Having a massive breakdown involving rented flat.

SuaveStar

Hi all. This is going to likely be a long, all over the place post, so sorry in advance.

I rented the flat I'm in with a friend about 13 months ago now, and it's the first flat I've ever actually rented. I made the mistake of going with the first flat I saw in my price range. I felt I had to rush into it, as at home, things weren't going very well, and I felt it be better if I left right away.

I moved in with my friend, and then the problems started. We were told when we viewed the flat that it would be painted before we moved in. It wasn't, there's markings all over the walls in the hallway. This was mentioned in the pre-moving in check. (Sorry, I forgot the name of it)

About two days after moving in, and paying the full six months tenancy rent (I'd be saving for a while and wanted to just be on the safe side, rent wise) I found that the flat gets incredibly cold at night, and doesn't keep any heating in. This was only the first problem that I didn't expect.

We are on the ground floor, which thanks to my own stupidity, I didn't take into account, and my bedroom is next to the back door to the flat, which it feels like all the tenants use, and bang shut when they come in, at all hours. I should have realised this at the start, but it has caused me some horrible nights, but it was my own fault for not taking that into account.

It is a furnished flat, and the furniture and the beds are old, and I found bugs crawling on the beds once. I once tried to speak to my flatmate about putting new beds in and he responded "No, it's a rented flat...I don't want to deal with that" the couch is sunken in, and likely over ten years old. The shower barely works, and has broken down. You need to turn it on at the water switch outside the bathroom now, instead of turning it on in the shower and it is incredibly weak.

The place is filled with the landlords items, which is fine, but I should have known that with my own stuff, the place would feel crowded and I would suffer from claustrophobia from the place feeling so small. Then we got new tenants above us, who have young children, who jump up and down on the floors all day and night, and cause the doors in my flat to shake. And when the kids are not running about, I can hear them screaming and crying as if they were in the next room. Not because they are too loud, but because the walls are so thin, I can almost make out what they are saying.

I want to move, but my flatmate is so passive about it, that he says "No, I don't want to move till I graduate" and there's so much to have to take into account that I wasn't expecting, council tax, utilities, general upkeep, and all this for a flat, I just can't feel like is my home.

I am near a massive breakdown now, as I'm noticing how there are cracks coming down the walls, and water damage on the bedroom walls, and some orange deterioration to the paint. I want to move out, and I want to leave but my flatmate, who I feel some sort of loyalty to, doesn't so, so it feels like I'm stuck.

There's so many issues to take into account, like the stuff I mentioned and phone, and letters and bills in general, that everytime I think about moving out, I have a major panic attack, and I can't sleep, and I have no money as it all goes into this rented flat, and I can't do anything and I just feel like I am on the verge of a massive breakdown, and I can't get out and sometimes I just feel like I'd be better off just jumping in the river and getting the hell out of my life, which has now, thanks to what was supposed to be my new home, becoming my new nightmare.

I have no one in my family I can turn to and say "Could you help me out" as they are all busy with their own lives, and their own families, and I just don't feel like i can take any more of this.

I just want to cry now. I don't know what to do.

Again, I'm sorry for this long post. And it's probably not the right place to put this, but this rented flat, has just become the biggest nightmare and I don't think I can take it anymore.

BitterAndTwisted

OK, so you've been in this flat for 13 months now. Does that mean you signed a six-month tenancy and it's rolled on since then? If you haven't signed a new tenancy agreement since you moved in you can give written notice for both of you and end the tenancy. Don't pay any attention to your flatmate's inertia: just get the hell out of there and find somewhere more suitable.

LandyAndy

Has your AST gone on to a 'rolling' basis or are you stuck with the balance of a fixed AST term?

Where could you go instead? Can you afford a rental without a flatmate?

casualwalks

B&T is right. I know you don't want to leave your flat mate in a difficult situation, but if you are feeling suicidal over your accomodation, you need to leave. Tell your flatmate how you feel, if you are on a rolling tenancy give notice, start looking for a new place.

Remember things will get better, but you need to make the changes for things to improve.

princeofpounds

Well it's good you get to have a vent about it. Try not to worry so much, although the living conditions sound demoralising try to keep some perspective - this is not the end of the world, you have the opportunity to move onto a better place given some time and some self-organisation. It sounds to me like you were (and maybe still are) a naive renter. I don't blame you - nobody 'teaches' you how to rent so often the mistakes you make are the way you learn.

I just want to cry now. I don't know what to do.

Actually to me it is pretty clear what you have to do. End the lease and move out. Given you were on a six month contract I presume you have met all your obligations regarding tenancy length already.

It is great that you feel loyalty towards your friend but your loyalty has gone more than twice the length of time you actually committed to be a co-tenant. You have lived up to your obligations both legally and I think morally too. If your friend is not prepared to see how the situation is making you ill then I think you have to be somewhat hard-nosed about the situation and look after yourself. A real friend would understand - maybe annoyed at the inconvenience, but understanding all the same.

A more general comment - I suspect that you are suffering from something like mild depression. The way you talk about your situation radiates helplessness when in fact you have every opportunity to be out of that place in a short a time as four weeks (assuming a periodic tenancy), although realistically just a little longer. If you agree with me (re-read your post and try to be objective) then you might do well to speak to your GP or one of the relevant charity helplines. I suspect that just taking control of your situation will help a lot.

BitterAndTwisted

Angel, you have plenty of choices. You just need to take the bull by the horns (easier said than done, I know, especially when you're in the midst of feeling hopeless and depressed) and tell your flatmate that you're going to give notice. You have five grand in the bank to facilitate your onward move, so that's really good. Where I live that could be almost a year's rent in a flat or house-share. Get round the local letting-agents and have a look at what's available. Even taking that tiny step could give you the incentive to get going out of that hell-hole

JanCee

As others have said, just find somewhere else. No flat is worth stresssing out over. You may be better off in a house share with more people to share the running costs. I could understand you being upset if you had bought the place but as you are renting, give notice and move on.

princeofpounds

I moved in with my friend, and then the problems started. We were told when we viewed the flat that it would be painted before we moved in. It wasn't, there's markings all over the walls in the hallway. This was mentioned in the pre-moving in check.

In future, get any such promises in writing or just don't believe them. Markings are ugly but they are not going to harm you. It is good they are mentioned on the check-in as you aren't responsible for them on leaving.

About two days after moving in, and paying the full six months tenancy rent (I'd be saving for a while and wanted to just be on the safe side, rent wise) I found that the flat gets incredibly cold at night, and doesn't keep any heating in. This was only the first problem that I didn't expect.

Never pay more rent in advance unless you have to. This is not because it is a bad idea, but because in certain unusual situations involving LLs without proper mortgages you run the risk of losing a month or two of rent if they go bankrupt and the bank doesn't recognise your tenancy.

The cold is a pain - if extreme then the council environmental health dept may be able to help out - but it is summer now so hopefully you can find another property with better insulation before winter.

We are on the ground floor, which thanks to my own stupidity, I didn't take into account, and my bedroom is next to the back door to the flat, which it feels like all the tenants use, and bang shut when they come in, at all hours. I should have realised this at the start, but it has caused me some horrible nights, but it was my own fault for not taking that into account.

I know this is a pain too, having experienced something similar. Noise through normal use is not normally something you can pursue through the authorities, but besides from the advice to move again I can suggest two things. The first is to sleep with earplugs - it helps a lot once you get used to it. The second is to see if you can glue/tape a couple of felt patches or something similar into the frame to help muffle the bangs (use something temporary like double-sided tape at first). And why not put a notice on the door asking people not to slam?

It is a furnished flat, and the furniture and the beds are old, and I found bugs crawling on the beds once. I once tried to speak to my flatmate about putting new beds in and he responded "No, it's a rented flat...I don't want to deal with that" the couch is sunken in, and likely over ten years old.

You can buy a can of good insecticide from boots or similar (make sure it is the right stuff for soft furnishings) as a temporary aid here. Your flatmate is right in one respect - do not furnish a LL's property for them although extra furniture is ok. You should ask LL for replacements and your normal trump card is to threaten to move out if they are not provided (although a good LL would periodically replace furniture). It's also ok to ask for things to be removed to make way for your replacement, but again this requires negotiation and evidence in writing in case a LL tries to hold you responsible for the 'missing' bed.

If the soft furniture does not have fire safety lables then you have a legal weapon against your landlord as that is not permitted.

The shower barely works, and has broken down. You need to turn it on at the water switch outside the bathroom now, instead of turning it on in the shower and it is incredibly weak.

You can enforce repairs in a couple of ways, such as the procedure outlined in Lee Parker vs Izzet 1971. If we ignore the MOVE OUT advice again(!) then if you want to stay have you complained about this in writing?

The place is filled with the landlords items, which is fine, but I should have known that with my own stuff, the place would feel crowded and I would suffer from claustrophobia from the place feeling so small.

If furnishings then you probably implicitly agreed to have them in place, but if just junk you can ask your landlord to remove them. If he doesn't you are allowed to dispose, but not right away (there is a little corner of law for 'bailments' like these you will have to understand first).

Then we got new tenants above us, who have young children, who jump up and down on the floors all day and night, and cause the doors in my flat to shake. And when the kids are not running about, I can hear them screaming and crying as if they were in the next room. Not because they are too loud, but because the walls are so thin, I can almost make out what they are saying.

Nothing you can really do about 'normal' living noise. Earplugs/headphones are a great temporary aid.

I want to move, but my flatmate is so passive about it, that he says "No, I don't want to move till I graduate"

As I said, forget your flatmate

and there's so much to have to take into account that I wasn't expecting, council tax, utilities, general upkeep, and all this for a flat, I just can't feel like is my home.

Yes, this is the cost and hassle of real life, but you will get used to it and be able to deal with it much better. Are you students? Your flatmate sounds like one - if so you should be exempt from council tax or at least get a single occupant discount for yourself. Utilities are expensive, but shop around, make direct debit regular payments to get discounts and spread the load. Homes do require upkeep.

I am near a massive breakdown now, as I'm noticing how there are cracks coming down the walls, and water damage on the bedroom walls, and some orange deterioration to the paint. I want to move out, and I want to leave but my flatmate, who I feel some sort of loyalty to, doesn't so, so it feels like I'm stuck.

If you have water ingress you MUST complain in writing to the LL to protect yourself against any claims at the end of the tenancy that you failed to notify him.

There's so many issues to take into account, like the stuff I mentioned and phone, and letters and bills in general, that everytime I think about moving out, I have a major panic attack, and I can't sleep, and I have no money as it all goes into this rented flat, and I can't do anything and I just feel like I am on the verge of a massive breakdown, and I can't get out and sometimes I just feel like I'd be better off just jumping in the river and getting the hell out of my life, which has now, thanks to what was supposed to be my new home, becoming my new nightmare.

This is where I am thinking depression - letters and bills should not overwhelm you, nor should moving give you sleepless nights (it's likely to be a path to freedom, not trouble).

I have no one in my family I can turn to and say "Could you help me out" as they are all busy with their own lives, and their own families, and I just don't feel like i can take any more of this.

I just want to cry now. I don't know what to do.

Again, I'm sorry for this long post. And it's probably not the right place to put this, but this rented flat, has just become the biggest nightmare and I don't think I can take it anymore.

£5,000.01 saved so far. Saving for the future.

Doing well, this is exactly the sort of situation savings are useful for - funding a deposit for the next, better, place.

PS what part of the country are you in?

SuaveStar

Thank you all for your quick responses. It means a lot to me.

LandyAndy: It was a six month contract that I signed, and it has just rolled on from there. I've paid two lots of six months of rent (One when first moving in, one in January) and only paid a single months rent in July.

CasualWalks: Thanks. The problem for me is, I'm not seeing it as "Get out of there, now" I'm seeing it as "If I leave, I'll need to move my stuff in van, that costs a lot of money, I need to cancel the phone and start a new line in the new place, and then broadband, and then utilities" it's all short term expenses, but it just causes me to have a serious panic attack, as I've never really been good with money, and I constantly feel like I will be homeless and penniless whatever move I make.

princeofpounds: Thanks, I will admit, I know nothing about the property market, renting or buying and I just feel so confused by everything involved in it. I've spoke to my GP about my general issues, and he's tried giving me things for my panic attacks, that didn't work, and then gave me something to help me sleep. The problem is, when I sleep I constantly have worries about this flat, like I can never escape it.

Bitter and Twisted: Thank you for both your comments. Your first one, I don't want to leave him in the lurch, dealing with the flat by himself, I would prefer if he'd agree to move with me, make it easier, but I feel like it's coming down to the "Get out myself" option. I've looked at flats through S1 homes, and the searches have either came up at random (Houses for £1400 PCM) or saying "Sorry...nothing matches your search"

Your second comment, I have about 4 left now, as I've taken money out to pay for some things (Driving lessons, last months rent) but I guess that is still a lot of money, I'm just constantly of the mindset "That's not my money now...that's incase of emergency money" which makes me convince myself that I don't have the money available to deal with issues.

JanCee: Thank you for your comment. I'm thinking about going to my mums for a while, to get my head straight and sort out a proper flat for myself, this time using her help. As she does know a lot about fixing places up and noticing house issues. I wish I'd went to her for help in the first place. To me, this feels like I've made the mistake and I have to constantly live with it. Everytime I think about moving, I keep thinking about my flatmate saying "It's going to cost so much...and the stress of moving" and it just puts me in a mindset that I can't deal with the stress of thinking about moving. If that makes any sense.

Again, thank you all for your comments.

InkZ

Your flatmate is not your responsibility and if they don't understand then they aren't a person worth lending your responsibility to.

If you are on a rolling contract now, then your situation is easily fixed and you have nothing to worry about, just give notice and get out. If your flatmate wants to stay then they can either pay full rent, or find another person to share.

Please don't feel helpless as I can't see anything in your post to feel helpless about, and I think it's more to do with your mood rather than your situation.

Make a list of all the things you need to do when moving rather than letting them swamp your head. When you write it all down, you will see it's just yourself making it harder and it's not really that difficult.

RAS

SuaveStar wrote: »

I keep thinking about my flatmate saying "It's going to cost so much...and the stress of moving" and it just puts me in a mindset that I can't deal with the stress of thinking about moving. If that makes any sense.

Your flat mate has the other option; to negoitiate e new tenancy with your landlord to remain in the flat if that is what he wants, and the LL may be happy to do that to save himself the hassle.