Difficult subject - cremating a pet who is currently buried in garden....

tankgirl1

To cut a long story short, I have discovered today, that where my beautiful pooch (avvy) is buried in the garden, is actually smack bang on the boundry line of a hitherto communal garden. A 5ft fence is being erected in 2 weeks time....

The day she died, it was unexpected and I was a complete and utter mess. I KNEW I should have had her cremated, but didn't have the money, and family urged me to bury her - I was a mess, I just let it happen. BUT I always firmly believed that she was in my 'bit' of the garden. Turns out she isn't - she is in the middle...

The whys, wherefores, what if's and why didn't you's about her burial are not the subject here, so please don't focus on that. I know I should have been stronger and got her cremated, or at least checked the boundries - I didn't - I am paying for that now

The question is, I know of local pet crems who will, for a fee, exhume and cremate pets. My family has offered to pay for this.

I'm thinking about having this done in the next couple of weeks, as the thought of her being disturbed by the fence building is too much to bear. Her grave was shallow, and we built up above it, but the fence building would almost definatley disturbe her.

My feeling is that it is better for her to be disturbed in a manner which is trying to be respectful, knowing that the end product would be having her remains in the house with me, rather than workmen bashing fence posts into her resting place....

I've been in tears all afternoon & night on and off over this - would appreciate some support and advice....

Thanks for reading

Elle7

I agree. Although, unless I missed it, you didn't mention how long ago you buried her, or whether you buried her in something. If you didn't, it could be quite distressing to dig her up...I'd ask someone else to do it for you, so you don't upset yourself.

I'm sure you'll be much happier with her back inside with you, and she can travel with you when you move, if you do.

All the best x

tankgirl1

Elle7 wrote: »

I agree. Although, unless I missed it, you didn't mention how long ago you buried her, or whether you buried her in something. If you didn't, it could be quite distressing to dig her up...I'd ask someone else to do it for you, so you don't upset yourself.

I'm sure you'll be much happier with her back inside with you, and she can travel with you when you move, if you do.

All the best x

Thanks Elle

She was wrapped in a heavy blanket inside a v sturdy cardboard box. The crem company I have approached will do the digging for you.

She was buried in Sept 2007, so there will only be bones now I expect...

This news was a total shock - never ever expected to have to be seriously considering this.... But I don't think I could leave her to the workmen....

tizerbelle

tankgirl1, such a distressing time for you. Definitely get someone in to exhume her for you. All you have to decide is do you want her cremated or do you want her re-buried within your garden. Think about the two options and which you feel most comforted by and go for that.

tankgirl1

tizerbelle wrote: »

tankgirl1, such a distressing time for you. Definitely get someone in to exhume her for you. All you have to decide is do you want her cremated or do you want her re-buried within your garden. Think about the two options and which you feel most comforted by and go for that.

Thanks tizerbelle - I would definatly want her cremated so that I could always take her with me, and have her in the house with me.

I always planned on having her cremated, but as I said, it was so
sudden! She was chasing balls, nicking biscuits off the table, and generally being her wonderful normal self the day before - woke up in the morning, put my hand down to greet her (she always slept at the side of my bed), and got no response - she was gone, but still warm....

She was my 'One' - I love all my pets, but we all have the 'one' - she was mine, and I was a mess for weeks, months afterwards....

I expected her to start slowing down, acting old but she didn't - and for that I am greatful - Going in her sleep was the end she deserved - such a girl - one in a million - still miss you pooch xxx

CFC

I'm so very very sorry, how very upsetting for you. I do understand why you want to move her.

But if the crem company will come and take her away to be cremated, at least you will be able to keep her ashes with you. That may be a blessing in disguise, life is long, and you may move. There are quite a few places you can buy caskets from. My best friend has hers in a little box in a kind of leaded glass thing ( think it was some kind of miniature indoor garden cover) that we bought on a trip to France. He is at the top of her bookshelf in the living room. She likes him to be close.

Mama_Cat

tankgirl1, how very sad for you to have to deal with this.

I understand how upset you must have been and how difficult it is to make decisions when your emotions are in turmoil.

You now have this opportunity to do what you think is best and take the time to make the decision that will respect her memory and bring you comfort.

SnowyOwl_2

tankgirl, I really think you need to have your beautiful dog treated in the respectful way you have described. You know you won't rest unless you know that she is protected and looked after. Give yourself permission to go ahead and get it arranged and organised. What you have in mind sounds perfect - you will never regret it.

tankgirl1

Thankyou everyone for posting - I am in tears right now - I am scared that it is almost going to be like losing her again...

But yes, I think I owe her this - this respect and protection - I need to stop feeling so upset, and focus on looking after what is left of her

Bloody hell this is hard...

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

I think you are doing the right thing, as every moment those workmen are there, you will be dreading the discovery.

It will be difficult, but try and think of it as the company are finding a way to bring her closer to you forever.

walwin

tankgirl1 wrote: »

Thankyou everyone for posting - I am in tears right now - I am scared that it is almost going to be like losing her again...

But yes, I think I owe her this - this respect and protection - I need to stop feeling so upset, and focus on looking after what is left of her

Bloody hell this is hard...

I can only try and imagine how horrendous this must be for you, but as you say yourself, you must try now and focus on getting the job done.
Of course you are scared of how you're going to feel, that's natural, but think about how much pain and upset you'd feel if you do nothing.

So very sorry xx