so far and I feel they do give us signals- either refusing to eat or they just seem uncomfortable. It doesn't make it easy for us, but we have to think of not putting our animals through any unnecessary discomfort because we love them and don't want them to linger in pain or discomfort. We have to put them before ourselves.

Katiehound

You have a hard decision to make and as I write this tears are trickling down my face! Its 2 years ago since I had to have my fantastic trailhound pts. There wasn't a cure for the lymphoma and only 2 weeks from diagnosis but I bit the bullet deciding I didn't want her to choke to death- that morning she ran in the field and other people said "She looks fine!" but she wasn't.........

I think you have to look at the quality of life if you hang on to your cat. As someone else said- I did it for myself. Well, in this instance you need to think of your cat and probably let him go. I haven't had cats as an adult but I seem to remember that looking for a dark place under a bush is finding somewhere to die.

Clearly lots of people are thinking of you, perhaps if you are really upset can you take someone else along? In the past I have always listened to the vet saying - just leave your dog with us, but with Katie I just sat there and held her as she slipped away.

Be kind to your cat....and then be kind to yourself

spike7451

Orbit fell ill,his back end was wobbly & he couldn't poo.I took him to the vets for help & the vet gave him an injection.When we got home,Orbit was not himself.He was lifeless & so unhappy looking.That night I took him onto the bed & lay awake all night with him next to me.
I had then resigned myself that it was time to lay him to rest,so the next day I would take him to the vets....
At 0755am the following morning,he jumped off the bed,made it to the hallway where he had a fit & was gone.It was the hardest thing I've ever seen & done,and I'm in tears typing this nearly 2 years later.
Orbit enjoying a pint...(he liked licking the creamy head off the stout & the ice cubes in my whisky)

Lirin

Our girl started by being very clingy, which was unusual. She kept looking at me, and following me around. Then she took to trying to get out, and not coming back for a bit. She'd always stuck reasonably close to the house before.

As others have said, it's hard, but most of the times, you do get a little sign- strange behaviour, unusual actions, something....

I'm so sorry and feel for you if it is your cat's time. It's hard letting go of them, and I've been in the vets before with my dogs being PTS- it is hard to watch. It's one of the hardest things to do, even when you know you've made the right decision.

Mrs_Z

About 1 week before we lost our cat, she started going on top of the kitchen cupboards and sleeping 24/7. She'd still come down for meals but that's all. About three days after that, she stopped eating and didnt want to come down but would still drink water if I gave it to her in a glass. Three days aftre that she stopped drinking the water too. We took her to the vets (Sat), they thought she had an infection of some sort and gave her an antibiotic and took a blood sample. I could see that the anti-biotic did not help as over the weekend she did not perk up. I could tell that she wanted to be left alone and sleep somewhere quiet. By this time I had arranged her a cardboard box in a wardrobe. We desperately tried giving her water through a syringe with no avail. Monday morning I could not find her anywhere - after a frantic search, we discovered her under the sofabed in a guest bedroom (she was black so difficult to spot). Rushed her back to the vets who put her to a drip and when I called them at lunch time she had indeed perked up and apparently was sitting down. What a relief I thought.

However, during the afternoon she had deteriorated and died at the vets on that afternoon. In the end she was found to have a growth around her heart so there would have not been anything they could have done for her. Had I known that, then I think I would have just let the nature take her course and have her pass away at home. But we didn't know that at the time and she was only 12. In the end I was grateful that I didn't have to make the decision, but if it is clear that your pet has had enough and there is no realistic prospect of them returning to health, then it must be kinder to let them go.

mouseymousey99

We are also going through this. My cat (Squeaky) is about 20. We went to the vets a few weeks ago, he had the blood test and his kidneys are failing. But, he is eating/pooing and generally seems ok with life. He has slowed right down though and is spending his days asleep by the window.

I hope nature takes it course here at home. The real problem for me is the OH. He loves and adores the cats. The last time though we had to have a little chap put down he ran out of the vets and left me with the cat on my lap ~ he is mortified now.

So, he is at home, we love him, the others seem to know he isn't well too. Like Mrs Z trying to let nature take its course.
Best wishes to everyone on the thread.

mouseymousey99

Took Squeaky to the vets this afternoon and had him put to sleep. He was such a brave little chap and fell asleep so very quickly. He had stopped eating and it was getting obvious it couldn't go on. I keep thinking its ok and he had such a good life but you know how it is. I have x4 others and that is a very good thing. We have no children so the cats are our children. If anyone is worried its a very quick thing, and I don't think he felt any pain in the end.