Cant stop spending and need help!

WestonDave

The other helpful trick is "tommorow". Nature of my job often means I end up wandering around town at lunchtime just for a break from the screens etc. Its very tempting to pick things up so I've developed a rule that if I see something I like, I put it back and plan to come and get it tommorow once I've researched it/checked the price online whatever. (I allow a few exceptions where its something like work shirts etc that I will definitely need and are in the sale - you'll need to make your own rules). 9 times out of ten by the time I get home from work I've forgotten what it was I thought I desperately needed!

There_Goes_Trouble

Phil3822 wrote: »

I am not trying to challenge or sound defeatest but I do ask myself that. I then respond in my mind by saying I deserve it!! I know this is not right and is disfunctional but I am feeling more positive already. I am starting by creating a journal which will detail my expediture, food and emotional state. I feel there may be some connection to my emotional state and spending/food.

I use the need/want mantra.

Deserve is not an acceptable answer, it's an excuse.

You do have to be tough with yourself, it's the only way. It boils down to will power.

I have a tendancy to be the same as you but I don't have the money to do it, so I've HAD to learn to be tough with myself. I look at something and I ask 'need or want?' and if the answer is 'want', I don't buy it. Usually reminding myself of my credit card debt is enough to help...

Perhaps you should start saving for something special, then every time you resist spending money you could put the equivalent amount in a separate account towards that something special? I'll bet you'd be amazed how quickly that pot will grow!

Steel_2

I would give all my cards to my OH, ask them to extract X amount of cash from the cashpoint every week as my spending money and to never let me have the cards again for any reason, not even if I begged and grovelled. But then that's me and I like to go cold turkey completely from something I need to stop doing.

Have you tried leaving all your cards behind one day and going to work with a packed lunch and emergency £1 only? Then gradually increase the number of days a week you go wallet-less until you don't need to take it at all.

Steel_2

Actually going back and reading your post again, are you using your money to buy stuff that will keep you from being bored?

Eating is linked to boredom.
Hobbies are there to ward off boredom.

What's your life lie in general? What about work?

Phil3822

Probably steel. Very simple but very probable. I work as a Prison Service manager. Generally fast paced with a fair amount of action. I do get bored easily. For example right now I am watching TV, on the laptop, eating and thinking. Soon I will do some housework while listening to music.

getmore4less

Phil3822 wrote: »

Probably steel. Very simple but very probable. I work as a Prison Service manager. Generally fast paced with a fair amount of action. I do get bored easily. For example right now I am watching TV, on the laptop, eating and thinking. Soon I will do some housework while listening to music.

As has been said you seem to need some focus.

I would start with the SOA/spending diary but try to go to the next level and get some finance software where you can track your spending in great detail spend time analysing what options there are and then introduce some goals that need savings, like pay off the mortgage, a great holiday, new cars etc.

Even though not supported I like MSMoney there are others.

The key here is to get control before it become a debt issue.
This can become obsesive in a good way takes a while to get good data to work with unless you back fill with say the last 12 months.

The food one not so easy for me to understand I can go without eating and it does not bother me.

One thing that works for someone I know is to look at foods that makes you feel full £ for lb things like meat are cheaper than junk food anyway and make you feel full and don't make you as fat like sugar carb based foods do.

What about identifying food that you really like and planing meals around those, if they actualy need time to do well that could be an interesting hobby.
Do you have a garden could you look at growing some food.
Next door use to works shift at the local prison and he got involved with the garden program there and ustilized his free day time to do stuff in his own garden.

For example right now I am watching TV, on the laptop, eating and thinking
what about just going for a walk when you want thinking time the above thinking will be of very low quality with TV on posting here and eating distracting it.

Phil3822

Thanks getmore4less. One thing I am going to start doing is do a debt free diary. Less about getting out of debt and more about keeping debt free. I am going to do it on here in the debt diary section and I will post daily expenditure outside of my SOA plus what I eat. I will also have some goals there like I have booked to go to Kenya in Jan and need to pay the holiday off plus save spending money. Writing it on a forum will be better for me I feel as I will feel as if I am telling someone what I am up to as well as externalising it myself. Again thanks for all. I am thinking of some positive steps due to this thread and have found it helpful communicating... albeit on a forum.

FatVonD

I agree with both of Weston Dave's posts up there *points*, take a look at the mortgage-free wannabe board, work out how quickly you could pay yours off with the money you're wasting and then start to get your highs from saving money, not spending it. Ebay everything you don't need and throw that at your mortgage too, decrease the term so you have less available cash each month. Take yourself to your local superstore in the evening and be gobsmacked at how many carrier bags of food you can walk out with for a fiver, I guarantee you'll be staring in disbelief at anyone prepared to pay full price for anything in no time at all!