The worst/naughtiest thing you've done to survive whilst at rock bottom

immoral_angeluk

FireWyrm wrote: »

It's odd that you should mention the idea of charities and it struck a cord with me. In all the years of hardship and struggle, I never once entertained the idea of going to a charity and actually admitting that we were practically starving. My parents would have choked on the concept of 'begging' for aid and the one time I ever asked the government for help in one of our desperate times and was refused, I was more concerned about being seen in the dole queue than what they might actually give me. It was a matter of pride. I'd rather starve than ask for help. Charities were for those who were destitute, not just a little hungry like us. I've always worked for a living, no matter how small the wage packet and what I had to do to get it...begging...I just couldnt.

In our area charities like the Salvation army are wanting MORE people to approach them. It's what they're there for and they want to help. The trouble is it takes a lot of effort for people to swallow their pride and ask for help. Once you're over that hurdle it's easier to get the help you need but were previously too ashamed to ask for.

As a Debt advisor it's a big part of what I do, approaching charities for people who are otherwise too scared/ashamed to ask themselves or weren't aware such help was out there.

RubySewSew

Blimey. Was feeling well sorry for myself until I started reading this. Whilst I am in debt crisis now it is nothing compared to the poverty my mum had to raise the 4 of us in. She was a single parent with 4 kids under 5. She was studying full time and holding down 3 jobs. She also used to work from home stuffing envelopes or packing promotional freebies for magazines. These are some of the things I remember:

one Sunday afternoon my Mum quietly sobbing, wearing rubber gloves and sitting on the floor next to the toilet up to her shoulder unblocking the ubend from all the sewage and newspaper that had blocked it

telling the insurance company that the hurricanes had broken the window that my brother smashed in a temper

she had a friend who would poach illegally and bring her rabbit and hare. She would have to skin them and gut them herself. She would tell us it was chicken but we always knew because of the fragments of shot.

the same friend would also bring 'baker's bin bags' - literally black sacks full of food rubbish, rolls, bread, sandwiches, doughnuts - all mixed in together. He also used to bring us jars of the jam from doughnuts - disgustingly sweet but heavenly to us!

we would walk to and from town to shop. we were tiny but we would each have to carry back two full carrier bags the mile and a half back because we couldn't afford the bus

my mum would go to the market at the end of the day and ask for scraps for the rabbits. Really it was for us.

our next door neighbour would bring us all the unlabelled tins home from work. Dinner could be sweetcorn or lychees!

I used to cook for the family and aged 11 I cooked curried porridge oats for dinner because it was the only food in the house.

I used to hide school trip letters from my mum because I didn't want her worrying about having to pay for it.

We had a little old VW beetle which had an electrical fault. Every time you turned left the horn went off spontaneously!!

This was so normal to us we didn't really question it. I have done some pretty awful things through poverty and greed. I'll get around to confessing those. One more for the road though and this can heed as a warning and hopefully make you chuckle! My sister had completely run out of money, petrol (she lives in a village) and dishwasher tablets. She wondered if washing up liquid would do the same job. It doesn't!! We walked in to the kitchen to find ourselves waist high in soap suds!

FireWyrm

RubySewSew wrote: »

she had a friend who would poach illegally and bring her rabbit and hare. She would have to skin them and gut them herself. She would tell us it was chicken but we always knew because of the fragments of shot.

All of us kids round our way used to catch rabbits. We didnt have guns - just the occassional air rifle, I used to run them down, I dont know about anyone else. I've 'poached' fish from the local angling lake, but I gather from conversations with friends that this was actually quite common during the 80's. My dad was made redundant 3 times in a single year once and I remember the loaf of bread, jar of jam and single pot of bog standard margarine my mother managed to get by rounding up every copper penny in the house. I've never been able to look a jam sandwich in the eye since.

It's really strange. The more I read this thread, the more I think about our lives then and the more I understand about the little things that seemed normal to me as a child but are anything but as an adult. I remember a box of charity clothes my mother got from somewhere which were a birthday gift. I remember spending evenings 'learning to sew' on sheets with holes big enough to step through. I remember my father and his shoes with giant holes and why my mother would get so angry if I dared to scuff my one good pair of school shoes a year. I remember boiling water on the camp stove and pretending to 'camp' in the kitchen by candle light. It was fun then, but now I realise, it was because we had no power. We camped like that for over a week. I remember my mother's delight at the big armful of multi-coloured roses I gave her one mothers' day. I had stolen a single rose from each bush on my paper round. Since I delivered 350 papers at the time, you can imagine how big the bunch was. I remember the mysterious boxes of tins that sometimes appeared on the door step and my mother's eyes sliding away when I asked where they came from.

In the words of Dolly Parton...."No amount of money could buy from me the memories I have of then, no amount of money could pay me to go back and live through it again".

anewman

Stealing toilet roll, that's a bit of a shlt thing to do.

thegirlintheattic

I've also nicked bog roll, in my first year as a student as our flat was so skint it was going to be newspaper otherwise. I've also lived off of pasta and sauce and toast for weeks on end when there has been no money for food.

krillarbran

RubySewSew wrote: »

One more for the road though and this can heed as a warning and hopefully make you chuckle! My sister had completely run out of money, petrol (she lives in a village) and dishwasher tablets. She wondered if washing up liquid would do the same job. It doesn't!! We walked in to the kitchen to find ourselves waist high in soap suds!

ROFL. Me and my sister did that once while my parents were watching telly in the living room. We had run outta tabs and thought it was ok to use washing up liquid.... we were so wrong... 20mins later my sister came to me quietly and whispered to me to go to the kitchen. It looked like something out of a kids gameshow. Luckily my parents didnt go to the kitchen while we were quietly cleaning it up lol.
Never again.

skipsmum

I always buy far more food than we need and end up throwing a lot away. I have no budgeting or planning/cooking skills.
As a small child I would feed my brother, mostly sugar butties, cornflakes or beans, but remember once making him eat dry pasta because we had a bag in the house but I didn't know you had to cook it! Eventually we were taken into care, and I always thought it was due to my useless house skills, and it was only a few years ago that I actually understood that 7 year olds don't generally have that sort of responsibility. Like one of the other posters, I got shouted at in front of the whole class for stealing food. I was about 7 or 8 at the time. Even in care I would binge eat and hoard food.

I still have a lot of issues that revolve around food. I can't plan, and panic if I have to feed more or less people than I thought I would. We eat a lot of take away just because I can't deal with it all.
What worries me is that I havent passed any of those skills on to my own kids, but I hope that theyve at least benefitted from me trying. DH does get frustrated with my tin stockpile (it really is quite large) and doesn't even know about the food in the shed, but he gets upset because he thinks I think that he wont be able to provide for us.

londonirish_3

I have done many things in complete and utter desperation over a very short time, years back, and I will put my hands up to prostitution. I was beyond rock bottom, had no clue about benefits, and had been kicked out of home. Stealing , in my naive mind was not an option. I was passed up for jobs, and in desperation and hunger I did it. I dont regret it at all.I am sure most of you are disgusted with me, but at that time , I was a teen, with no family, totally clueless of any help available, and job after job knockbacks. I would do it again too, if it was the difference between losing my home or not and I had failed to find any sort of job.

Disenchanted

londonirish wrote: »

x

Wow, well done for being so honest! It's a really tough situation to be in when you feel like you have nobody to turn to. I sincerely hope you don't have to resort back to that again in the future, just remember there is help, and nobody should have to turn to prostitution to get by.

RubySewSew

FireWyrm, same in our house! I can't stand jam sandwiches for the same reason! We only ever had a choice of jam or marmite or ocassionally peanut butter. It drives me insane now when my boys fuss over sandwiches. I am obsessed with little triangle sandwiches - egg mayo or tuna mayo in particular. I scoff them like there is no tomorrow.

Skipsmum, I am so sad to hear your story. The thing that makes me saddest is that you were shouted at for stealing food. I work with some very vulnerable children and when we find them stealing food we turn a blind eye or leave out extras and we certainly record it as a concern. Young children stealing or hoarding is usually sign that something isn't write and should be treated with compassion, care and concern. What you are describing is something we call attachment disorder - there is some amazing work on how to support children with attachment issues - I don't know if this website might be useful to you http://www.theyellowkite.co.uk/

Londonirish - nobody has any right to pass judgement on you. Prostitution is rarely a choice (and quite frankly even if it is I still don't think anyone else has the right to judge). It amazes me the resourcefulness, bravery and strength that people can muster when they need to.