Serious advice needed about benefits, no judgements please.

sweetlilac

Why do people assume that Abergele is in the back end of beyond.

yes it has a small town centre, but there is a co-op, and a big tescos, it is less than 5 miles away from Rhyl, which has a moderate town centre plus big named stores like sainsburys, comet, currys, halfords, b&q, matalan, morrisons, brantano footwear, a massive asda, etc they also have a movie theater and restaurants, obviously if your just judging the places by the tourist areas then maybe your assumption is correct but as i go there about 10 times a year i can tell you that not all of wales consists of tiny cottages in the middle of nowhere that have no electricity etc lol

I have had some of the best meals in my life in wales and some of the best times, the people are friendlier, its a more relaxed way of life and its near the ocean.

I dont see a down side

ppolly

Yes, I agree. And while we are on the subject there is also a big hospital nearby too - Ysbyty Glan Clywd. Cosmopolitan it isn't, but people do tend to have a distorted image of North Wales (sheep, isolated farms, swirling mists...)

KiKi

Beckyy wrote: »

Any chance of voluntary redundancy?

For that to happen a job has to be made redundant...

All the best, OP, whatever you decide to do.
KiKi

sweetlilac

Beckyy wrote: »

Any chance of voluntary redundancy?

Believe me if there was i would take it trust me, i was actually talking about that the other day to my brother that if they started asking for volunteers i would be gone..

dandelionclock30

You could ask about voluntary severance, a pay off. You could ask your union rep if you have one to ask them aboiut it. If they think they may be at risk of being taken to an ET for constructive dismissal then you may be able to come to some agreement.

wantsajob

How can people think it is acceptable to bully someone in the manner the OP has been at work? Whether they are experiencing mental health difficulties, or not. In that position I'd probably blow my top once I'd become resigned to the fact that I will be giving up the job anyway and show those who made my life difficult what for. Oh the joys of Neurotypical syndrome.

sweetlilac

wantsajob wrote: »

How can people think it is acceptable to bully someone in the manner the OP has been at work? Whether they are experiencing mental health difficulties, or not. In that position I'd probably blow my top once I'd become resigned to the fact that I will be giving up the job anyway and show those who made my life difficult what for. Oh the joys of Neurotypical syndrome.

Because some people dont understand and dont care that people do go through this kind of stuff. I have been on anti depressants now for over 3 years, ive been called much worse, even the dreaded C word that all women hate but nothing gets done, i was off work for 4 months in 09 for the same reasons, however when i came back the 2 men had been moved to another section.

But once a seed is sown and men get threatened by a woman who is smarter than they are it spreads quickly, you get the whole who does she think she is crap at 1st and then its she is a biatch, a slag etc etc etc they make mistakes i have to rectify which i have to report to my manager and im a grass even tho its my job, i used to try and speak to them but they made sexual and inpolite remarks like do i take it up the *** and am i a lesbian which im sorry but i find wholly inappropriate.

I have had a lot of training and have recognised qualifications to do my job, im an engineer (in house) but still its the same old i can do it much better than she can mentality which all men get when a woman is better at something than they are, and i have literally just stopped talking to people because its just not worth the drama, everything i say gets twisted around anyway.

I wouldnt wish this life on my worst enemy and nobody understands but my brother came to work here not so long ago and he lasted 6 weeks before he walked out saying that they were all a bunch of obnoxious, 2 faced, dumb, !!! kissing wan***** and considering he is also an engineer that says something.

Is it really worth staying in a job just because it pays you money even though you have to put up with this all the time ?

Would you let your girlfriend or wife put up with that ??

I doubt it..

jay_1978

It annoys me that bullying is seen as the norm these days, You need to try n record some of it maybe with your mobile phone then take your recordings to someone... Good luck with it all.

educatingmyself

Hi Sweetlilac

I am so sorry you are suffering as you are. Have you thought that you might be able to resign and get some help to claim constructive dismissal due to the unbearable work environment with all the bullying and harassment? I read somewhere that the DWP have classed a bullying incident in the workplace as an accident at work and the person was able to claim industrial injuries benefit? If your doctor signed you off, surely you would be able to claim ESA, this would probably be better off done where you are with your existing doctor, especially if you have been treated for depression for some years. Otherwise, you will have to register with a doctor who does not know you and cannot confirm one way or another how you are or have been suffering if their opinion is sought? If you are entitled to ESA, I think you should be passported to max housing and council tax benefit.

If you could do any or all of the above, it might give you breathing space to gather your strength and plan your next move with added clarity?

I think it would benefit you to Google bullying and harassment in the workplace and have a good read of the various websites, you will realise that this behaviour is unacceptable and you are worth more than that. There is a lot of information out there. As well as the grievance procedure that you are familiar with, do you have a Dignity at Work procedure, because this will help to identify some issues, ie, the bullying or harassment is defined by the sufferer and it is how it makes you feel, whether intentional or not.

If you are not too stressed and feel up to a little research a good book to try is CPAG (Child Poverty Action Group) Welfare Benefits and Tax Credits Handbook. It gives a great overview, is available in the library and is the Bible in most CABs!

I wish you every good luck, try to take a breather and look with fresh eyes!

ceridwen

Its becoming clearer - I hadnt realised you are an engineer. Presumably that means you are on a reasonable salary then? - ie rather a lot more than NMW.

I understand why this bullying is happening then (and totally abhor it - I hasten to add). So - its down to you then - are you going to get angry and think "Why the heck should I let them bully me out of earning a decent salary/having a skilled job - and have to put up with swopping to an unskilled job on little more than National Minimum Wage or maybe even a spell of unemployment?"

The choice is yours - and only you know just how bad they are making you feel and whether its so bad that you are prepared to let them bully you out of a skill/reasonable salary to have an NMW job instead.

Personally - in your position - as long as I wasnt being physically mistreated - I'd "go the official route" to try and get them shut up and just "blank them out" as much as possible (ie say nothing to them/have nothing to do with them other than the bare minimum to get the job done). Any time they interfered with me getting my job done in some way or other - I would report the person concerned. There would be two ways that course of action could go - either they would just shut up and totally ignore me and let me get on with my job in peace OR management will decide to take the easy way out and make you redundant. Either way = you win.

YOu may not feel strong enough to stand up and fight them - and no-one can say you "should" - because only you know if you are strong enough to take these neanderthals on.

Good luck - whatever your decision.