Friendship Issues

Mrs_Optimist

I am SO grateful to you all for your feedback.

I have re-read the thread as if I was a newbie reading it for the first time and thinking what advice I would give to myself.

Without doubt I would echo the advice you have all provided.

I have sent her a text this morning as someone recommended, saying I hoped she had a great night, and wished her a happy birthday today and looked forward to seeing her soon (we have a longstanding meet-up next month). I have had no response as yet, so will wait to see whether she will respond. I have also lost any guilt I had as I have spent the evening thinking about all the times I have been there for her, which she conveniently overlooks. She didn't come to my Son's birthday BBQ last month as she said she had numerous other offers that day, but surprise surprise she rang in tears the following day wanting to come roound to see me. I thought something major had happened as she was so upset but, no, it transpired she had spent the night with her married man who took her outside of the city (so they didn't bump into anyone they might know), and was put out when he left her at midnight to pick up his teenge daughter from a club!

So she had no qualms about putting her latest squeeze before me that night, but yet I am a bad friend for daring to not go out and celebrate her birthday with her, knowing full well that I have a lot going on at home, not least the worry about my DH losing his job next week.

I think sadly you are right, I need to distance myself, which is easier said than done, as I am by nature a compassionate person and will help anyone in their hour of need.

Lady_S

I have been there and done that!

After a near 25 year friendship it just became too much hard work and I was constantly being dumped for the latest fad. I still feel bad about it and miss her, but life is too short for the verbal I got back.

Mrs_Optimist

Well she did reply yesterday - just a text saying "Thanks mate x". I will avoid all contact with her now until we meet next month and guage how I will play it when I see her. If she starts as soon as I see her then I will have to just be straight with her and tell her that actually I have other priorities other than keeping her happy. Hopefully it will be ok but I realise that I do need to distance myself in the future and will try to do that discreetly and gracefully!.

Thanks for those who replied with advice - I do appreciate it.