Christening/ baptism should I or shouldn't i?

swimsink

CH27 wrote: »

Children also need to be baptised if you want them to attend a Church school.

Me and my older brother were not baptised and yet both attended a church school and thats YEARS ago so I doubt that they would have brought that rule in since. Usually they abolish these rules in more modern times?

Teenie_D

Our primary school is one of the most popular schools in the area and I reckon the majority of kids there aren't catholic or even attend church. TBH if it was just for catholic children I honestly doubt they would be able to fill the classes, maybe that's the reason?? I know that one of my friends is putting her wee boy there and I doubt she has even entered a church .

peachyprice

CH27 wrote: »

Children also need to be baptised if you want them to attend a Church school.

I'm not sure they would actually need to be, but they would fall further down the admissions criteria if they weren't.

However, why on earth would you want to send a child to a church school if you weren't prepared to embrace the religion entirely?

Debbie_A_3

swimsink wrote: »

Me and my older brother were not baptised and yet both attended a church school and thats YEARS ago so I doubt that they would have brought that rule in since. Usually they abolish these rules in more modern times?

Different schools do have different rules, and there is certainly a distinction between RC and CofE schools. Even at a single school, the rules are not so black-and-white. Take a look at this RC school in Birmingham (taking it simply as an example): http://www.sjw.bham.sch.uk/Pdfs/admissionspolicy2012.pdf
Admission is not restricted to to Baptised Catholic children, but they do get to the front of the queue.

Debbie

Abbafan1972

flutterby_lil wrote: »

I am catholic and have had my son baptised, partly as I want him to go to a good school but partly as it was expected by my grandma and grandad who go to church every day. I hope this faith is listened to by god tomorrow as my grandad has just found out he has cancer on friday and is having an operation tomorrow. Good luck grandad.

I take my son to church one sunday in 4 - heis about to start school next september so feel i have to do this to get him into the one i want. I am not particularly religious but feel i need to go .

Surely Baptism doesn't mean he can automatically go to a "good" school :cool:. I certainly wouldn't do it either because a relative "expected it" of me. I personally don't care what what other people think. I was never Baptised, neither was my DH, my kids haven't either because we are not religious. nor churchgoers.

Good luck to your Grandad, btw.

TonyMMM

My kids went to catholic primary, and I certainly had to produce their baptism certificates as part of the application process. As the top selection criteria for the school (which was very oversubscribed) was the "catholicity of the family", your chance of a place would be greatly reduced without.

margaretclare

The idea that 'they can decide for themselves when they're old enough' is fine just so long as they DO decide on something rather than nothing. Wasn't it Hilaire Belloc who said that 'when people stop believing in God they don't believe in nothing, they believe in anything'. And that, in essence, is what's wrong in today's world. We have lost the 'moral compass' that we once had, the Ten Commandments, the Golden Rule.

Of course, the Baptist Church has long held that baptism is only meaningful when done in full knowledge and personal decision. That's fine. I have a lot of respect for them, but they do welcome children from babyhood onwards - they don't just raise a child in a completely irreligious atmosphere and then expect the child to decide on baptism when he/she is old enough. That won't happen.

To have a child baptised just to get into a particular school is, I feel, quite reprehensible.

DH came from another religious background and what equates to 'baptism' there is actually a lot more physical - certainly for a little boy - than having water poured on your head. He can't get away from that - there's a little bit of skin missing! However, he chose to attend church with me and in his 70th year he was baptised and confirmed in the church where we were married.

Naf

LilacPixie wrote: »

When i was pregnant with baby number 1 we decided that we would let them choose there own religion when they felt the time was right.. now I am having second thoughts. I take the kids to church with me after all so its hardly me being an impartial parent and letting them choose is it.

How so? They will not be in a position to make an informed decision if you have not brought them up to know about Church teachings. I find that many people who choose not to attend any Church after being brought up in a Churchgoing household are grateful for it. (Obviously you can't please everyone mind).

I don't believe newborn children have any need of Baptism. It is for the remission of sins after all (Acts 2:38), and to sin you need an understanding of right from wrong, and the ability to choose between the two. Until you have taught them this, they are incapable of sin.
A number of my school mates were baptised after we'd started secondary school. Although your daughter may feel left out (and I appreciate this may be difficult to get across to her), it is infinitely more important that she truly understands what she is choosing, and fully and freely chooses it for herself.

CH27 wrote: »

Children also need to be baptised if you want them to attend a Church school.

Teenie_D wrote: »

Our primary school is one of the most popular schools in the area and I reckon the majority of kids there aren't catholic or even attend church. TBH if it was just for catholic children I honestly doubt they would be able to fill the classes, maybe that's the reason?? I know that one of my friends is putting her wee boy there and I doubt she has even entered a church .

I attended a private RC school; even had Friars teach quite a few classes. I'm not RC, although we are Christian, so perhaps that made a difference? I'm not convinced the majority of the kids there were RC or even Christian though.

babymoo

I was christened at a very young age (babe in arms) due to illhealth and my parents being told I would never survive. I am still here 24 years later, I don't attend church and don't follow the CofE religion that I was christened into, or any other religion for that matter. I did however until I was 14. My brother wasn't christened until he was 22, he never followed any religion until he turned 21. This obviously was entirely his decision.

I personally think that even if the child is christened as a baby, there is no saying they will follow the same religion as they go through their lives so if christening your baby makes sense to you at the moment then go with it, just make sure they know that just because they have been christened that you will support any decision they make regarding their religion, if indeed they decide to follow a religion at all.

I hope this makes sense, this is what I would do in your situation.

Mojisola

LilacPixie wrote: »

long story short is I am Catholic, hubby isn't. We married in a civil ceremony.

OH parents are made up of his mum catholic and his dad not, they opted to let their kids decide what religion to follow and subsequently BIL has been baptised and i was his sponsor, my husband never has but does attend church if not working. .My parents are both RC and I was baptised at under 3 weeks old, siblings the same

I usually go on a saturday evening with our kids.

When i was pregnant with baby number 1 we decided that we would let them choose there own religion when they felt the time was right.. now I am having second thoughts. I take the kids to church with me after all so its hardly me being an impartial parent and letting them choose is it.

There is also the added thing that dd1 is almost 5, she has friends she knows from church and in a few short years they will al be preparing for their first communion and DD1 won't be.

I am confused TBH Not sure how much of my thoughts are not wanting DD1 to feel excluded and how much is a genuine belief than we need to look at out decision again because what we said and what we are doing appear different

By trying to be fair, you've got yourself into awkward position.

It will seem strange to your children to be taken to church but not being allowed to join the club with their first communion.

If you do want them to go to a Catholic school but still not be baptised into the faith, that's another mixed message.

The fact that you did not have a Catholic marriage and haven't baptised the children may affect their chances of getting into school, depending on your area's rules.

Although you would be baptising them before they fully understand what's going on, they don't actually make any promises about their religious beliefs - that's what the parents and godparents do. Baptism doesn't scar you for life and it doesn't stop you deciding what you believe for yourself when you're older.