lending money to family(bad idea)

luke247

hi, i don't know if this is in the right forum apologies if it is, firstly 3 years ago i had received £89,000 inheritance and all that money as gone apart from £22,000. £2000 i lent to my aunty to help her move home with her disabled son she had promised to pay and as yet she has only paid back around £250 of it, at first i wasn't really bothered when i got the money back but now iv'e hit rock bottom i could really do with it back is there anything i could do?, also there is nothing in writing the only proof i could get is back statements saying what came from my bank and what went in hers. secondly i lent my mother £20,000 to help with her deposit on her mortgae apparently called a gifted deposit mortgage, now she told me that i could have that back on the condition that i had a steady job and living on my own/with partner. now that i am on my own and my job is not the best but its ok, i would like the money back. could you tell me what options i have i have much appreciated.

gettingbetter

so soory
u have learnt hard lesson
NEITHER A BORROWER OF A LENDER BE

dont know what else to say

kas xx

TrickyDicky101

So what has your Mum said about the £20k? Is she willing to pay it back to you? Legally, I believe you will be on thin ice with the £20k as I presume you would have had to make some form of declaration at the time of the 'gift' to your mother stating that you didn't require repayment (otherwise it would not have been effective as a deposit for your mother).

axisofunity

Without knowing your circumstances, I'd say that spending about 60k in three years is quite a lot. If you had even a part time job on 18k a year you would in effect have been spending about 30k a year. Seems excessive if you now urgently need 22k back. Maybe you need to review spending and try and save that money for later. Seems your mum might be setting reasonable conditions on it for longer term good. Remember 30k would be more than an average salary in this country... Sorry for saying without all the circumstances laid out but it feels this way.

Doozergirl

A gifted deposit is a gift. As far as the legal ownership of the £20,000 goes, you've declared it a 'gift' so the money is hers now. You can only get it back via the powers of persuasion. £20,000 is a huge amount of money to find for someone that had to borrow it in the first place, unless there was a specific route for them to do it (ie. Selling a property to release equity). You might have signed a deed of trust that shows she owes it you, but this is the sort of thing that the lender (ie. You) would have instigated. If the mortgage company knew it was a loan, they probably wouldn't have offered her the mortgage. I can't believe she put conditions on paying you back your own money!!

It might be worth a convo with the CAB.

Your aunt you might be able to frighten into paying by starting small claims proceedings. The website is called something like Moneyclaim Online. I guess it depends on how important your relationship is. Whilst it is entirely her fault, she will probably decide to fall out with you.

poppysarah

You have a job and £22,000 left.

Learn from it.

You can't get gifts back and lending to anyone is fraught with difficulties.

ALIBOBSY

Can understand mums pov, you have wasted a massive sum of money in a very short period and she is trying to protect you by holding onto the 20k for your future. Most people could live on 22k for at least a year if not 2.

Ali x