Lacking motivation....

lovesabargain123

Hi,
I'm totally lacking any motivation to get anything done.My house is a tip and I'm struggling even with the basics.I have so much to do,we go away monday and I have loads of washing,even more ironing,the beds needs changing,the house needs hoovering and cleaning, the list goes on......

This has been going on for weeks so has really built up,when the kids are at school I just can't get moving,I either sit on the laptop or just go out.

Its not just that I'd like to loose 3 stone but again i just can't get motivated to do it.I've joined various slimming clubs I do really well for a couple of weeks then lose motivation and don't go back,same with the gym ,I have a monthly pass start really welll then don't go for ages.

Please can anyone offer any advice I'm really at breaking point especially as oh says today I'm lazy :-(

I work 2 days oh ft so in the most the housework gets left to me

Many Thanks for any help

tomatoe_2

If only motivation could be bought in a tin. It can't and must come from within.
Someone will be along shortly to tell you its depression. It may be.

Ada_Doom

I do know how you feel, I feel like that sometimes but no as much as i used to. What works for me is keeping busy, and getting outside. I like t have a bit of routine to my life and have realised that the weekends i spend slobbing about are the ones that leave me miserable. I make sure i go out, even just to the park..Focus on small positive things that you do , even something like cooking a healthy meal.

I find the computer and tv really drain my energy so I limit time in front of a screen. It may be that you are depressed so maybe a visit to your gp. And it is horrible for your oh to call you lazy, I think you need understaning rather than insults. Please be kind to yourself.

ellay864

Not quite sure what spirit tomatie made his/her comment in but yes it does sound like a symptom of depression, which wouldn't be surprising from the backstory you gave. I was in exactly that position when my ex and I were splitting but I wouldn't see a doctor as I was scared of the depression label. I wish now I had gone if only to get some proper counselling. In the end an old friend who had previously been a counsellor helped me and I self-medicated with St John's Wort. I did find that once I got back into the exercise mode, even if just going for walks, it did help pick me up but I know it's hard to get yourself started so it may well be worth going to get some help just to give you the kick start you know you want.
It will get better - just hang on in there and try to focus. I used to draw up a list and made sure that at least one item was ticked off each day, then 2 etc. Different things suit different people but as your OH doesn't seem to be supporting you, please try to find somebody who will

belfastgirl23

Would flylady help? Breaking tasks down into small and manageable portions, just doing 15 mins etc. There is a thread on the oldstyle board about it. I've found it quite motivational for housework at times anyway

lovesabargain123

Thanks for the replies shall take a look at fly lady and give myself a kick up the bum lol x

webitha

we all lack motivation at times.......well i know that i do and end up spending all my time on the puter

what i do, is turn it off then get some really good music on and fly lady

Plans_all_plans

When I feel like I'm lacking in motivation to do housework etc, I just think about my husband and it makes me get up and do it 99% of the time.

The way I see it, I work a very small amount of hours (similar to you OP) and he works full time, plus he has to travel a lot further than I do to get to his job. The housework and majority of the childcare are my other responsibilities, so I make sure they get done, because I'd feel like I was letting him down/taking the mick otherwise.

If that doesn't motivate you then I suggest there is an underlying issue, because if it was just laziness then the above thought would surely get you moving otherwise, as it does me.

Pee

If you work 2 days a week and your OH works full time then I think he is reasonable in expecting you to do all of the housework. Therefore I can see why he thinks you are lazy, even though that is unsympathetic given that I agree with the above posters that it sounds like you have some depression.

Make an appointment to see your Dr.

Have a look at the fly lady thread and make yourself a short list of priorities.

Forget about the weight loss, once you are motivated to get the house clean, which will effectively be exercise, you can concentrate on this again. You need to prioritise. Set yourself an hour to do something, tidy an area, clean the bathroom, and then allow yourself half an hour on the internet perhaps. See if this works.

Pee

I work full time and my boyfriend is self employed. If he works less than four days a week, which is all the time at the moment, then he does all the housework. When we both worked full time, then we shared it and probably I did more, but he feels very much that I should not be expected to do housework as I am paying the bills. This makes me feel like we are a team and I am happy with my role, which I feel is appreciated, and I make sure he feels appreciated in his role.

browneyedbazzi

Please don't just assume that you are suffering from depression due to a lack of motivation. Lethargy and lack of motivation are possible symptoms of depression but would not be enough for a diagnosis on their own. Do you have other symptoms like low mood, short temper, problems sleeping?

I think most people have problems getting themselves motivated and up to do jobs that they don't enjoy. Sometimes you just have to get up and do it whether you are motivated or not. Often once you get stuck in it isn't as bad as you thought it would be and then the little boost of satisfaction at having it done at the end will make it a little easier to force yourself to get up and do it next time. Many people find it helps to set a routine so flylady might help. I find making lists motivates me because I get a little boost out of ticking things off.

I'm a bit of a perfectionist and that makes me think 'oh don't bother' with something if the job looks too big to do to the standard I expect of myself. If the house is a real tip it looks like a massive job and impossible to do! In that sort of situation it makes a big difference to break the job down and think 'Ok, today I'm doing the kitchen' and just focus on that before moving on. Otherwise it can feel like I'm not making a dent in the mountain of work to be done.