Urgent Help Needed Please!

cynet

Hello forum members I need help and some good advice support, I will try to make this simple with out to much jargon.

The situation stands that I have been living with my wife in a housing association with a joint tenancy. Now we have had massive difficulties in our marriage due to my mental health issues and other personal issues I have been suffering with.

We have both agreed to end our relationship on a personal nature and she want's me to move out but I have no where to go, basically I will be homeless.

Have contacted the housing association people and they will get back to me in due course, but still don't know where I stand.

Will the housing association re-home me or will I have to start all over again? Need some where as I will be having my 3 year old daughter at times staying with me due sometimes to my wife's health condition.

In a pickle in what way to go about it and there is children involved as well, one being 3 and the other being 14 who is my step daughter, so it is having a massive effect on the children, due to all the stress, also my wife has disabilities and the house has been adapted for her and I'm her full time carer which we have agreed for me to continue when I leave as it's my duty as a father to the children to make sure my wife will still be looked after. Will be keeping the mobility car so I can still take her to all her hospital appointments and the kids as well for school and other things.

Please can you help thank you in advance.

relic

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

So you've split up, she wants you to move out, but continue carry on being her full time carer, even though you have mental issues (which I presume with you breaking up, it's bad enough to affect your ability to care for someone)?

viktory

No, it is unlikely the HA will house you, although only they can say for certain. If I were you I'd look into private renting. Out of curisoity, is your wife intending to claim benefits as a single parent? Do you work? Why are you keeping the car? This all smells somewhat fishy to me.

merlin68

Obviously another benefit maximisation thread.

karenx

So you have split up, going to be living in different houses yet by the sounds of it you will always be at hers to look after her and the children?! Why split up if you will be spending all your time there apart from sleeping!

cynet

Wow shocked at the attitude on here, was recommended this site to be helpful and supportive, how wrong can one be, sorry to have wasted people's time with a genuine look of help

dseventy

cynet wrote: »

was recommended this site to be helpful and supportive, how wrong can one be,

It can be helpful and supportive.

However your plan smells "fishy" and given there are number of tax payers here, its been rumbled.

If you think the questions and challenges from posters here are hard work, wait until the DWP start to look into your affairs!

D70

CouponWoman

cynet wrote: »

Hello forum members I need help and some good advice support, I will try to make this simple with out to much jargon.

The situation stands that I have been living with my wife in a housing association with a joint tenancy. Now we have had massive difficulties in our marriage due to my mental health issues and other personal issues I have been suffering with.

We have both agreed to end our relationship on a personal nature and she want's me to move out but I have no where to go, basically I will be homeless.

Have contacted the housing association people and they will get back to me in due course, but still don't know where I stand.

Will the housing association re-home me or will I have to start all over again? Need some where as I will be having my 3 year old daughter at times staying with me due sometimes to my wife's health condition.

In a pickle in what way to go about it and there is children involved as well, one being 3 and the other being 14 who is my step daughter, so it is having a massive effect on the children, due to all the stress, also my wife has disabilities and the house has been adapted for her and I'm her full time carer which we have agreed for me to continue when I leave as it's my duty as a father to the children to make sure my wife will still be looked after. Will be keeping the mobility car so I can still take her to all her hospital appointments and the kids as well for school and other things.

Please can you help thank you in advance.

Actually you will have real problems with the DWP as you could be accused of still living together. You intend to spend all day caring for your wife, so will be having meals with her and the children. I presume you will be doing the housework, in fact the only thing different is that you will at some stage return to another address.

Wouldn't it be easier to move into a different bedroom and try and get over your problems by seeking some help. It sounds as though your wife's ill health combined with your own ill health has simply got you both really down. Seek help from your doctor re counselling for both of you.

If you say you intend to help the children by still looking after your wife, then finding a way to stay together should be a priority.

good luck
xx

cynet

Benefit fraud was the last thing on my mind, the reason I stated the way I did is that I have been responsible for my relationship to collapse, I owed it to the mother of my 3 year old to carry on that support on a pro level and not a personal one, please don't tarnish everyone with the same brush.

babymoo

Please excuse the bluntness of some of the other posters on this forum. We see thread after thread of people on here looking for ways to beat the system and it does get tiresome.

However if you are genuine then take the advice that has been given. It is VERY likely that the DWP will take 1 look at your circumstances and assume everything that everyone else has on here. I understand your concern for your wife and that you want to help her to be able to look after your/her children but you need to be realistic here. You need to sit with your wife again and suggest that she get another carer.

Keeping the mobility car is fine, does it come out of her DLA or yours? If it is yours then take it with you or give it back if you do not need it. If it is hers then she is within her rights to keep the car and just find someone else to drive it.

As the others have suggested I would start to look at private renting and learning to go about things on your own and your wife needs to do the same.

It is a very noble thing to want to continue to care for her but at the end of the day you will be seen in the same light as everyone else has taken you. Build your lifes back up seperately and stay in touch for the children's sake but don't eat meals there, dont be there all day every day and don't continue to care for your wife. By all means help her to find someone who can continue to do this. This is what DLA is for.

If your that worried that she can't cope without you then contact social services who will put her in touch with someone who can help.

Oldernotwiser

cynet wrote: »

Benefit fraud was the last thing on my mind, the reason I stated the way I did is that I have been responsible for my relationship to collapse, I owed it to the mother of my 3 year old to carry on that support on a pro level and not a personal one, please don't tarnish everyone with the same brush.

Do you really mean because you're getting paid for it?