Daughter playing rough with kitten

WeirdoMagnet

Hi,

Not so much a pet behaviour question as a child behaviour question!

I think she probably does understand - our friend's nearly two-year old daughter knows about being gentle with our dog, even when she's tried to test the boundaries and be a bit rougher. They're (the child not the animal!) quite good a making you feel like they've had a battering even when you did a simple uh-uh! Little monkeys! :A

djbum_syd wrote: »

She carries the poor thing around with her hands around it's throat, drags it about by it's tail or legs and throws it around.

Firstly, I think you need to prevent her doing this - she mustn't be allowed to do it. I don't mean stopping her from doing it when in progress, she just mustn't be allowed to think it's OK. Your kitten is only little - he could easily get injured by your daughter, indeed, you don't know of any damage already occurring in his very young and still-growing body. The minute she looks like she's going to get carried away, you need to to step in to prevent it escalating - don't give her the chance to grab the kitten.

djbum_syd wrote: »

I've shouted at her, told her off, put her in time-out, taps on the hand, even the cat scratches her - but nothing seems to stop her doing this.

As well as praising her when she's being gentle, what about stopping her playing with the kitten the second she becomes rough? No need to lock her away - just stop her, pop her on the chair next to you for a few minutes. You'll (and in that I mean the whole family!) need to be consistent with her, and it might take a while, but she'll learn than rough play = no play. Be consistent with the 'punishment' (I hate that word!) too - always use the same one eg the removal of kitten play.

Good luck, and let us know how you get on.

Georgina

ETA: I echo the sentiment of Person_one - Positive reinforcement isn't just for dogs!

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

I got our youngest cat because our neighbour's toddler was caught (by me) dangling the thing off a third floor balcony by the throat despite repeated tellings off by his ineffectual mother. Thankfully, she had the guts and love for the kitten to decide that the cat was going to end up dead and offered me the fluffbag the following weekend. It isn't a particularly smart cat, to say the least, and the vet thinks that she suffered at least some degree of brain damage through either being choked repeatedly or being thrown from a height by the child.


Unless you want to be posting 'I'm in trouble because my two year old snapped the neck of the kitten and the vet contacted the RSPCA and Social Services', I suggest you separate your daughter from the poor little thing. Not smacking your daughter is all very well, but refusing to smack her with the result that she kills a baby animal?


I certainly never behaved that way with my mother's cats. My children NEVER behaved that way with my cats.


You must do more to physcially defend the kitten and defend your daughter and your parenting style less.

CFC

A few harsh comments here but possibly the baby tears are tantrum tears not tears of sorrow. My nearly 2 yr old god son will hit his mum's small dogs in a nasty fashion on occasion if not watched - with him it's jealousy, we think. Time out or smack follows and the tears are proper 'poor me, tantrum tantrum' tears at not getting his own way or being told off.
My god son is not allowed to get near the dogs in any way but a 'nice' way. He knows fine well how to stroke the dogs nicely however he does not always choose to do that, he wants to do what he wants. You may be experiencing a similar issue.
Personally I think it is quite a good thing in an odd way because otherwise I know his mum would leave him in a room with the mutts without any worries, which gives me the vapours at that age. However I have learned to keep quiet on that issue because it's her son and her dogs.

dizziblonde

So basically the blame for this is being put soundly on the kitten and you're not actually going to do anything to prevent it happening and just wanted a pat on the back?

Poor little mite (the kitten not the kid).

liney

My son was 3 when we had our first kitten and was told catagorically that he was not to pick up the kitten, full stop. This was incase he dropped him, or was scratched/bitten as children have a habit of putting their faces close to kittens who like to swipe at blinking eyes.

He could stroke him, sit down and encourage it to come onto his lap, and throw/waggle toys, but if the kitten wanted to leave he could not stop him and was banned from picking him up.

It's NEW RULES time. She plays with the cat without picking up/pullign at, or she doesn't play with the cat at all.

cheepskate_2

Sorry o.p, but this is more about your parenting skills .

If at 2 you cannot parent your child properly in that she consistently does the same thing time and time again, even when you are sitting near her, then there is a lack of parental control.

If it means you can only have your child and cat together when they are both sitting at your side, so you can oversee, then thats what it takes.

If your child was going to touch a fire/ run out into the road, what would you do to instill into her she couldn't.

Take the same care and patience to instill that the cat doesn't get injured.

vroombroom

can you bring her toys in the room to play with, rather than the kitten?

Or just move the kitten away when you see your daughter going for it? You must be able to move quicker than her?

My OH's 7 year old (devil from hell) niece has teased my Westie on more than one occasion, I've raised at my voice and told her stop but she continues. Her mother and OH were saying nothing to her so I simply told her if she carried on she would not be coming to my house anymore. I will not tolerate it.

DebiT

This is why so many animal rescue centres wont home kittens to people who have small children. The children dont know how to handle them (they think they are a toy), and the parents seem unable to get the message through that they arent.
Meanwhile the poor animal is being traumatised by this rough and dangerous handling.
If the child can't be taught (or wont listen) then the poor animal should be handed over to a home where it can get some peace. Sorry to sound harsh but if the child wont be told, theres nothing else for it, either that or end up with a dead kitten.

donnap83

bagginslover wrote: »

Have you really, REALLY shouted at her? Put the fear of god into her-shouted at her?

Sounds harsh I know, but if she is being as rough as you say, she is at serious risk of seriously injuring or killing that kitten, you need to stop it, now.

Also, tapping her hand, naughty step?! I really don't think those are tough enough, even for a 2 year old, not in these curcumstanses. Time to drop the new-fangled soft approach and get tough.

My mum used to roar at me when i was a naughty tot. And i used to get a right wallop. Or a red raw !!!!!. I'm 28 now, don't think it did me any harm.

hayleyc_2

The OP's daughter is only 2! Shouting and smacking is not going to help, she's far too young to really understand what she's doing and consistently be gentle without a lot of supervision and guidance. Children that age need to be shown the correct behaviour, not told. I.E hold her hands and gently stroke the kitten with her hands. 'Use your gentle hands, giver her a lovely stroke etc'. When she tries to pick up the kitten, can you maybe give her a dolly or a cuddly toy cat and tell her that the kitten stays on the floor and doesn't like being picked up? Perhaps she's picking the kitten up and running off because she knows it'll get a reaction, or that you're going to take the kitten away if she lets it go? It's really hard at that age because it's difficult to supervise all the time and there's no way you can hold her accountable for her actions.