Partners ex is now seeing his friend.

Alligg

I am finding this situation a little difficult to deal with and I am not sure what to do.
My partner split from his ex wife over 3yrs ago and it has been quite a battle with her hassling us.she used to txt and email anything up to 20 times a day and used to follow us and then send messages relating to what we were doing.when the divorce finally came through in January it all seemed to settle down and we heard nothing so we gave a huge sigh and thought we could move on.
Last week a good friend of ours who has just split with his wife took my partner to one side and told him that he has been seeing his ex and that he hoped we could all be friends and still attend social events together.now my partners ex has started with the txts again saying how much she is looking forward to seeing him and wont it be nice to spend time together.my partner thinks she has got with his friend to get into our lives again and to keep tabs on what we are doing.do we tell my partners friend what she is saying and that we wont be going to any social events with them and we certainly wont be going for dinner as was her recent suggestion.
for work reasons my partner cannot change his phone number,is there a way to block her so she cannot txt.she was even sat outside my work the other day and when my partner picked me up to take me out for tea 20 mins later her and the friend turned up,he didn't know we were there and luckily they were not seated near us but it ruined the evening.
any advice would be much appreciated,we really thought she was gone and now she is back.

fannyanna

I think I would explain to the friend that things are awkward with the ex and that you'd rather keep your distance from her. As such you'd still like to maintain the friendship with him but would rather avoid double dates.

BitterAndTwisted

I think I'd be candid with the friend and call the ex exactly what she is: a stalker. A stalker neither of you want to share the same air with if you can help it.

CH27

I'd be honest with the friend & say you don't wish to be in contact with her.
Maybe show him the texts & emails.

Heart_Shaped_Diamond

I feel sorry for your partner's friend, if what you think is true. He actually likes this woman, and thinks she likes him. It would be very sad if this was all to get noticed and talking to her ex - your partner. And was not actually because she was interested in this man at all. She's definitely got to have something wrong with her if she can treat him like that and not feel guilty. What a strange woman!

make_me_wise

Alligg wrote: »

Last week a good friend of ours who has just split with his wife took my partner to one side and told him that he has been seeing his ex and that he hoped we could all be friends and still attend social events together.

now my partners ex has started with the txts again saying how much she is looking forward to seeing him and wont it be nice to spend time together.

my partner thinks she has got with his friend to get into our lives again and to keep tabs on what we are doing.

I think your partner is paranoid. She is with one of his friends and has just suggested that it would be nice to see you at social events. Maybe she is just moving on and trying to be pleasant.

If neither of you wants this then change your numbers so the texts stop and dont attend events when this couple are going. It doesn't need to get complicated or nasty. Get on with your lives and ignore her.

Zoetoes

Er am I the only one thinking some friend?? The divorce came through only 6 months ago and this bloke is now seeing his friend's ex mrs? Yeah she's an ex but I'd say it was an unspoken rule not to get with your friend's ex wife/husband!!

I say jib the 'friend' and the ex off for good!

pigpen

I'd contact the police about her stalker behaviour.. it is quite concerning.

I'd also dump said friend and ex.. creepy folk!

Pollycat

make_me_wise wrote: »

I think your partner is paranoid. She is with one of his friends and has just suggested that it would be nice to see you at social events. Maybe she is just moving on and trying to be pleasant.

Doesn't sound like paranoia on the OP's OH's part to me.

Alligg wrote: »

now my partners ex has started with the txts again saying how much she is looking forward to seeing him and wont it be nice to spend time together.my partner thinks she has got with his friend to get into our lives again and to keep tabs on what we are doing.do we tell my partners friend what she is saying and that we wont be going to any social events with them and we certainly wont be going for dinner as was her recent suggestion.
for work reasons my partner cannot change his phone number,is there a way to block her so she cannot txt.she was even sat outside my work the other day and when my partner picked me up to take me out for tea 20 mins later her and the friend turned up,he didn't know we were there and luckily they were not seated near us but it ruined the evening.
any advice would be much appreciated,we really thought she was gone and now she is back.

make_me_wise wrote: »

If neither of you wants this then change your numbers so the texts stop and dont attend events when this couple are going. It doesn't need to get complicated or nasty. Get on with your lives and ignore her.

The OP has explained that her OH can't change his number for work reasons.

I think the OP and her OH would like to get on with their own lives but to me it sounds like the ex is trying to get back into their lives.

scheming_gypsy

Your other half needs to tell the friend that if he wanted to go to social events with his ex wife he'd still be married to her

flutterby_lil

What phone has he got as on some of them you can block numbers, there is a block list,think it is samsungs you can do it on.

I think this is very weird too.

Before I got with my current partner, I was seeing a lad briefly, nothing too serious but it ended after a few weeks. My ex is now with my "best friend" - or shall we call her ex best friend. I had been told things were going on and confronted her. She denied everything and said it was me being paranoid. I wasn't bothered she was with him just that she was lying to me. In the past she had told me about all her fella's but never mentioned this one. I was very hurt and have not spoken to her in 14 months. She kept texting and apologizing to me but it was too late. We did everything together as best friends and i can't believe she has done it. I could never imagine having a cosy little evening out with my so called best friend and ex boyfriend, just wouldn't work and not something i want to do. So I have cut all ties, changed my number and got on with my life. She has said she hopes one day we can be friends again but I don't think I can do it.

So I understand your feelings and think you should politely decline any gatherings with all 4 of you.