Daughter playing rough with kitten

Frugalista

One can't help but wonder what the OP would do if it were a few weeks old newborn baby that was being dragged around by it's neck?? Bet she would come up with a solution pretty damn quick in that situation.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

hayleyc wrote: »

The OP's daughter is only 2! Shouting and smacking is not going to help, she's far too young to really understand what she's doing and consistently be gentle without a lot of supervision and guidance.

Why didn't any of us kill or seriously injure our kittens at that age, then?

Why didn't my children ever hurt them?


Even a nine month old is capable of understanding what 'gently' means, it's pretty much one of the first words they learn in families with pets. Or should be. Of course a child needs to be supervised, but by two years old, they should already know that you are gentle with animals - not that Mummy will be cross if you punch them/whatever - it should be instilled into them so they never think any different.

Then smacking doesn't even appear on the horizon.

I would suggest that the only time the little one is allowed near the kitten is when there is time together on Mum's lap. And the moment she gets any way possessive or heavy handed, her hand is removed from the kitten and if she continues when allowed to touch the cat again, she is removed from Mum's lap and kitty is fussed and cuddled. I would also put a child gate between the kitten's sleeping and eating places and the little one, so that she only gets near the animal when she is well behaved and calm.

Chakani

I have a two year old, who has been around dogs and cats all his life, and is very good with them - he is never allowed to play with them unless I'm in a position to control his behaviour. If he was behaving like your daughter, that would be sitting on my lap (and it was, when he was smaller, and didn't understand how to treat animals - now I know he will listen to me from the other side of the room or the other end of the garden, I am much more relaxed, but I still watch him, because after all, he is only 2). You must teach her how to handle the kitten gently, and if she isn't doing that, she mustn't be allowed to handle him at all.

You need to stop the rough stuff before it starts - and it will take some really proactive parenting to reverse this now it has started. For example, have her sitting on your lap and allow the kitten to approach. If she grabs at his neck, take hold of her hands firmly before she has time to get hold of him, and say "No, that is not how we touch animals, we must be gentle, like this" - and show her how and where to stroke him. Maybe she doesn't understand that the kitten is the same as the older cats, or maybe she thinks he is a toy for her. Whatever the reason she is treating him differently, you really need to go right back to basics with her and stop it.

If you really can't control her behaviour, then it really would be kinder and more responsible to let the kitten go elsewhere.

For what it's worth, I don't smack children and I don't believe it is very helpful to shout at them frequently either, but I do believe parents should have control of their children and should be able to enforce good behaviour. I'm sorry if my post sounds harsh OP, it is meant to be helpful, but as the adult human in this equation, you are the only person who can change things here, and your post is all about what the kitten is doing and what the child is doing, but not about how the adults can change how they manage the situation, which is really the only thing you can change.

mouseymousey99

Just read through this thread. Well done for trying to find a solution.
I think the problem is your daughter is just too young to understand. Reading your problem I think you may have a bad ending and the child will either injure or kill the kitten. Neither is your daughters' 'fault'; but it is yours. If it happens the child will feel guilt for the rest of her life, when it is really a parenting problem.

Please accept this is not going to work the child is too young, and find a good home for the kitten.

emlou2009

I'm absolutely gobsmacked at this thread. The OP came asking for advice, not to be told she's an unfit parent.

She said she doesnt leave them unattended together and she said she has disciplined the child when she does something to the kitten. She said she has made it clear to the child that its unacceptable to do this. At two years old she is firstly just the age to test boundaries, if told to do something she will do the opposite, thats unfortunately what a toddler does. Its completely normal behaviour.

OP, what I would do is carry on as you are, since you say you as exercising discipline when she does this and are not leaving them together unsupervised. But I would perhaps step up the discipline a little more, personally I wouldn't rule out smacking if she's doing something which might potentially seriously injure the kitten. Have you tried taking away favourite things, my two year old would be gutted not to have yogurt after dinner or not be able to watch In The Night Garden before bed, taking away things she enjoys and only letting her have things as a reward for being nice to the kitten might work, as long as you stress repeatedly why its happening.

This thread would have had a totally different set of replies had it been posted anywhere else on the forum.

tiamai_d

All you can do is keep on as you are. Try and stop the rough playing as soon as you but if the kitten is still coming back for more, it can't be that traumatised by it.

And I agree, if this had been asked on another part of the forums, you would have gotten totally different replies.

Beckyy

If she knows how to handle a cat, then I would tell her she's not allowed to pick the kitten up at all. If she continues to do so tell her firmly that the cat will find a new home.

If she's playing (supervised) with the cat and starts to get too rough then straight away remove you daughter. Explain to her exactly what she done and tell her she's not allowed to pick up the kitten. Good luck.

Raksha

kittens are well equipped to give a sharp lesson to anyone doing something they don't like.

I'd be inclined to make sure the child is closely supervised (as in get down on the floor with her and the kitten, not just sitting in the same room) and make sure she is aware that you like/approve of the way she's playing with the kitten when she's being 'good' but as soon as the rough play starts, simply remove yourself and the kitten while your daughter works out what made you and kitten 'go away'